I need to do SOMETHING

[jcjersey]

My girlfriend and I were together for over 3 years and engaged for 2 months before we broke up in early April of this year. We had broken up once before only 3 months into the relationship during which she dated someone else for a few months. When she broke up with that guy I was the shoulder to cry on and I figured that's all I would be but it turned into a long and strong relationship which i didn't think would end. This current break up took developed over the course of a weekend. That friday she called me and told me that she needed to stay over her friends house that night because she was having anxiety about our relationship and getting married. She has a lot of anxiety and sometimes panic attacks. I figured it would just pass after a while like it usually does. The next day (saturday) she asked me if i'd be willing to go to a pre-marriage counselor with her and suggested that we try moving in together before deciding to get married. I was shocked but agreed. Then the next day she dropped the big bomb. She said she didn't think we should get married and thought we should end our relationship. More shock. She gave me the ring back at that point.

The next few weeks after that were just a haze of shock for me. After a few weeks I started reflecting on my behavior during the relationship and realized I had resented her for breaking up with me and dating someone else during the early stages of our relationship. I believe that really hurt the relationship because I was afraid to completely open up to her in fear that I'd be hurt again. A lot of the time my behavior, actions, and words did not reflect how I really felt about her. I think because of that she thought i wasn't that attracted to her and took her for granted. I have a lot of guilt about this because she didn't deserve that resentment. I also feel like if i wouldn't have been able to put those feelings behind me a long time ago that could've saved the relationship.

It's been six weeks since we broke up and i've been very depressed and can't stop thinking about it. I feel like i need to meet up with her and tell her exactly how i feel about her. I'm afraid of more hurt that would result if the meeting doesn't go well but i know I'll regret it forever if I don't do anything. What should i do? what should i say?