There is a time and place for everything including porn

[princess21348]

I have read alot of the posts on here about porn and men etc. My story is a little different and I beleive that there are certain times definately in a relationship that porn can be very damaging. My fiance and I have had kind of a whirlwind relationship, I beleive we are meant to be but there have been a few problems everyone has them. I have never been a woman to like porn at all, in fact it has been a problem in most of my other relationships. I started our relationship off differently, I did tell him on our first date I didn;'t like porn ,he said he wasn't that into it either. The first time I ever went back to his apartment, no it wasn't the first date, he made the comment he had thrown out the two porn tapes he had, if I wanted to I could check, I just laughed him off. OUr relationship was what i would consider perfect for about 4 months, we basically moved right in together in his studio apartment he was living in above his parents garage, he had just went through a divorce, I am also divorced. He was staying involved with his ex wifes kids, they weren;t his but he loved them as they were. He took care of me when I had 2 surgeries, my tonsils removed and precancerous cells from my cervix removed, took care of me, he never wanted me to go home, even cleaned out part of his closet for me and my kids clothes, I have 2 kids as well. Then suddenly on my first day back to work after my surgeries he gets all weird then he tells me he wants to break up we are moving too fast, etc etc then 2 days later he wants to be back together but slow things down, This has made me insecure about our relationship already, I don;t think his reasons are that great, I wanted to go to my house and stay he never wanted me to leave, sure he could have been scared but I found myself wondering if he wasn't trying to go back to his ex, her kids wanted him back there. I have never gotten another answer about this, he likes to just pretend everything is ok after we have a fight about something. Anyway I find out about a month after we are back together that I am pregnant. I still was not over the break up thing and then while I was pregnant I finally one day decided I was going to get over it and that we weren't just together because I was pregnant, especially after him doing things to convince me of this, so I decide to trust that he is not going to run off and he really loves me and this is meant to be again. So anyhow during my pregnancy he also decides to have less to do with his ex's kids. So things are perfect again for awhile. I start staying at my house more often mostly through the week mainly so I don;t have to drag my kids out early in the morning when he works and such. ok so now let me tell u I have a very HIGH sex drive for a woman and alot of times he couldn't even perform as often as I wanted but it was ok I would get over it. OK so when I'm about 8 months pregnant I am at his apartment waiting for him to get home from a basketball game and I find a porn, at first feelings of jealousy and such then I think well I'm not here as many nights so I decide to set up the tape to see if and when he's watching it. So anyway I wanted sex after he got home from the ball game and he turned me down and it had been a few days. So the next morning I had to leave to go do some things and that night when I get back to his apartment someone had watched the tape, he tries telling me it wasn't him yea ok, I was so hurt and felt betrayed and pregnant women already feel fat and ugly enough this was just like a knife through my heart. I didn't want to be near him. He has the real thing anytime he wants and I have never refused him anything in bed anything he wants to try I do no matter what. So after all this It gets even worse a few weeks later 4 days before I'm about to give birth to his daughter, I was looking to see if there was a hair thing in this box he has that things like that used to be in and 4 porno tapes fall out of it. I lost it immediately, he had already turned me down for sex this night too and was in the shower. I left and went to my house, The next day while he was at work I went to his house to look and see what the hell was going on and even asked him befpre i went if I would find anymore before I went there he said no, I found eight EIGHT and here I am 4 days away from giving birth. Then I also find out Now keep in mind we haven't even purchased everything I will need for baby when I give birth in 4 days then I find out he has also purchased them from our satellite provider payed $20 for the stuff and also rented it at our local video store where I have friends that work. It was mostly the fact of being turned down and the fact of lying, I feel obsessed with this stuff now, when I found all these things it did feel like he had cheated, and he was selfish, sex was Very pleasurable for me while pregnant and he would rather be doing that stuff. FYI guys this is a BAD idea. I wanted to go out and cheat on him just to prove to him even though I was pregnant I could still be wanted. I talk to his best friend alot that is paralyzed from his underarms down and he understood how I felt alot I was so upset I couldn't eat or sleep and all I could do is cry. His friend called him to tell him this and he said he had apologized and he had but it didn't help. See I might've been able to understand it after the baby when we couldn't do anything but his timing was awful and now I'm very insecure about everything and the baby is 4 weeks old and I still have baby weight and can't even stand for him to look at another woman. I was a very attractive woman before all this got asked out/flirted with everywhere I went. and I do Love him and think he is a good man in most ways, he says he never meant to make me feel that way and won't watch it again, oh yea before I found all this I was going to surprise him and get a porno to watch with him, he has ruined this and now we just had sex for the first time since the baby and I felt the whole time like he was fantasing about these other women and like I'm not enough, after this it has made me feel like I don;t want sex anymore, and thats not me I wanted it all the time and more than he did, we are waiting to close on our house then move in it and get married. Oh yea and what I did with the porno's I tore the tapes to shreds all over his house and since he has easy access to more tapes, his step dad has 2 boxes full in the garage I also broke the VCR we have no other VCR tapes only DVD's so we don;t need it, especially if it was worth lying to me about, let me tell u more, he has just never had a reason to do this to me and it has tore us up. See while we were still at the hospital the day after I had the baby by C section I gave him oral. I mean he has everything. And one more thing to all men with little girls porn can have a bad effect on them my daughter who is 9 went to her dads one weekend to visit and she found a playboy and porn on his computer and came home and said she wanted to be a stripper thats just great, u have to set examples no one is perfect but some things can be helped. My fiance has now caused these problems on his own I was not this way before, and he tried to turn it around on me for being pregnant of course he apologized later and I didn't get myself that way. But I am also obsessed now with searching to see if he is getting porn from anywhere and lying about it, it has destroyed all my trust and faith in him I used to think when he said I was the most beautiful woman in the world to him it was true and I have no faith in that I feel as soon as I am away from him he's watching anything he can about other women. any how one more thing I used to be a big partier but his ex wife went to bars and cheated on him and so I have promised him I would never go to a bar without him and I meant that but may have to break it now, he just wants this whole situation dropped and to go on. So what do u think will he really give it up? I have a friend that says to stop checking and let him fall on his face on his own What do u think?

