different time

[Scott]

don't want to get into the whole mars and venus thing. but there is such a marked difference between the way men and women react in the face of adversity

 

women,even the ones who are strong and self sufficent, tend to want/need the one they love with them...to be held and kept safe and assured that everything will be ok

 

men tend to want to be alone. perhaps it is because they would rather not have anyone witness their weakness...

 

at least that is what i witness day to day..and of course both seem to think that the opposite sex wants what they want...

 

when the man a woman loves is hurt, laid off, shocked with bad news..she will fly to his side, if at all humanity possible. she will want to be there to look after him, take care of his every need, comfort him, hold him, just be there for him (what she would want if it were her)...and often this seems to irritate the man...

 

when the woman a man loves is hurt, laid off, shocked with bad news..life goes on for him, or so it seems. perhaps initial gestures are made, perhaps sympathy is offered.

 

is this a fundamental difference in the way we are, or perhaps i'm generalising too much?

 

Personally, i have yet to have the man i love (or perhaps i'm just unlucky)drop everything and run to my side when i need him. there have only been two occasions to date, and so far he's batting 0 for 2

 

and likewise, when i think we needs me most, he somtimes pushes me away. hides within himself. goes into total denial.

 

i wonder if this is just the way we are or if it is a sign that he doesn't love me....

[darcy071]

Your statement was well written and accurate to a point. I am a male who is going through a relationship where the opposite idea applies. I do agree that in most cases the mars, venus thing does apply. I know for myself i react with more emotion that most men. I know that as human being we are mad up of both male and female hormones, and the attitude you are talking about is prodominently a male characteristic. This male, female differance creates more relationship problems than enough. I think men are in most cases slightly less evolved then women are at this time. I dont think this is true with all men, but in reality we need to improve.

[Amber]

don't want to get into the whole mars and venus thing. but there is such a marked difference between the way men and women react in the face of adversity women,even the ones who are strong and self sufficent, tend to want/need the one they love with them...to be held and kept safe and assured that everything will be ok men tend to want to be alone. perhaps it is because they would rather not have anyone witness their weakness... at least that is what i witness day to day..and of course both seem to think that the opposite sex wants what they want... when the man a woman loves is hurt, laid off, shocked with bad news..she will fly to his side, if at all humanity possible. she will want to be there to look after him, take care of his every need, comfort him, hold him, just be there for him (what she would want if it were her)...and often this seems to irritate the man... when the woman a man loves is hurt, laid off, shocked with bad news..life goes on for him, or so it seems. perhaps initial gestures are made, perhaps sympathy is offered. is this a fundamental difference in the way we are, or perhaps i'm generalising too much?

 

Personally, i have yet to have the man i love (or perhaps i'm just unlucky)drop everything and run to my side when i need him. there have only been two occasions to date, and so far he's batting 0 for 2 and likewise, when i think we needs me most, he somtimes pushes me away. hides within himself. goes into total denial. i wonder if this is just the way we are or if it is a sign that he doesn't love me....

I am still a very young and very nieve female, but in my experience and witnesses I think that its not that males dont comfort or tend to a womens needs its just that sometimes in most cases they need to be reminded or hinted to. The majority of my friends are male. Its always been like that for me and they have taught me alot. Men just think that women will cope with their problems as they would. Men have alway be refered to as the stronger sex. Im not saying they are but its just that they dont show their weakness like females do. They want to continue to look strong and well rounded. So its not that he dosnt love you, its just that he is refering to you as himself. He just fails to realize that your in the need of some TLC. And maybe its partially your falt, only because of the way you go about your weakness, how you present it. I think that maybe you need to be a little more open with your relationship, but I may be wrong. I might have mis understood and if I did I apoligise. Its only my opinion.

[Samantha]

I think it might be even more simple than that.

 

Men are problem solvers. Women are venters. Guys let you talk about it a couple of times and think you're looking for a solution, and they'll give you an answer (when in fact you really only want them to listen). If you continually talk about the problem with a man over and over again, they'll get confused and wonder why you're looking for them to repeat themselves when they've already given you and answer/solution. Then they think you're crazy.

 

When a women talks to a man, she wants him to just shut-up, listen, offer sympathy,overanalyze the problem with her, hold her ... maybe even help her see that there could be many different answers/solutions. Basically, just let her vent. For example, when a woman goes through a breakup, she'll talk to her female friends for days on end. She'll repeat herself over and over again. Her friends will just listen and will overanalyze with her. When a man has a broken heart, they'll talk to their guy friends about it once, maybe twice, the friend will offer a solution, and then they're done. That's why women move on and can get over things quickly, and men come back 6 months later. They don't talk about it until it's dead and get it all out of their system like women do.