Louisee Posted May 14, 2006 Share Posted May 14, 2006 Firstly, I'll say hello I have an amazing friend who i think the world of. We're not in a relationship but we do have a 'special' friendship, ie, we sleep together, etc. He has a high profile job so he literally gets women throwing themselves at him. He always tells me how beautiful i am and i'm ok when he gives me lots of attention (typical woman hey!) but when i see these girls in action, ie flirting, sending him messages, writing about him on the internet... it really kills me. Drives me mad even more if he replies, even though its always innocent. I recently had a dream that he slept with one of these girls and i just cant get it out of my head. It left me totally distraught and i couldnt think about him, its like i thought the dream was real or a premonition. I feel so pathetic! My friend is really sweet and has never been with any of these kind of girls before, so i know its an issue i have rather than him. If he doesnt contact me for a few days, my mind goes into over drive thinking that he must have found someone else, he doesnt want me anymore etc etc. He always has reasonable explanations for why he hasnt been in contact but i just cant accept them, i think its just an excuse because he doesnt want me. Its a really unhealthy way to feel and i feel this needs to be stopped before i 1) take it out on him (which ive been very close to doing) 2) driving him away by my insecurities. In a way i cant imagine life without him, be it a friend or whatever, so maybe its because im so scared of losing him? But the more i act like this i sometimes think maybe its best for him not to be in my life? (I obviously want a relationship with him, before someone asks that ) Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBomb Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 He will continue to sleep with you without emotion unless you lay out that you need a relationship. At that point three things could happen: 1. He dates you because he realizes he wants you. 2. He dates you because he wants to keep having sex with you. 3. Your relationship ends. #1 is not very likely from what I've seen... it's possible... but not typical. If he's a coward, he will likely do #2. And you have to be prepared to accept #3 when you lay this out. While your jealousy makes sense... you are not his girlfriend. Oh... and what's his job? I've been told my job is rather high profile... and no women throw themselves at me because of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 Hi, it seems to me that you are obviously just a shag to him so if you are not in a real relationship with him, you probably should not be acting the way you are. If he really means something to you and obviously he does, i think you should tell him and if he feels the same way- you can have a real relationship and be committed to each other. I'm a girl and i think its harder for a girl to have sex without feeling attached unless its a one night thing, guys on the other hand are more prone to just using girls as a root. I think you need to tell him how you feel.. Link to post Share on other sites
SweetPea80 Posted May 20, 2006 Share Posted May 20, 2006 Louisee, When you start off as "casual" with a man ex. friends with benefits, it is really hard to turn things into something serious. I have been in situations like yours and I ended up wanting more and the guy just didn't take me seriously because we started off as friends with benefits. Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted May 20, 2006 Share Posted May 20, 2006 Well, you know that you are no more than a booty call. Sorry for being crass, but why are you putting yourself in this kind of situation? Why would any guy want to buy the cow when they can get the milk for free?? Link to post Share on other sites
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