[Spectre]

You say he shouldnt look at porn cuz he gets sex whenever possible, but that cant be true because you say several times in your post that he would do it while you were gone sometimes. It's also hypocritical to be upset but then thinking of breaking whatever promise you made to him, two wrongs don't make a right and you'll just cause more problems.

 

You have to realize even if you do it 10 times a day there will still be times when a guy looks at porn..you say he gets it whenever he wants but thats only when you're available, which can't be 24/7..and as dumb as it sounds..guys are horny 24/7, lol. sorry, my advice would just be not to worry about it, if he gets in the habit of choosing porn over being with you then theres a problem

[Guest]

Thats just it he was turning me down to look at porn that was a BIG problem and I am available just about 24 hours a day he no longer wants me to work the only reason we are apart at all is because he is at work and the fact we haven't had the closing on our house then I will be with him all the time when he is home from work. But he was choosing porn over me. He turned me down several times then I found out he was doing that. and point being he knew from our first date it's not something I would like for him to do. Sorry I'm not signed in but I am the person that wrote this. It goes back to don;t make promises u can't keep as well, I haven't broken any I made to him and expect the same or it breaks trust.

[Delectable]

What do I think? Well opinions are like a-holes everyone has one but I must caution you

 

**PLEASE don't read if you can't take very blunt advice. I have not tried to be sensitive at all with my response**

 

Well please forgive me for not sugar-coating this or finding the sensitive way to put this to you, but - "YOU are being controlling, manipulative and a insane" Are you validated by feeling insecure that your fiance enjoys pornography. YES absolutely - I don't understand that - but a lot of women out there do. It is very common for you not to like pornography but to force your fiance to not watch it is totally wrong. It appears that he has never subjected you to it...pressured you to watch it...in fact he went to great lengths to keep it out of your experience.

