i don't know

[G]

how normal is it to still have feelings for someone who you broke up with two years ago? it's not like i brood over our break up on a daily basis, but i still have these feelings i can't seem to forget. i've met other guys, but none of them ever make me feel the way he did.

 

sometimes late at night i get very depressed because i feel like i made a mistake, and i know i can never repair what has been done. i thought i was doing what was best for both of us. we were best friends and we were together for years, but distance and mutual differences tore the relationship apart. it hurt at first, but eventually we both moved on.

 

well, i thought i moved on, but apparently i'm still stuck in the past.

 

i've e-mailed him over the past couple of years and i know he's doing well, has a girlfriend, etc. i'm happy for him and wish him the best, but i still constantly kick myself in the ass for screwing up and losing him. even though we had problems i still should have tried to work through them

 

instead of just breaking up. is it normal to feel this way?

 

what can i do just snap out of this? it's starting to really make me depressed. especially since i know he

 

has moved on and i haven't.

[Tony T]

You didn't screw up or doing anything wrong. You were rightly practical.

 

It takes a lot more than love to make a relationship work. It's surely hell to leave a relationship where there is love because it just won't work for a host of other reasons. Doing that is very difficult but it has to be done. Love alone just won't carry two people over the long haul.

 

You still have feelings for him because you're wanting to hold on to something that felt good. You've got to realize there were very solid reasons why the relationship terminated. It's OK to continue to love him in some ways but moving forward is important.

 

Your goal where romance is concerned should be to ultimately fall in love with somebody where most everything else feels good as well and there aren't compelling reasons why you can't stay together despite the intense feelings.

 

I promise you, you did the right thing. So many people get married solely on the basis of passionate, romantic feelings only to wake up one day next to someone they have nothing in common with and sometimes don't even like.

 

The problems you broke up over were obviously serious enough that you didn't want to deal with them. Stick to your decision...back yourself up...and march forward.

 

Give yourself time...and give others a chance to fulfill you in ways this guy never did. I also highly recommend you cease contact with him, stop the emails, phone calls, letters, etc. There is no good, constructive reason for doing this. Let him get on with his life and you will be able to make much better progress with yours.

 

Ceasing all contact, as much as you'd like to hold on, is probably the cure for your problem.

[darcy071]

I can understand how disturbing and painfull this must be for you. I do agree that you are fixated and need to find a way to move on with your life. You must discontinue any contact with him, that is a good start. It sounds like he has wonderfull qualities, but now is the time to focus on you. Dont try and find someone who is like him but rather a person who you enjoy being with. If you find you feeling and depression are persistant that maybe councelling and anti depressant might help. I know this is not easy for you and i hope all the best.

[Tigger]

I think it's perfectly normal. Have even felt that way myself about a previous relationship. I think these feelings usually stem from a lack of an intimate relationship...when you don't have someone in your life and it's been awhile since you've made a 'connection' to someone, it's perfectly logical for you to start remembering and yearning for the last person who made you feel loved.

 

Just keep in mind the reasons that you didn't stay together in the first place. I'm sure they were legitimate or you wouldn't have ended the relationship in the first place, right?

 

I know it's hard, but I don't think you should contact him anymore until you are over these feelings and are more content with yourself and your life. Hope this helps even a little bit. )

how normal is it to still have feelings for someone who you broke up with two years ago? it's not like i brood over our break up on a daily basis, but i still have these feelings i can't seem to forget. i've met other guys, but none of them ever make me feel the way he did. sometimes late at night i get very depressed because i feel like i made a mistake, and i know i can never repair what has been done. i thought i was doing what was best for both of us. we were best friends and we were together for years, but distance and mutual differences tore the relationship apart. it hurt at first, but eventually we both moved on. well, i thought i moved on, but apparently i'm still stuck in the past. i've e-mailed him over the past couple of years and i know he's doing well, has a girlfriend, etc. i'm happy for him and wish him the best, but i still constantly kick myself in the ass for screwing up and losing him. even though we had problems i still should have tried to work through them instead of just breaking up. is it normal to feel this way? what can i do just snap out of this? it's starting to really make me depressed. especially since i know he has moved on and i haven't.

[STARBUCK]

get yourself a male blow-up doll for companionship. when he gets on your nerves, just put him in the closet. name him Igor.

how normal is it to still have feelings for someone who you broke up with two years ago? it's not like i brood over our break up on a daily basis, but i still have these feelings i can't seem to forget. i've met other guys, but none of them ever make me feel the way he did. sometimes late at night i get very depressed because i feel like i made a mistake, and i know i can never repair what has been done. i thought i was doing what was best for both of us. we were best friends and we were together for years, but distance and mutual differences tore the relationship apart. it hurt at first, but eventually we both moved on. well, i thought i moved on, but apparently i'm still stuck in the past. i've e-mailed him over the past couple of years and i know he's doing well, has a girlfriend, etc. i'm happy for him and wish him the best, but i still constantly kick myself in the ass for screwing up and losing him. even though we had problems i still should have tried to work through them instead of just breaking up. is it normal to feel this way? what can i do just snap out of this? it's starting to really make me depressed. especially since i know he has moved on and i haven't.