Should I tell my guy friend I am "feeling" him???

[Guest]

Well...I have a story for you all. I have been involved in a friendship for almost 1 year with a guy who I attends the same graduate school as I do. We met last summer and quickly started hanging out and gradually became closer by the time classes started in the fall. At this point, we already had a few phone conversations last more than 4 hours. This has happened several times throughout this school year. We would call each other for whatever reason and wind up talking for the rest of the night.

 

We went to his hometown together twice this school year. The first time we stayed at another classmate's apartment for a weekend. The second time we went, he invited me to his house for Thanksgiving. We had an entire week off. First off, he was done with his exams on that Friday. He waited for me until Monday so we could ride together although I have my own car. I spent the entire week with him and his family. While I was spending time with him during that week at the movies....he says that it seems to him that a few people want to be more than my friend...etc...and I avoided the comment because I freaked out. During that week, he mentioned that he would love to come home with me some time. He even told me that I am the only person in our class that gets to come home with him. He has also mentioned on the phone that he would get with one person in our class if she "played her cards right". (another comment I ignored)

 

Recently, we went to a conference together. Per his suggestion, we bought our plane tickets together, rented a car, and shared a hotel room for 5 days. He did not make a move physically on me during the trip. However, there was a guy who tried to talk to me while I was at a club with him and his cousin one night. I stepped outside the club to talk with this guy for about 10 minutes and wound up having to use this guy's cell phone to call my guy friend since he had the keys to the car (my cell phone was in our rental). He was obviously upset about it because we discussed this guy several times during the remainder of the trip. He teased me about it, and he also said he would have kicked him out the hotel room if I had invited this loser back to our hotel room. Also, he asked me if I had the guy's phone number. When I told him that he should have the guy's number in his cell phone, he frowned and said he deleted the guy's number from his phone and he didn't want any part of this dude. The whole trip was about him spending time with me. It's all we did. We didn't even go to any meetings for the conference. We partied, drank, and stayed up late talking every night we were together. We just really enjoyed each other's company during that time.

 

Many people think we are a couple at school, and nothing has happened. I was wondering if I should make a move on the guy since it's obvious he likes me. The only thing that has me hesistant is that many girls have a crush on him at school. He is a hottie. He is accustomed to women running behind him. There is one girl in particular I know he is spending time with as most likely a friends with benefits situation. He never talks about her to me. Honestly, I don't think he is comfortable talking about his involvement to her with me. The times I have seen him around her are definitely awkward and he definitely doesn't want me to hear anything he talks about with her. However, we discuss everything, and we are extremely close. He has been pretty open about his past with me and other girls that have been trying to date him. He has made it known to me he is single.

 

Should I make my interest in him known? Or should I leave it alone? Is it obvious to you guys that he is interested or am I being hopeful???

 

HELP!!!

[Javelin]

If you both are open as you say, why is it so hard to admit the facts?

[KnowHowLoveFeels]

The whole trip was about him spending time with me. It's all we did. We didn't even go to any meetings for the conference. We partied, drank, and stayed up late talking every night we were together. We just really enjoyed each other's company during that time.

 

RED FLAG #1: He has 2 lives. (Hint: neither of them is committed.)

 

Many people think we are a couple at school, and nothing has happened. I was wondering if I should make a move on the guy since it's obvious he likes me. The only thing that has me hesistant is that many girls have a crush on him at school. He is a hottie. He is accustomed to women running behind him. There is one girl in particular I know he is spending time with as most likely a friends with benefits situation. He never talks about her to me.

 

RED FLAGS #2,3,4, and 5: He has a bunch of girls running after him... and yet most people thing you are a couple? Does this make sense to you?? Furthermore, he is having a FWB and he doesn't want to talk to you about it?? What else am I missing here?

 

This is a PLAYER. He will not commit to any single girl... no matter how compatible you are together. In some ways, I'm sure you can sense this, otherwise you wouldn't have asked us.

 

Think aobut it: you have so much to offer. Why waste it on someone who has FWB on the side??

[dr2be]

Ok...I posted the original thread. I picked a user name. He is not a player. I realize that I am being vague. When I say girls are running behind him, I mean that there are a few females trying to have sex with him (in our class) and he is NOT interested. He does not even entertain their advances which is something we have discussed several times.

 

This other girl who I believe is a FWB is another story. The reason why I give her this label is because I have only seen them hang out at her place on the late night tip. He never goes anywhere in public with this female and she seems to be okay with that. It's not any of my business. He has not spoken on any thing between us so why should I hate on him if he is getting ass from someone who is too stupid to realize that she is being used? The main reason why I feel he may have chosen to get involved with this female is because she is not a part of our department. It keeps people out of his business. I know I wouldn't want everybody knowing who I was casually sleeping with, and this is a small community.

 

Now about him being a player....I guess I could see why you jump on that band wagon. A guy is gonna get away with things only if you let him....

I am not that type of female, and he knows that he wouldn't be able to play these type of games with me. This could be a reason why he hasn't been explicit in stating his feeling for me. However, I know that he recently (within the last 18 months or so) ended a 4 year relationship. He broke up with the girl because she was too clingy (among other things) and he is still friends with her. If he was a loser, I doubt this girl would still call him or have any contact with him. He is a nice guy. He is not the player type. If he is with someone, he is with her. He is single...so, I guess he is allowed to date/mate with whomever he chooses. Also...I know that every serious relationship he has been in began by the female approaching the subject with him. She tells him she is feeling him, and he decides whether he wants to get involved. I personally don't think he has the guts to level with me because he never had to do this before. He can make flirtatious comments and the female finishes the job for him because he is attractive and knows how to treat a lady. Some females are so desperate for any attention from a dude that this should work on most of us.

 

I am different. Either he will have to say...I like you and want us to start dating or I will have to confront his ass the next time something goes down and make him tell me what's up. I do think him spending so much time with me and inviting me home with him is a way to show me he does want to get to know me better and maybe we could have something. We are both stubborn and want the other person to admit it first...that way you miss the opportunity to get rejected.