 

Let me be a bit more specific:

I did tell him on our first date I didn;'t like porn

This is your perogative. As I said earlier...I don't understand or relate to it but it is your opinion. If you don't like country music - does this mean he is forbidden to groove to kenny chesney when you aren't around? If you don't like soap operas should he be crucified for enjoying a little "BO & HOPE"? If you don't like video games because you feel they promote violence and the objectification of women does this mean he can't play one when he's alone....? NO NO & NO! This is a grown man. One that has been married before. This is not your child. You can't tell him what to do and what not to do...if you don't like it ... or can't stand it...L E A V E - but for chrissakes who died and made you the great controller?

 

 

OUr relationship was what i would consider perfect for about 4 months, we basically moved right in together in his studio apartment he was living in above his parents garage, he had just went through a divorce

Poor gent, as it is he had lived on his own and now after a RECENT divorce is forced to a STUDIO apartment over his parents house. He is entitiled and deserves some autonomy. Yet he enjoys your company and having you around AND YOU WANT TO CONTROL WHAT HE DOES WHEN YOU AREN'T AROUND??????

 

 

 

He was staying involved with his ex wifes kids, they weren;t his but he loved them as they were.

Evidence of a very loyal caring man.....do I think the fact that he told you he threw them all out and then started getting some more is kosher...well yes and no...if he was lying about it...that's not cool...but if he has started to get some more over the last 15 months...more power to him. I respect that he didn't force you to partake or watch them.

 

 

He took care of me when I had 2 surgeries,

Even more evidence of a loyal and caring man who respects your needs....(but if your needs include controling what he does when you aren't around...that is a bit psycho)

 

 

 

he wants to break up we are moving too fast, etc etc

Well...you are. Esp with your issues.

 

 

 

I found myself wondering if he wasn't trying to go back to his ex, her kids wanted him back there. I have never gotten another answer about this, he likes to just pretend everything is ok after we have a fight about something.

Why? because he tried to maintain a relationship with her kids? Of course the kids would want him back in a family unit. Esp. since he loved them like they were his own. So now while he is trying to spend as much time with you...YOU think he wants to be elsewhere? That is a bit overly paranoid and meritless...maybe there is something you aren't saying - if not kinda psycho

 

 

 

Anyway I find out about a month after we are back together that I am pregnant.

You have kids already...that you cram into his studio apt with him so you can spend more time with him and now you are pregnant again....W O W

 

 

 

I'm about 8 months pregnant I am at his apartment waiting for him to get home from a basketball game and I find a porn,

 

 

at first feelings of jealousy and such then I think well I'm not here as many nights

Pregnant women are overly emotional. This is a bit crazy. So what...So what...what does this do to you? Why can't he enjoy himself in private if he is caring for you and your kids as often as YOU want him too? You sound very selfish. (PLEASE NOTE THAT YOU SAID YOU KIND OF UNDERSTOOD BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT THERE MANY NIGHTS...I WILL COME BACK TO THIS LATER)

 

 

 

I decide to set up the tape to see if and when he's watching it.

 

It gets even worse a few weeks later 4 days before I'm about to give birth to his daughter, I was looking to see if there was a hair thing in this box he has that things like that used to be in and 4 porno tapes fall out of it. I lost it immediately

Um...so now you are snooping through his home. Do you find letters or emails to other women? Do you find other women's telephone numbers? Do you find panties or condoms? OH YOU FIND pornos - that he hid - because you told him on your first date that you didn't like it....SO WHAT????

