Guest Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 This isn't about an LDR as such - but my crush is living in America and I really would love somebody to please give me some advice on the following... My friend left the UK and moved over to America a year ago and has since started a fabulous new life. I recently got in contact with him and we hooked up over the internet and have talked on numerous occasions. It was not until very recently that we realized we both had a mutual crush on each other 4 years ago - we were both with other partners at the time, although we were secretly craving to be with each other. I am on the verge of completing my studies in the UK and can just about live with all this - we're both sad that nothing came of it but both realize that it is afterall all in the past. My problem now is, I plan to go backpacking for a few months within the next year or so and I naturally feel tempted to go over there and see him. Judging by the tone of our flirty little conversations, I have an incling that something will come of it and I'm terrified of getting my heart broken and having any potential LDR baggage left over from my trip. Also, he has just started a new relationship and if they're still together next year, I'm afraid of getting in the way of what they have - or even going over there, wanting something to happen and for it to be a disappointment. Don't know whether this matters, but there's a 7 year age gap between us and he keeps telling me intimate details about how he used to feel about me... Is this a good sign or is he just a plain old flirt?! Obviously, as nothing has happened yet, the idea of it becoming a long distance relationship is pretty extreme - although it does remain conceivable, I guess. Any advice would be absolutely great - do I go and see him and risk major heartbreak or just accept that I'm never going to see him again and risk losing him forever??? Link to post Share on other sites
debjenkins Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 If he was single I would have told you outright to take a chance and go over to see him. That's what I did and even though the long distance thing is tough I know I've found 'the one' - and i never thought i would say that about anyone!!! I think you need to have a little more real contact with him to see where he is at, even if just im'ing or google talk you will be able to get a much better idea of how he really feels about you. Hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
john2776 Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Don't even think about getting into ANY LDR unless you believe he is truly your 'one and only'. Given that he has a girlfriend right now - the timing is not right. Timing is very important in relationships, and if you start off a relationship with him while he still has a girlfriend, then it could change the whole shape of the final outcome. Just leave it for now and keep him as a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
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