MercyRose Posted October 13, 2001 Share Posted October 13, 2001 My current boyfriend chased me, had infinite patience [about six months]drowned me with sweet words and lots of attention and finally won my heart. He lives in a different country and is in army service till next October. Which is why I avoided it to begin with... Now I am his offical steady girlfriend-he stated we are not to date other people and that he wants to marry me when he is out the army. As soon as he made that statement and I agreed he lessened contact gradually. The 5 sms messages a day became every three days, then every week. He called me on the phone, asked me to call him. But the contact was lessened a great deal. Then my trip to visit him got cancelled [his grandma died]Again practically non-existent contact,but when he does make contact he is all love and sweetness. At first I was supportive and understanding, then I wondered if he changed his mind. Eventually I asked him telling him its ok if he changed his mind. He insisted he loves me and that he hasn't changed his mind. I try to discuss his lack of communication-he won't discuss it-shuts me out when he doesn't like what I am asking. And still no contact. I break up with him, he insists he loves me and people who love eachother do not break up. Still no contact unless I contact him first. I have another trip coming up in two weeks but he hasn't mentioned it yet... Sooooo...why does he say he loves me and won't break up with me and then practically ignore me? And I might add gets a touch agressive if I am miffed when he doesn't communicate. Is he lying? He won't tell me whats going on and I can't help the way I feel, which is hurt, confused and guilty in case I am over-reacting and not trusting his words. Maybe I am unfair to forget how special it was in the good times now we are going through a rocky patch. After all relationships are not all moonlight and roses...are they? Link to post Share on other sites
darcy071 Posted October 13, 2001 Share Posted October 13, 2001 I can do this one! I have just went through a similiar situation my exgirlfriend swomped with i love you. your the greatest, theres no one like you the whole bit. The same type of pattern developed as in your case. Our relationship has come to a painfull end [at least for me anyway]I think you should hold off on seeing him untill you are 100% sure he is serious and committed. Those word he used are wonderfull to hear, but trust they might only be words. You must protect yourself and make sure your not setting yourself up for a big let down. I truly hope it works out for you. Best wishes Darcy Link to post Share on other sites
Author MercyRose Posted October 13, 2001 Author Share Posted October 13, 2001 Thanx for the best wishes Darcy ) Was it your girlfriend who ended it or you? Link to post Share on other sites
darcy071 Posted October 13, 2001 Share Posted October 13, 2001 I confronted her about the situation but she would not give me a straight answer[this was in england, i live in canada. So i came back home i have not heard from her since. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MercyRose Posted October 13, 2001 Author Share Posted October 13, 2001 I am very sorry you went through something like that. First you think its too good to be true when they love you so much, then once you are convinced its a fairytale came true it suddenly ends. I tried not to contact him...but I miss him, I worry if he is ok and basically love him, so i can't last longer than a week. Maybe with time i'll extend the gap till he disappears out of my life too, like vanishing cream ) If he does contact me about the trip, how should i handle it, cos to be honest, his behaviour doesn't make me feel joy in going, it would be more like a salvage trip if I go...to cement things maybe What should I tell him? Link to post Share on other sites
darcy071 Posted October 13, 2001 Share Posted October 13, 2001 Thank you so much for your warm feelings. I know exactly how you feel i really miss the phone calls the beautifull @mails, the fairy tale. I think you would be making the right choice in not going to see him at this time. I to wish the phone would ring and hear her voice. It will take a little time for both of us but we will accept it and move on, maybe a little wiser. Link to post Share on other sites
STARBUCK Posted October 14, 2001 Share Posted October 14, 2001 tell him to go sit on his axis and rotate. I am very sorry you went through something like that. First you think its too good to be true when they love you so much, then once you are convinced its a fairytale came true it suddenly ends. I tried not to contact him...but I miss him, I worry if he is ok and basically love him, so i can't last longer than a week. Maybe with time i'll extend the gap till he disappears out of my life too, like vanishing cream ) If he does contact me about the trip, how should i handle it, cos to be honest, his behaviour doesn't make me feel joy in going, it would be more like a salvage trip if I go...to cement things maybe What should I tell him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MercyRose Posted October 14, 2001 Author Share Posted October 14, 2001 Thats exactly what I did last night!! hehehe and I feel much better for it ) *relief* Link to post Share on other sites
darcy071 Posted October 14, 2001 Share Posted October 14, 2001 Glad to hear it. Link to post Share on other sites
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