 

 

See I might've been able to understand it after the baby when we couldn't do anything but his timing was awful and now I'm very insecure about everything

This is very hypocritical of you...you might have been able to understand that he would watch porno when he is unable to have sex with you after you have a baby...but he is not allowed to watch porn when you don't want him to....hmmmmm kinda psyco. He is a grown man. You have no right or authority to dictate to him when he can and can not masturbate, fantasize or play basketball. What you do have the right to do and the authority for...is that you can leave if you don't like it.

 

 

 

pregnant women already feel fat and ugly enough this was just like a knife through my heart.

Your issue...not his. It would be great and loving for him to help you with this IF you are sharing your feelings about it with him...but it is not wrong for him to 'spank it' when you are alone

 

 

 

oh yea before I found all this I was going to surprise him and get a porno to watch with him, he has ruined this

THIS SUMS UP HOW CONTROLING YOU ARE. He can watch porn of you bring it around....God I wish MadDog or AlphaMale or Tudor or Art Critic or ANY of them men on here would tell you how wrong this is. So as you said earlier...You initially thought it was alright for him to watch porn because you werent around many nights, THEN you say you could understand if he watched porn right after you deliver when you can't have sex with him AND NOW you say this P S Y C O...you are very manipulative and disrespectful

 

 

 

Oh yea and what I did with the porno's I tore the tapes to shreds all over his house and since he has easy access to more tapes, his step dad has 2 boxes full in the garage I also broke the VCR we have no other VCR tapes only DVD's so we don;t need it,

PSYCHO P S Y C H O PSYCHO P S Y C H O PSYCHO P S Y C H O -you are very vengeful and vindictive if you don't get your way...WOW your relationship is toxic and you feel like he needs to do things your way or the highway. You may be alone with even more kids soon.

 

 

 

he has just never had a reason to do this to me and it has tore us up. See while we were still at the hospital the day after I had the baby by C section I gave him oral. I mean he has everything.

This is just insane...I can't even comment on this one

 

 

 

I used to be a big partier but his ex wife went to bars and cheated on him and so I have promised him I would never go to a bar without him and I meant that but may have to break it now

You are a very manipulative woman. Go ahead...do this...tell me how well it works for you

 

 

 

he just wants this whole situation dropped and to go on.

....um yeah....

 

Listen, you are a both adults. He can't tell you, " I love Pornography" and force you to be around it and accept it anymore than you can tell him, "I hate pornography" and force him to never watch it. You guys can agree that it is something you won't do together. But you can't decide when it is okay for him to watch it. You have some self esteem issues and no relationship will last for you until you work on them. He has welcomed you and kids into a STUDIO apt. above his parents garage, and encourages you to spend as much time with him as possible, and has stayed with you through an unexpected child - and you want to control him. Please get some help - before it's too late for your family.

[Guest]

OK first off there are some things that I as well enjoyed in my life before him that I have given up as well but I don;t dwell on them or do them behind his back or lie about them so yea I guess I left some things out and how can u say stayed with me after an unexpected pregnancy?????? IT"S HIS KID I didn't do it alone and if he can tell me certain things not to do that make him insecure then yes I feel I have all the right in the world to do the same, thats basically the only I have ever asked. So I think u misread it and u know it makes it worse to hide it and lie about it and I have no problem with masturbation, just pornography, I know he is going to do that and guess what I did try to leave him over this issue and he begged me not to now wether he is lying about his promises or not we will see and I don;t treat him like a child in any other way thanks he does whatever else he pleases. Yea ur right u didn't sugar coat anything but I'm pretty sure u have it wrong. I feel it would be the equivalent of me posting nude pics online and if he wouldn't like me to do that which I know he wouldn't then why is it ok for him or lets see if he wants to fantasize about a woman having sex with 5 men then why wouldn't he let me do it? That seems a little controlling on his part to me if it's ok to watch then he could watch me do it but no that would never fly now would it?????

