How freakin' immature!!

[Tim'sAngel]

Yah I know I've been in a bad rut lately, living too fast for my own good. And I want to be done playing stupid games because it's not healthy and I understand that. I don't know why I like it but when it comes down to it I just end up confused I guess it's just that whichever guy calls me I'll go hang out with them because all my guy friends are fun just to hang out with, but sometimes it's hard having guys as just friends and I realize that.

 

Women like attention, plain and simple. (myself included :-) What we chose to do with that attention is up to us. There will always be guys around to give us attention and make us feel sexy and have a good time with, but you don't have to end up in someones bed or keep playing there immature games because in the end, you end up just like them, and your better than that.

 

You deserve the best there is but you won't get that if you spend your time playing around with people that will ruin your reputation

[Tim'sAngel]

Yah I can see that pattern. I do like getting attention from guys and not to be conceided but I get it alot and it makes me uncomfortable actually to where I start to disrespect myself in a way. So I guess the question is how can I get guys to like me for the real me and not the way I look, because some guys give me the look that it's all they want (sex)

 

For a start, lose the F buddies. They will not want a relationship w/you. Why buy the cow when the milk is free?

 

How do I know a bad guy from a good guy? I just don't want them thinking, "oh she looks naive I can get with her" from just they way I look.

 

If you act like a lady, men will know, there will be no question in his mind.

 

I do think I have a problem dodging guys especially bad guys because I'm friendly to everyone, that's just the way I am.

 

I've heard this line before. In fact, I've used it myself. There is a difference between being friendly and being flirty. If you know a guy is just trying to get you in bed, then you don't have to be friendly to him, polite but not friendly, otherwise he will keep after you until you do end up in his bed.

 

Sorry there are so many posts, I keep posting and then seeing stuff i've missed. hehe

[justagirliegirl]

No wonder nobody replies to your threads... you're sarcastically rude to everyone you reply back to....and you're mature?? Get a clue b***h

 

I must have hit a sore spot! You replied twice! :lmao:

 

I'm not the one letting every tom, dick, and harry f*** me.

 

I agree with what b_o said. These guys don't want to be your friend. They just want to f*** you.

[No Stress Lady]

One night I was at a club with my friends and this guy (John) that really likes me called me and ended up meeting me there. Well saw this other guy (Darren)(that I like) and went up to him while I was standing there with (John). Well they both know each other, so I didn't want to start anything right there. Later on (Darren) left the club so I was hanging out with (John), when (Darren) called and asked if I want to meet him at another club, so of course since I like (Darren) better I told him I would, with (John) standing right there. Anyways to make a long story short me and John were walking out to my car because he wanted to go with me wherever I was going, but I knew Darren (and I) wouldn't want him around so I told him I was going to go meet him at the other club so he got mad and got out of my car to meet his friend to take him home. WELL after I spent the night at Darren's house, the next morning we walked out to my car and there was a freakin hamburger smeared all over my car! I was so pissed and Darren couldn't believe it, and asked if I had a stalker! I said no not that I know of but the only other person I could think of that knows where he lives is John. The other night I asked John about it and he denied it, BUT I could tell he kinda slipped up some info without me even asking , like he said , what you think I went to his house, before I even accused him of doing it. I told my friend about it and she thinks it was him too. Well I've been talking to John alot more lately because now I sorta want him as a bf but I'm still hung up about that night so I don't know what I should do, just forget about it? I still like (Darren) though but it's hard when they both know each other, but they don't like each other either. The difference between them is that (Darren) is hot and the bad type boy because of things he does, BUT he's always been there for me and a really nice genuine guy. (John) is a good guy but doesn't give me that thrill that (Darren) does. So I'm kinda in a bind about these two guys , I know (John) wants me to be his gf cause he asked me, but I'm not sure about (Darren) I'm kinda scared to ask him about wanting more than just friends with him. So any help on this would be great, thanks

Sorry if this was confusing, I used paranthesis because the names are different lol.

 

That post reminds me of Vicky Pollard :lmao:

[vi_pn_babe25]

I must have hit a sore spot! You replied twice! :lmao:

 

I'm not the one letting every tom, dick, and harry f*** me.

 

I agree with what b_o said. These guys don't want to be your friend. They just want to f*** you.

 

maybe cuz no one will f**k you so f**k off bitc* forums are supposed to help people not ridicule them so go back to kindergarten where you belong. you're the one (the only one that I've come across on this site) that started off on the bad foot by replying to me with no respect.

