Depressed over girl in LDR.

[Andy11]

I met this girl online and we started talking everyday. We started talking about everything from relationships, family, school. Anyway....she lives in Greece and i live in the States. A year into talking on the phone everyday and getting to know her....she asks me to visit. SO i visit Greece we have a great time...go places, sex, get to know one another even more. I know she really like me and i like here also at this point. I get back to the states and we still continue talking everyday. We do things over the phone.............this goes on for another 7 months. Then she asks me if i see this going anywhere? I know she cares for me a lot and loves me. She asks if either of us are willing to move? I say there is no way i can move there and shes says the same about here. I get really depressed at this point. I have a history of depression to begin with. Anyway, this is where we are now. She says to perhaps be friends and talk a lot, but move on with our lives. She says it too difficult to be this apart and try to be together. In a way she is right, but a part of me is attached and i dont want to give this up. Is she right in telling me to maintain friendship since neither of us are gonna move? I am depressed at this point....i dont know what to do. I wish circumstances were different. Is she being rational and i am not? Please help.

[Sardonyx]

If it is impossible for either of you to relocate, then move along.

 

If love is very strong and real, so that selfishness is laid to rest, then love would triumph and one would relocate.

 

Perhaps yu may have discussed it, but do so. If she were to move, what would she do? Would she miss her home and culture; would she get to do the things she loves? What about finances? Do the same for yourself! Love is not about rose-coloured glasses, but about the practical things that make things work, even when some of the lustre is gone out of a relationship.

 

Do the tough analysis and arrive at a firm conclusion.

[luvvedupnyc]

I think she's being sensible. I mean if none of you are willing to move? I am in a LDR and would move tomorrow if it was possible and we have spoke about this. You either have to move on... or rethink what you want from each other.... Good Luck

[Jadey]

^I agree.

 

Good luck:)

[Bite_To_Break_Skin]

I have a similar story. I met a girl through my Xanaga account. Neither one of us was looking for a relationship, it just sort of happened. We spent an entire year communicating through the web and over the phone before I moved to Canada to be with her. We lived together for about 7 months before I had to move back to the States due to financial problems. I couldn't work legally in Canada and it was impossible to find a job under the table. I've only been away from her for 2 months and already we're making plans for me to come back within the next 2 weeks. I'm giving up everything to be with her...my family, my career (I manage a restaurant and make a pretty decent living), all of my friends and my independence...and I don't care. She's worth it. She's my soul mate.

[leopardprint]

Bite, that's absolutely beautiful.

 

I kinda of agree with everyone else. You have to understand, she's sort of already made her decision and she sounds like she's ok with it, and believes it the sensible thing to do.

 

I am also in an LDR, and we've been talking about moving in to one another since we started. We also met on the internet through random circumstances (an online forum of one of our shared interests), and we too didn't expect anything to come out of it - but we did. We've been in love and each other's best friend ever since. Now, we've been in an LDR for two years, and have been planning our move ever since. As of right now, he will be coming to me come March, '07, and if I can get it to work, I'll be moving there sooner. In all honesty, neither of us really cares who moves where; as long as we're together. (I'm just being picky about yuckie Arizona heat! )

 

We're willing to give up a lot of things to do this move, however, it's also very reasonable. We won't be leaving much; maybe family, but each of our imediate families are only a 3 - 4hr plain flight away. Also, we are both in industries where you can get a job in that field pretty much anywhere, so it's not hard for either of us to find a job. That, and the move is within the same country, so neither of us need to do a change of citizenship, etc.

 

If it's really out of the question for both of you, besides being in love, you should except this and try to move on. It will most likely just eat away at you.