[princess21348]

OK and I really wish you knew me in real life I"m really not controlling and to me If that were going to be a big deal for him when I told him that on our first date maybe he should have walked away then and I have said maybe u missed it It's more the lying and sneaking around that bothers me most no I don;t like pornography and he knew that and let me also clarify that I didn't stay every night but I took him his supper and stayed awhile everynight but no I didn't stay the whole night. My beleif is that in every relationship there are problems and ppl have to compromise on things and some things can't be compromised on I have given up several things for him and I don;t regret it or long for it anymore I love and respect him and if he isn't comfortable with me doing something whatever his reasons I will do it I think thats another reason it bothers me is because I am willing to give up for him but he can't for me? I used to love to go clubbing not to pick up guys I was fine being single before I met him but he is not so comfortable with me going without him so I don;t and I don;t want to and another reason it bothers me is I feel like we are living separate lives until we close on our house next week he goes home alone and I have a baby to take care of all night now and the reason I do this is for my other children who are in school I don;t want them to have to get up any earlier for school and they are finishing out the school year here so when this happened I have been sacrificing my time with him to do the right thing I thought because children come first ya know maybe I think too much of other ppl maybe u don;t see that.

[Sal Paradise]

No guy who likes porn will give it up. He will just get better at hiding his stash. I know guys who are in controlling relationships and they all eventually find ways to hide the porn. Whether its a stash at work, in the garage, maybe they have a buddy burn a bunch on a DVDR or two (you can hide a dvdr almost anywhere). All you're doing is pushing him into dishonesty by not accepting him for who he is. I would venture to guess that 90% of the American Male population between the ages of 18-55 looks at porn once a month (probably way more). Good luck finding one who doesn't, and if he appears to not look at it, its probably because he is hiding it or denying it.

[Guitar Wizard]

I was going to post, but Delectable covered all the bases.

 

Anyway, about the whole "Why wont this guy sleep with me while im pregnant" thing...

 

Some guys just feel discouraged by the fact that THERE IS A BABY INSIDE THERE!

 

Some guys don't care, and will poke away, but some guys just dislike the fact of sticking it in the home of their unborn child.

 

And, as Delectable said, pregnant girls really are overly emotional. They take the smallest thing and bite your head off about it. Not that I can blame them really, if I was about to have another person explode out of me I would be emotional too.

[Guest]

Thanks for your responses the issue is solved he didn't look at it nearly as much we have had a long talk about it he understands that it wasn't so much the porn as it was the lying and hiding it from me when we shared everything else. He says he has no desire and I didn't ask him not to look at it again but he said after I was hurt overit he can swear he will never do it again and I trust this. Simply for the fact that I know how he would feel if I went behind his back to do something and then hid it and lied and he found out about it. I mean he got a little aggravated over me switching money from our savings to our checking to not bounce a check and it was $100 dollars but it was mainly because we didn't talk about it first. COMMUNICATION thats the whole issue and it's getting alot better. Again Thanks

[Delectable]

OK first off there are some things that I as well enjoyed in my life before him that I have given up as well but I don;t dwell on them or do them behind his back or lie about them

There is a huge difference between going out to a bar, drinking etc. and sitting alone in your house spanking your monkey. Now do I think he should be asking you not to go out...NO. If you are trustworthy he should be able to handle that. But his CRIME is something he is doing alone in his home and only involves his thoughts. How can you seriously have

feelings of jealousy

over a movie. Do you ever think a movie star is cute or hot. Should you be made to feel guilty for watching that actor. I understand there are a lot of women that have issues with Pornography ... but it really boils down to their own insecurities about themselves.

 

I have no problem with masturbation, just pornography

wow! You need to work on your self esteem. Seriously, he isn't trying to introduce it into your bedroom. So why do you have a problem with it if he is alone?

 

I feel it would be the equivalent of me posting nude pics online and if he wouldn't like me to do that

UM....excuse me...are you serious? How is him sitting alone watching a movie with people having sex the same as YOU posting nude pics online of yourself? PLEASE you gotta answer this for me?