[vi_pn_babe25]

That post reminds me of Vicky Pollard :lmao:

 

and whoever the hell that might be

[vi_pn_babe25]

Women like attention, plain and simple. (myself included :-) What we chose to do with that attention is up to us. There will always be guys around to give us attention and make us feel sexy and have a good time with, but you don't have to end up in someones bed or keep playing there immature games because in the end, you end up just like them, and your better than that.

 

You deserve the best there is but you won't get that if you spend your time playing around with people that will ruin your reputation

 

I guess I'm going through a weird phase right now that has to end. One of the reason's why I think I'm acting the way I am is that I was with my ex bf for almost 5 years from when I was 18-23 yrs-old. So I look back and think that I missed out on all those times where I could've been having fun being young and single. I think now that I'm scared or not ready to get back into a relationship because I want to look at all my options before I jump into anything serious. I don't know if that makes sense but I think that's why I'm acting the way I am. I certainly don't want to ruin my reputation especially if 2 of the guys know each other. And no the f buddy is a different guy. But you're right I need probably to drop all the guy bullsh**t for now and work on myself first before I start to date any guy. I guess I'm worried I'll lose friendships when I do that or lose potential good guys buy avoiding them, well the good guys that I know of. Right now I need to focus on my career as an agent and someday the "right" guy will fall into place on it's own

 

Another note: I'm willing to be criticized because I'm putting myself/problems out there for anyone to read, and I'm willing to listen to anyone's opinion and advice but not when someone's trying to be just plain ignorant, but what goes it around comes around. I'm talking about a "few" people on this post I'm sure it's obvious!

Thanks Tim'sAngel, blind_otter and even catgirl

[vi_pn_babe25]

Sand&Water and penkitten aren't bad either lol

 

I appreciate your time peeps!

[Tim'sAngel]

I guess I'm going through a weird phase right now that has to end. One of the reason's why I think I'm acting the way I am is that I was with my ex bf for almost 5 years from when I was 18-23 yrs-old. So I look back and think that I missed out on all those times where I could've been having fun being young and single.

 

In the end when you look back, you will see that being in a relationship, even if it didn't work out, you will have better memories then than you will looking back at your life remembering being in this bed w/this guy on that day and being w/this other guy in his bed the next day and...

 

I think now that I'm scared or not ready to get back into a relationship because I want to look at all my options before I jump into anything serious.

 

It's ok if you don't want to be in a relationship, even wise. They definately shouldn't be taken lightly, but that doesn't mean in the meatime its ok to be used like a doormat for guys who just wanna get there groove on.

 

I don't know if that makes sense but I think that's why I'm acting the way I am. I certainly don't want to ruin my reputation especially if 2 of the guys know each other. And no the f buddy is a different guy. But you're right I need probably to drop all the guy bullsh**t for now and work on myself first before I start to date any guy. I guess I'm worried I'll lose friendships when I do that or lose potential good guys buy avoiding them, well the good guys that I know of.

 

Your not losing friends, you're losing guys who just want to score. In one of your posts you said that one guy really cares for you because you can call him anytime and he checks on you or something like that, but I bet if you cut off the play time, you would start to hear less and less from him. Sure they are gonna act like they "care" about you, are they supposed to be rude to you? Of course not, they wouldn't get any nooky if they did. And F buddies are not potentual boyfriends. I have had lots of F buddies and not one of them wanted to date me.

 

Right now I need to focus on my career as an agent and someday the "right" guy will fall into place on it's own

 

Sounds like a good plan, but you have to do more than say it. You have to put action behind your words!!

[vi_pn_babe25]

The relationship with my ex wasn't a very good relationship, yah we lasted for awhile, but in the end it was a very destructive. I should've gotten help after I broke up with him like my mom told me to do but I never did, and I think if I did get help at the time I wouldn't be in the relationships/situation I'm in now. I guess I've yet to find a decent guy. I had to get a restraining order on my ex after we broke up because he was threatening me. The guy after him that I dated also stalked me when I broke it off with him, and had to go the police station to get an order against him. Both guys physically and verbally abused me, not the whole time I was with them but once or even twice was enough for me to leave them. At any rate, you're still right about looking back and regretting the fact that I was irresponsible with my own body.

 

 

It's weird because I have good self-esteem and I have confidence in myself but when it comes to guys, I don't know what they think, they can tell that I have confidence but they seem to think they can still get away with getting me in bed. and yes that is partially my fault for letting it happen.

