dprelz Posted May 14, 2006 Share Posted May 14, 2006 10 months ago when it happened, I was - completely shocked, surprised, sad, depressed - thinking about her 24/7 - I wanted to marry her (shes my first true love) Between that time and now, we have gone on various lengths of NC (initiated by me) and have talked and talked about the past, and what happened when we had the chances. Apparently she feels really guilty for what she did. I suspect it was a case of the ‘grass is greener’ theory, because she left him after 1 ½ months. However, I don’t if she dated anyone since then, or pretty much anything in between that time and now. We’ve been talking again, I still care for a lot, and would want to be intimate with her just to see if that would spark our love again. She hasn’t visited me in my new apt yet. Here are my problems; I want to show her I’ve matured and can handle real responsibilities. Cooking, cleaning, bills, balance of work and a social life. But I don’t want to make it seem like I’m trying just to impress her, or that I’ve done all these things just for her. I want to try again, but the dynamic has changed so much in the sense that I second-guess my actions now. Before when we first started dating, I would initiate sex or plan out the day. Now I fear the vibe that I’m just a perverted ex boyfriend that is sexually deprived. Or that she thinks I’m going to want to propose to her after we sleep together. Which is ridiculous, but I bet that’s she is scared or feeling pressured about. So how the hell can I do this? I want to make sure we know what happened in the past, but I don’t want to be constantly reminded her of what she did. She ripped my f***ing heart out, and she has felt guilty everyday. She feels so guilty she didn’t want to talk to me, she felt she didn’t deserve it. (Or that could be a huge steaming pile of bulls*** masking the real reasons why she hasn’t physically seen me for 6 months) Should I just come out and ask her if she wants dinner at my house? Should I just be really friendly with her and go by her signals; replying to text messages only when she sends one first. By the way, I kind of respect her a lot less and deep down I am still really angry that she would do that to me when she knew I loved her ridiculously and unconditionally. I have no self-esteem problem like I did right after. If this doesn’t work, I will live. Now how do I give out that vibe without looking like a dickhead? With the description I gave above, what would you say is the best approach? I don’t want to keep thinking about her memory and the past. I want to try and see what it’s like if we did date again or, never talk to her again. I need to do this! Thanks!! Link to post Share on other sites
MTK Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 I can't offer you any real advice coming off my own mess of her dumping me for a new guy just days later after we were pretty much best friends/dating for 4 years; I only want to wish you the best of luck and I hope it works out. Don't bring up the relationship with the guy, and don't be mad at her -or at least vocally/visually. You can look at it like this; 1) She went out, got burned, and she's coming back to you possibly for good. 2) You're obviously good enough that she's coming back to you (congrats in that regard!). Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Mistaken Identity Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 I'm stuck on the part where you've lost a lot of respect for her. Hmmm...Do you think you will regain it? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts