Ugh, so tired of getting jacked around

[Roarz]

If you want the full story it's all on other posts I've made, but the past few weeks my ex has suddenly been extremely flirty with me (A month after her bf broke up with her, and 6 months of hard NC from me). Not the kind of flirting that I think is flirting just because I'm hopeful, the kind that's obvious to everyone (she comes to my dorm room and knocks on my window to ask me out to eat with her and her friends). At the end of that "flirty night" she told me to "call her this summer if I was ever bored" as if to invite me to something more. So I figured that 6 month NC and distance had been long enough and if she wanted to try again then I'd also have to be willing. So I called her up a week later and asked if she wanted to do anything and she said yes (I figured that this would be good sign number 1...girl + guy out alone = date).

 

So before the day in question she calls me and asks me if I'm "sure I want to do something tommorow and if I'm already busy it's ok". Should have been a red flag for nicely saying she was having second thoughts, but I just said no, I still wanted to.

 

So on the day in question I get to her house, ready to go somewhere with her, when she tells me she "doesn't have any money to pay for herself so she suddenly doesn't want to go anywhere." But she invites me in anyway to stay for a while. All that sudden flirty energy seemed to have vanish. She acted more like just a friend. No more of the tickling, compliments, or teasing she had given me the one other night we saw each other (which was with her friends). All we did was give her dogs a bath. After that we sat down on the couch and talked about random crap (and she kept apologizing over and over for it being so boring, which was kind of annoying). She asked me if I was dating anyone, which could have been interepreted as a good sign, but then was followed up by her saying something about her kickboxing teacher who she thought "when I saw her I thought she'd be a good match for you." After that she started going through her stuff she brought home from college. About 2 minutes into that I realized that I was bored out of my mind and that this was not going the way I wanted it, so I told her that if that's all she's gonna do then I'd leave. So I did, without a hug this time.

 

WTF is up with this sudden change? I don't know why she would be so forceful to make contact with me, act like such a flirt, ACCEPT an invitation to go somewhere with me, alone, and then all of a sudden do a 180 and act like that. I know people say second chances happen all the time, but how the hell are you supposed to know when it's happening? I asked all close friends about that "flirty" night, and they all said she was sending me signals. So what am I supposed to do when even getting signals I'm wrong? I guess I'm just tired of being bs'ed around by her. Maybe it is just an ego game to her...all I know is I did what I was supposed to do based on the signals and still got burned and I won't do it a second time. I guess this is just a lost cause. Not sure why I posted this, maybe just to vent...but if you have any insight on this crap it would be much appreciated.

[gfto]

WTF is up with this sudden change? I don't know why she would be so forceful to make contact with me, act like such a flirt, ACCEPT an invitation to go somewhere with me, alone, and then all of a sudden do a 180 and act like that.

 

Ex-gfs do this all the time.

 

Maybe it is just an ego game to her.

 

Bingo.

 

if you have any insight on this crap it would be much appreciated.

 

When you go with hard NC, as you did for 6 months, they can't jack you around.

[dr strangelove]

I seem to remember and ex with a guys name doing something similar.

 

Ignored her, she would call out of the blue. Didnt have call display back then. I would just say I gotta go. Finally we went on a date.to see an awful movie..tried to get a hug after she wouldnt oblige I rode off.

 

I guess within a few weeks or so, she caleld again wanting to show me some place she had. I think it went ok, she asked me to call I guess I didnt.

 

So chances are this confused little person will contact you again. Thoughts

How about asking her to go for a walk? something u dont have to spend money to go on a date. You could even try calling her and saying "Sorry about leaving that day, you werent boring I just felt kind of sick."

 

You have to try out different stuff with women. I had one girlfriend break up with me in the morning, by evening I had keys to her place, she was waiting for me in her bed. So..

 

Try that you werent boring me angle, that will probably make her very happy to hear that. Or wait..your call. I wouldnt let stop me though, but thats me.

99% of the time I dont give a rats ass and somehow that works

 

ps you could have took rover for a walk or.. used those suds to your advantage..opps im/your all wet have to get out of those clothes.

 

btw junior statistics show that women are more sexually interested when

 

1) after exercise

2) after a shower

 

One time I went for ride with this girl and when ended up getting caught in the rain.. reality is I wanted that to sort of happen. That day was the first day I got to hug her...

 

Maybe we should have strangeloves guide to women.. hmm

 

perhaps I know nothing after all.....you decide

- s.l.

[Roarz]

I really wish it was like that, but no...later on that night I went onto her myspace and found a blog she had written the day before after she had talked to him after a month professing her great love for the boyfriend that broke up with her. How she thought she would never get over this person and how she can't understand why if he says "he still loves her" why it has to be this way. In her mind he is taking some noble path by saying he doesn't want a long distance relationship with her and doing it for the best for both of them, even though he still "loves and misses her". All this over a 4 month relationship that was long distance the entire time . Give me a break.

 

So it really was just a big ego trip. While I regret that I ever gave it to her, I'm glad I finally got it out of my system. No more wondering about whether or not she will change. She won't, so from now on I'm not going to hesitate to ignore her.