 

 

You're right but how do I know if they just want to play or if they want a real relationship with me, I guess I get confused on what they really want from me. yah that one guy that I said who makes sure I'm safe I feel is a good guy, although I'm still trying to figure him out. you see I met him last thanksgiving, we've hung out ever since then as friends, talked on the phone quite often , the only reason why I don't believe he's just out to bang me is that we didn't end up having sex (I initiated) until last month. So we knew each other for a long time before we slept with each other. We haven't talked as often as we have in the past, which I'm hoping

he doesn't think that's all I want from him. So I can respect him in sense that he has never pressured me into having sex. I still don't know what his intentions are, we're still friends, but I'm kind of afraid of asking him, because we've been friends for so long. Unlike my f buddy, we were actually friends for a long time before having sex. what should I do about him?

 

I know I'm going to try really hard believe me!!

[Tim'sAngel]

I'm sorry to hear about the abusive relationships!! You did the right thing though. Most of the time when you hear about abusive relationships for some reason the women seem to stay in them.

 

Ok, so the guy that cares about you doesn't call you as much as before since you guys have slept together. Is that what your saying? Maybe I'm wrong but thats what I got. If that is the case I'm totally not surprised

 

Let me tell you a little story about me.

 

I moved to southern Cali with my dad 2 days after my graduation. My parents had separated a few months before that (a huge blow to me) and I had been fighting alot w/my mother. We were both devastaed over the separation and both suffering from depression. Once I got to Cali, I went crazy!! I partied and smoked and f***ed my way through the next year.

 

One night at the hot tub in our apt complex, several people were in there talking and this guy, very well built, came in and started doing laps in the pool. I snuck a few looks at him thoughout the conversation. It was still chilly that time of year so the pool was really cold and he got in the hot tub to warm up. I wasn't initially all that attracted to him, but we struck up a conversation. Everyone else got out and we were still talking. The more and more we talked, the more attracted to him I was. He mentioned that he had a honda street bike and asked if i wanted to ride. i said yes and we rode out to a secluded beach and walked and kissed in the moonlight, very romantic. We ended up going back to his apt and had crazy wild sex. This started a 3 month period of crazy sex. Problem was, i totally fell for him. He made me feel like I mattered, like he really wanted to know all I had to say. we would lay in bed and talk for hours. I had made it clear in the very begining that I did not want a relationship, just someone to be around when I was horny. I would sleep over at night and hang out while he was at work, then we'd hang out and play video games or watch movies during the day. It seemed perfect until I realized what thenmistake I had made. now all he saw me as was a f buddy and I wanted him to want a relationship w/me sooo bad! but I had already made the mistake and knew I couldn't say anything. Well, as f relationships go, it started phazing out, we would see each other about 4 times a month, then 2, then once every other month or so. I know for a fact if i would have just waited and not jumped right in his bed, I would have had a chance w/him. I really loved him.

 

Now just to clarify, I am so in love with my SO, and have absolutely no regrets whatsoever. I couldn't be happier now!! But I spent about 5 months severely depressed that I had lost someone I loved with only myself to blame. There is a whole lot more to the story I won't get into.

 

Don't be so quick to jump in bed w/someone who is potential boyfriend material! Remember, men don't think the same way women do. When you start by having sex w/them, that is how they will always see you. If you start with showing your interest in them and not their naughty parts and make them wait for your body, then you will see if they are really interested in being w/you or not.

[vi_pn_babe25]

I'm sorry to hear about the abusive relationships!! You did the right thing though. Most of the time when you hear about abusive relationships for some reason the women seem to stay in them.

 

Ok, so the guy that cares about you doesn't call you as much as before since you guys have slept together. Is that what your saying? Maybe I'm wrong but thats what I got. If that is the case I'm totally not surprised

 

Let me tell you a little story about me.

 

I moved to southern Cali with my dad 2 days after my graduation. My parents had separated a few months before that (a huge blow to me) and I had been fighting alot w/my mother. We were both devastaed over the separation and both suffering from depression. Once I got to Cali, I went crazy!! I partied and smoked and f***ed my way through the next year.