 

if he wants to fantasize about a woman having sex with 5 men then why wouldn't he let me do it? That seems a little controlling on his part to me if it's ok to watch then he could watch me do it but no that would never fly now would it?????

WHAT? are you insane? You must be insane...... He has the right to fantasize about a woman having sex with 30 men...that doesn't mean YOU should be doing it.

 

Do you not understand the difference between fantasy and real life?

 

 

My beleif is that in every relationship there are problems and ppl have to compromise on things and some things can't be compromised on I have given up several things for him and I don;t regret it

Good and don't keep a score card. It shouldn't be tit for tat

 

after I was hurt overit he can swear he will never do it again

Break up now. He will watch it again. Save him the horror and shame of doing this.

 

 

This is krazy

[Guest]

i think alot of women dont want thier man watching porn.

even though it is a very common/normal thing.

all women want to feel like they are the sexiest thing thier man has ever laid eyes on and that they are all he fantasises about and no other w**k material is as great as her.

i know its virtually impossible to find a man who only lusts after the woman he's with but i rekon most women would rather their man didnt lust after n fantasize over other women n only her.

even some of the most beautiful stunning women out there want all their mans attention on them and not jacking off over another pussy.

ive had BF's who didnt like me to masturbate coz they were scared i was fantasizing about other men

yea fair enough some people go over board with jealousy but i dont think men really understand that it can be quite hurtfull for women and it does make you question your attractivness in thier eyes.

i used to be really jealous over porn and other women in the past but as ive got older it bothers me less now.

i bet alot of guys wouldnt be that happy if their woman was masturbating in secret over vids and magz of really gorgeous erect tanned studs. i think itd make any man question his attractivness of why his woman needs to pleasure herslef while imagining that big hard d**k she can c on video or in a mag rather then have a his real dick inside her.

[katherine123]

I hate to tell you this, but there is nothing wrong with men looking at porn. My boyfriend and I have sex 3-4x a week which is usually how often he wants it ( I want it more), but he does masturbate. The funny thing is he can get things moving by thinking of other women, but can only finish himself off when he thinks of me (he's told me this when we talked about it & about him doing it in front of me. That's pretty hot to watch, I think so anyways). By my standards, I think that's pretty freaking awesome that he thinks of me when he's doing it since he could fantasize about anyone he wants.

It's much better to have him masturbate to a tape, then have him bring a woman home and make a tape. Think of it like that. And if he starts to hide his porn from you like your mom and not his girlfriend, then you are in for one heck of a wake up call when he leaves you for a woman who isn't so insecure. And by the way, what is it about porn that you don't like??? I don't personally watch porn, but hey I don't want to rain on anyones parade.

[ronnieromance]

Princess, I'm going to be blunt. I think you should spend less time destroying his alternate sex life and more time learning where paragraphs should end and begin.

 

It will ultimately lend credibility to your side of the story when you go postal on your next man's porn collection...Which, by the way, you shouldn't do.

 

 

 

-R-

[jezabel]

It's much better to have him masturbate to a tape, then have him bring a woman home and make a tape.

No secure woman will accept anything from the fear that he will bring another women home if she doesn’t?

Why would any secure woman think that if she does not accept whatever he wants (no matter how much that hurts her), he would leave her for a woman who will???

 

I don’t see that a sign of security at all.

 

And also, I think this is very unfair to men too.

Men are not that shallow.

What would you think of a man who's left someone who loves just because she doesn’t like him watching porn?!

 

(Well, fair enough, if it’s so important to him than he should leave. And that would be a good thing. Why would she want to be with a man who places so high importance on porn? They are obviously so incompatible that there is no point of them staying together anyway.)

 

I think, it is never good to accept something just to keep your partner.

That’s so much different from compromising.

[jezabel]

I think I’m beginning to see the problem behind this:

 

- Men see a huge difference b/w lusting over other women in the pics (fantasy) and actually going out and doing something with the real women (reality).

