Marylittlelamb Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 Hi, I'm new. I've been in an on again, off again long distance relationship for several months now. I've met my lover twice and things were fine and now she's getting to be too controlling and demanding. She's alot older then me so she thinks I should quit my job that I've had for a lot of years and just move to be with her. Not only does she want me to quit my job and move there but also do what she wants me to do as a profession. Three weeks ago we got back together after not talking for three months and she was very very loving toward me but now she's avoiding me and distancing herself. She has someone living in her area that she's kind of taken under her wing and I'm not jealous but I refuse to wait online for her to come home just to find out she's tired and don't want to talk. Anyone ever go through this? What should I do? Kisses Link to post Share on other sites
Guitar Wizard Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 Well, it all comes back to what you want. Look deep down and ask yourself how much do you love this girl? Do you love her enough to quit your job for her? Do you love her enough to move for her? No-one ever said long distance relationships are easy, in fact there are so many complications that if you have a good relationship flower from a LDR, it's nothing short of a miracle with a lot of hard work involved. Anyway, if you love her, be with her. If you want to wait a while, wait a while. If you want to talk to her more, tell her that you need to talk to her more, and that your feeling a little neglected. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Sardonyx Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 Sounds like you have been given a fair amount of warning. 1) She seems like a mother figure - she might be looking for a son. 2) She wants you to give up financial independence; are you sure if you want to go where you are not sure of a job? 3) Never move to live near a mate until it is certain you are ready to be married. Can you handle marriage right now? Do you know enough of this lady to see if you can cope with her moods and attitudes? What are her reasons for loving you? Why is she not involved with someone her age or older? Do not be blind. She may be great, but it sounds like you do not have enough knowledge of her to commit. It is required that you date at least two years before settling down. The first year should be non-sexual (and you would be surprised to see that abstinence makes marriages last). Spend some time just being friends. Do non-intimate things together. After about six months, begin casual dating (no hanky panky) Link to post Share on other sites
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