TrainsandPlanes Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Ok... so I am not sure how long this is going to be but I will try my best to be straight to the point. First I want to say "thanks" to those who are willing to help me out. Much advice is appreciated! For starters... about 1 year ago, I met this guy at my workplace. Started out by me noticing him notice me. Stares here and there... just the "signs" you would get from someone who likes you. Also, I am 25, he is 33. I became interested in him just because of the attention I was getting from him and also because he is one of the most gorgeous men I have ever encountered. He looks much like Nick Lachey! Anyhow... we started emailing each other. I am the one who initiated it because he had kept bugging me about joining the gym where he is a personal trainer on the side. Since the very first email... which has started about 1 year ago... things have somehow gradually increased. In our emails, we never really "let it out" that we wanted one another. I got hints from him here and there. He would compliment me on little things. His birthday came around and I wished him a happy b-day and he wanted to know what I would give him.... I asked him what he wanted and he told me that we should go have a drink together... he would like that. We never did... yet. After a little while... same old stuff, emailing and flirting. Whenever I saw him he would come up to me and just basically talk to me and get to know me. Things stopped for a while because my grand-father passed away and I became depressed over it and didn't talk to my crush for a few months. I got over him until one day out of the blue he emails me to ask how I am doing. We started back with the emailing. It would only be one or two emails maybe every so often... but he always seemed so happy to hear from me. So one day he mentioned the drink thing again but still no plans. It used to be that he only would do some "one-liners" with me when emailing, but just last week and this week, we have been emailing each other numerous times throughout the day. Letting me know of some of his personal things, like purchases he has made in the last week. He has hardly EVER asked me a question in him email but now all day he will ask me a question along with a response in his email to me. And now he says that YES he wants to go out for a drink. HE wants me to find a time and whatever works for me to see if it works with his schedule. Now, this is where it gets interesting.... I found out that he is married! His friend knows about our "flirting" but he has been a cheater also. His friend has even brought up the "going our for drinks" thing because my crush must've been either shy or hesitant... but my crush was all smiles when the friend asked me. What exactly is going on here? Have I crossed the line? Has he? Even though I just found out he is married? Even though we haven't done ANYTHING sexual or even touched each other for the matter??? Is it ok to go for drinks just as "friends"??? Is this an emotional affair I am in? I have never been in this situation before.... I like him so much! But now things have been ruined. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 OFcourse he has crossed the lines! He is married and I'm sure his wife wouldn't like it if she found out he was flirting and making plans to go out with another woman. I know you like him, but he is offlimits because he is married. Plus, imagine if YOU were his wife...Don't think you'd like to find out that your husband (or boyfriend) was trying to befriend another woman, and emailing alot. You haven't done anything wrong, yet. But if you decide to go for a drink with him, you are opening the door to future meetings and it could lead into something else. Does he have children too? Link to post Share on other sites
TrainsandPlanes Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Does he have children too? I don't know but I think he has been married for 5 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Well, he's definately looking for a woman on the side and you're definately showing signs of loneliness. I'm assuming he can sense this and he's pretty good with words if you're feeling this way. The big problem here is: You're single and he's married. Married man = Red Lights = STOP! For your own sake, back off, please. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Please don't do it. Stop the whole thing right now. I would either just not contact him anymore without even so much as an explaination, or if you feel he deserves one then tell him you found out he was married and you're not into that kind of thing. If he tries to tell you he just wanted to go out for drinks, please know thats how things could possibly lead to more. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Children or not, he isn't yours for taking. Even if you are flattered by him, turned on by him...He's not up for grabs! Though he IS offering himself up, say NO! Please, think of his wife. And please go read some threads in the OW/OM section, maybe reading what others have gone through will stop you. And then go read some threads in the infidelity section, find out about the pain inflicted and the mess that the betrayed spouse has to deal with when they find out their partner cheated on them... Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Now, this is where it gets interesting.... I found out that he is married! You mean that's where things got lame. If you don't stop talking to the dude, you're lame too. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 best thread title ever Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts