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Do actions speak louder than words?


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monkeychops

I am totally confused, my husband left me 7 weeks ago tomorrow for another woman (well not so sure about that!).. BUT he hasn't taken any of his stuff, he still has the keys to the flat, his post still comes to our home.

About 3 weeks ago, he would email me saying he wanted to collect his stuff he came round without a suitcase and left with nothing.. since he saw me I have been received really nice emails. All of them saying nothing about collecting his things or sorting out the mortgage etc...which is what he was like before hand.

He also talks to my mum, to which my Mum asked him is this a closed book and he replied watch this space... & says he is going to ring my Dad... Does anyone have any ideas? help........... feel like I am going mad.

 

I am currently doing the NC, so I can get stronger and cope with this suituation. Just would appreciate some advice, other than pack his stuff up and kick him out as I don't want to do that.. I love him dearly and think he still loves me too.

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You should either have a yard sale and sell all his belongings or else put them in storage. This won't hurt him a small fraction of the amount he is hurting you and it might be therapeutic for you. Or you can hide all lhis belongings at your mom's house for a while so that he will know that you are taking his actions seriously and he can't play games that in the meanwhile hurt you so much.

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whichwayisup

He needs to s*** or get off the pot. Honestly? I think he is stringing you and his OW along until HE decides WHO he wants.

 

And ofcourse, him being nice to you, not mentioning him taking (or not taking) his stuff, is just a way of keeping the door open a crack.

 

If you want him back, tell him that you're going to talk to a Lawyer. Atleast this way SOMETHING will happen. You can't go on in limbo like this, waiting to see if he is going to choose you or her. That's very unfair and selfish of him. If he wants OUT, then end it and move on...And if he is indecisive, keep on going NC, live your life, go and date other men casually. Maybe if he sees that you're going on without him, he'll come back and want to try to fix the marriage, go to counselling etc.

 

In the meantime, don't throw out his stuff, just put it all in boxes and if you have the space, put it all in your basement so it's out of sight.

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