- For women, that difference is not nearly as big – women feel: ‘if you want it so much, you might as well do it’.

 

I know a girl who actually went out and had sex with other men when she found out about her bf’s attraction to other women.

She thought:’ If he wants it so much, he will do it sooner or later. So, what’s the problem with me doing it now?’

[ridingthebulls]

who give s afig about porn. lucky he aint cheatin on your ass.

[Guest]

I have said this problem is resolved Thanks to all who support how I feel about this issue. And to those who don;t well whatever..... Maybe You should look on Dr. Phil's website and see what he says about the issue.. and the point to this whole thing is that I TOLD HIM HOW I FELT ABOUT THIS ISSUE THE FIRST NIGHT I MET HIM SO HE COULD WALK AWAY IF HE WANTED MAYBE YOU PPL THAT ARE SOOOOOO AGAINST HOW I FEEL DIDN"T READ THAT HE CHOSE NOT TO AND SAID IT WASN"T AN ISSUE FOR HIM, THEN I FIND IT AFTER THAT AND THAT MADE HIM A LIAR I ALSO HAD TOLD HIM HOW I FELT ABOUT LYING. POINT OF STORY HE COULD HAVE WALKED AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and HE CHOSE NOT TOO. So anyhow there will be no more pornography in my home of that I am sure and I'm sorry delectable but it isn't any different than him not asking me to do things I enjoy doing. he told me the things he didn't like on our first date too. Compromise is part of anyone's relationship. And before you keep giving ppl such harsh comments and that they are crazy I see that you are or were having relationship problems of your own so don;t be so harsh to other ppl. And as for the guy saying I'm lucky he hasn't cheated, thats part of the problem for me he has no reason for any of those things he has it made , he can't keep up with me he always does the turning down not me and I could use alot more he's lucky I didn;t cheat after finding all that and being turned down I really wanted to trust me I felt cheated. And I don;t know many women that give their men a BJ at the hospital the night after giving birth by C section and every night after that when she couldn't get anything in return, He has IT MADE I'm sorry but he does and he knows that if pornography is ever in my home again I'm gone if he wants to lose that well fine his loss not mine I"m the one not sexually satisfied but I"m not out cheating nor do I need to fantasize about other men, I will take what I can get from him because I love him and sex should be an intimate thing between 2 ppl. and it should be about the other person, and I don;t have much to gripe about there when it happens it's the best just wish it were more often but we are moving and stuff right now so it should be more often soon enough. But now so everyone knows our sex life I don;t see the point in him wasting that time when I am always up for it and my hope is that for every guy that is sooooooooo into this and needs it so much that your wife or SO has a headache every night, I could have it 4 or more times a day just not possible right now and I only want it with him and I just think he should feel the same about me. And I think he gets that now . But thanks to all those that understand this and how it feels.

[Delectable]

[deleted by moderator]

 

Maybe You should look on Dr. Phil's website and see what he says about the issue..

LOL HA HA HA HA HA HA HA what does he say that you should control your partners fantasies...puhleeze

 

I TOLD HIM HOW I FELT ABOUT THIS ISSUE THE FIRST NIGHT I MET HIM

Yes you told him how YOU felt about it....he never tried to include you in it. He respected how YOU felt about it. You didn't respect how he felt about it. [deleted] ...you even said that you wanted to introduce porn into the relationship...but under your conditions...he should leave you.

 

So anyhow there will be no more pornography in my home

THAT YOU KNOW OF...lol...and if not you will be driving him OUT of the house for it. Good luck with that one....as "DR PHIL" would say...let us know how that one works out for you...

