Cupcake Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 I've posted sevearl threads about finding the right guy. Many of us single women are searching for a good guy. I've also read some post about how and why woman like 'bad buys.' Well, I met this guy a few months ago. We've only been on two dates. I get the feeling that he likes me ALOT because he calls me, text me often. The problem I have with him is that he doesn't have much to say. I'm not sure if we have anything in common because he seems to want to do whatever I want to do. He makes everything about me. While that's a step up from some of the abusive relationships I've had in the past, I need a man who has his own opinion. There is a social class diffrence between us. He never went to college, doesn't have much money, and isn't very attractive. The only thing he has going for him is that...he's nicer than all the men I've dated in the past. Otherwise, I'm not attracted to him at all. Am I being "too picky," or should I find a way to accept this guy? Right now, I'd like to just be friends with him. But he wants more. I don't want to turn away a good guy, because I know how rare they are. Please tell me...is this what a good guy is like...(boring, quiet, uninformed, and clingy)??? Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 Please tell me...is this what a good guy is like...(boring, quiet, uninformed, and clingy)??? No that's not what a good guy is like. You don't know that this guy is a good guy at all, because he isn't revealing much of himself to you. Only when he gets to be comfortable will the real guy come out. An abusive guy is not better, but I'm not sure a guy who isn't comfortable with himself enough to express his own desires and opinions to you is the way to go either. I wouldn't say move on, necessarily, because this guy could be a good one. You'll have to go with your instincts on him, and don't let him mistreat you. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 He sounds like a good guy, but it doesn't sound like you're very interested in him romantically. It sounds like you've dated "jerks" in the past, but now, you're dealing with the opposite extreme....the "nice guy." There's a happy medium called a "gentleman." That's what you want. They're out there. Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 I don't know, I think finding someone who will be nice to you is rare. I say keep talking with him and see how things develop. Maybe bring up some of your concerns and try to ask more questions about him to find out more of who he is. I think you will find yourself either developing feelings for him or not but you're not going to know until you find out more about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Pantero Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 See how it goes. There's nothing wrong with being friends for now and then becoming lovers later...you may wanna discover the "real" him with time. Remember, meeting someone new = meeting ppl who put their best foot forward. Past that 15 minutes of charm, who knows. The clingy trait you mention throws up a red flag. Clingy is, well...eh. But it's a bit too early. Like everyone else said be wary, but have fun. Just be sure you don't lead him on, although I get the feeling he might consider you talking to him alone as a sign of maddening interest. Like the other guy said - GENTLEMEN are the nice happy medium the gals will want. Not abusive, nice, independant and complete with his own backbone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cupcake Posted May 18, 2006 Author Share Posted May 18, 2006 Thanks for the replies. This same guy left a voice mail message for me the other day. He said, "Hello beautiful. This is Arnold, your future husband. Give me a call when you get this message." We haven't gone out on a date in over a month. We haven't spoken to each other in three weeks. But he sends text messages every day. Most of the time, I don't even reply to him. Why would he refer to himself as my 'future husband'? Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Thanks for the replies. This same guy left a voice mail message for me the other day. He said, "Hello beautiful. This is Arnold, your future husband. Give me a call when you get this message." We haven't gone out on a date in over a month. We haven't spoken to each other in three weeks. But he sends text messages every day. Most of the time, I don't even reply to him. Why would he refer to himself as my 'future husband'? If he was being sarcastic, and had a funny undertone then I'd let it pass and take it as a humorous comment. Maybe he's just trying to be funny with you. But, if he was being serious... I'd be turned off. It's up to you, where you want to take it from there. In my opinion, give him a chance and set up a date sometime this week. Try to discover his true being. Don't forget to listen to your gut insticts. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 This isnt the nice guy... this is the desperate guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Hmm. Clingy, self-effacing, and calling himself 'your future husband'. Sounds like a potential stalker to me. Link to post Share on other sites
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