 

I'm sorry delectable but it isn't any different than him not asking me to do things I enjoy doing

reading your original entry...yes it is...get therapy QUICKLY

 

I"m the one not sexually satisfied

ah...now we get to the root of the problem. YOU aren't sexually satisfied....so you need to control his fantasy life...lol...good luck

[norajane]

He has IT MADE

 

Men (and women) masturbate even if they're fully sexually satisfied by their partners. I've found that the more and better sex I'm having with my SO, the more I masturbate, and vice versa. It's a vicious cycle.

 

I"m the one not sexually satisfied but I"m not out cheating nor do I need to fantasize about other men, I will take what I can get from him because I love him and sex should be an intimate thing between 2 ppl. and it should be about the other person

 

Have you considered that you could take things into your own hands, so to speak, and sexually satisfy yourself? Can't hurt. Might help.

[ridingthebulls]

Thats just it he was turning me down to look at porn that was a BIG problem and I am available just about 24 hours a day he no longer wants me to work the only reason we are apart at all is because he is at work and the fact we haven't had the closing on our house then I will be with him all the time when he is home from work. But he was choosing porn over me. He turned me down several times then I found out he was doing that. and point being he knew from our first date it's not something I would like for him to do. Sorry I'm not signed in but I am the person that wrote this. It goes back to don;t make promises u can't keep as well, I haven't broken any I made to him and expect the same or it breaks trust.

 

Maybe you are making yourself TOO available. Show you have more interest in other things.. eventually he'll come around. You are not giving him much of a sensual "chase".

[KnowHowLoveFeels]

Delectable has a lot of sense in her, however harsh her words are. I don't think that Princess is ready to grow up and face reality just yet. That's a shame because many posters here have good advice!

[SmittenSexyKitten]

Delectable has a lot of sense in her, however harsh her words are. I don't think that Princess is ready to grow up and face reality just yet. That's a shame because many posters here have good advice!

 

Didn't start out harsh with this one...but got progressively so. At this point I am administring "Tough Love" but I agree a spoonful of sugar....yadda yadda yadda

 

[deleted] she literally posted

I feel it would be the equivalent of me posting nude pics online and if he wouldn't like me to do that which I know he wouldn't then why is it ok for him or lets see if he wants to fantasize about a woman having sex with 5 men then why wouldn't he let me do it?

I was going to say that she deserves our pity but I know that it is her man that needs it. A normal healthy man is quite capable of being loyal and faithful to one woman AND have a healthy sexual appetite which includes masturbation and fantasy.

 

This woman is psycho!

[Guest]

I think a great many posters on this thread need to go back and read the rules and guidelines of LoveShack... specifically "civility and respect".

"Personal attacks against other participants will not be tolerated under any circumstances. We define personal attacks as posted comments which are intended to provoke, demean, or ridicule another participant. It is inevitable that members will sometimes disagree in their responses to any given problem, and LoveShack.org encourages healthy debate comprised of constructive questions and criticisms, so long as they pertain to the post and thread at hand. Personal dislike of another member has no place in any post, on any thread."

Calling this woman a psycho (repeatedly) is NOT helpful advice. She has just as much right to post her feelings on this topic as the rest of us. I think it's a shame that even here, she can't feel as though she is free from such unnecessaryily evil judgment.

Every relationship is different... it is reasonable to assume that what works in one relationship might not work in another. If pornography is an issue for this person, and this issue was established in the beginning of a relationship and ultimately agreed upon... she has every right to be upset that the agreed upon terms are not being upheld.

[Guest]

I. The funny thing is he can get things moving by thinking of other women, but can only finish himself off when he thinks of me .

 

 

 

 

This is great material here... [deleted] I can't believe ANYONE would buy this... Let me guess... He's had a huge past (lots of gf's), but he's the love of your life and he would never hurt you right? Ha ha ha....

 

Would you beleive it if he said this?:

"I was screwing your sister, and the whole time I was thinking of her. When I finished in her and fertilized her womb with 16 ml of juice I was thinking of you... I love you!"

[SmittenSexyKitten]

Calling this woman psycho

is the same as calling a spade a spade