 

One night at the hot tub in our apt complex, several people were in there talking and this guy, very well built, came in and started doing laps in the pool. I snuck a few looks at him thoughout the conversation. It was still chilly that time of year so the pool was really cold and he got in the hot tub to warm up. I wasn't initially all that attracted to him, but we struck up a conversation. Everyone else got out and we were still talking. The more and more we talked, the more attracted to him I was. He mentioned that he had a honda street bike and asked if i wanted to ride. i said yes and we rode out to a secluded beach and walked and kissed in the moonlight, very romantic. We ended up going back to his apt and had crazy wild sex. This started a 3 month period of crazy sex. Problem was, i totally fell for him. He made me feel like I mattered, like he really wanted to know all I had to say. we would lay in bed and talk for hours. I had made it clear in the very begining that I did not want a relationship, just someone to be around when I was horny. I would sleep over at night and hang out while he was at work, then we'd hang out and play video games or watch movies during the day. It seemed perfect until I realized what thenmistake I had made. now all he saw me as was a f buddy and I wanted him to want a relationship w/me sooo bad! but I had already made the mistake and knew I couldn't say anything. Well, as f relationships go, it started phazing out, we would see each other about 4 times a month, then 2, then once every other month or so. I know for a fact if i would have just waited and not jumped right in his bed, I would have had a chance w/him. I really loved him.

 

Now just to clarify, I am so in love with my SO, and have absolutely no regrets whatsoever. I couldn't be happier now!! But I spent about 5 months severely depressed that I had lost someone I loved with only myself to blame. There is a whole lot more to the story I won't get into.

 

Don't be so quick to jump in bed w/someone who is potential boyfriend material! Remember, men don't think the same way women do. When you start by having sex w/them, that is how they will always see you. If you start with showing your interest in them and not their naughty parts and make them wait for your body, then you will see if they are really interested in being w/you or not.

 

It's weird because I had enough courage and strength to leave both of my abusive relationships but now it seems like falling into a relationship rut with all different guys and I realize it's dangerous and unhealthy being promiscuious.

Thank you for sharing your story, I'm sorry what happened to you with your parents. Alot of times (I believe)your future relationships are influenced by how you were raised and what you see from your own parents. Although I was raised in a very loving family, I was also spoiled (still am) and some people I've had an easy life, BUT I can see where it's starting to negatively effect me, as far as relationships, money etc. I can be naive alot of times and some things I don't even feel confident doing things on my own, because it was always given to me. So essentially I learned to walk all over my parents or at least get away with things, and now I don't know how to handle when people walk all over me. Sounds strange but it's true. Sometimes I wish I could've learned to fend for myself and not have anything to become a stronger person. From what I've seen with my friends or relatives, if parents seperate or divorce it definitely has an effect on the children, but I believe in a good way because it seems like they are more independent and a stronger individual.

Your story about that guy helped me think a lil more about my current relationships. Actually the guy that I've been talking about, the one that I met last Thanksgiving and just now had sex with, called lastnight to see if I wanted to do something, but I told him another day would be better because my niece is in town and I want to spend time with her. Anyway, you're right when you said you told the guy you just wanted to be his f buddy and then not turning into a real relationship. I don't know if I messed up something potentially meaningful with him or not because like I said one night (in April) I was pretty drunk and out of the blue I told him I wanted to f**k him so I ended up at his house and we did. And that was the first time in about 5 months that I had sex with him. My friend actually knew him back in highschool and said he was kind of the player type and popular. She told me that right when I met him so I was kind of skeptical. But he told me in the beginning that he regrets everything he did back then and he doesn't want people to view him the way they did in school. He was actually really upset about it, that I knew because he said he wanted to start out with someone new that didn't know his history. So from that point on, he's been the one guy that has never viewed me as just someone to have sex with. We've been really good friends, I've been there for him and he's been there for me, he's a gentleman and always treats me like a lady. So at first I was scared that since we've been friends for so long and he's never pressured me to have sex, I was the one that wanted sex and now that might have damaged things. I talked to him last saturday when I was out to see what he was doing but he was at home, so I told him we need to hang out soon and he said we will, so he called me yesterday and I was busy So all in all, should I ask him how he really feels about me? I just don't want to mess up our friendship, it seems like it's not messed up from when we slept together, but I'm not sure what he feels about me. He said right in front of me to his friend that I'm hot and that he's known me for awhile, so is that a hint? He's always said that I was beautiful but I guess the player thing from his past is still stuck in my head, (which he didn't want in the first place) so I'm not sure how to take his actions ya know? And I just want to make sure that I'm being played like a fool, like when I'm around his friends they know about his past but I'm a new girl in the picture, does that make sense? lol That's kind of the reason why I've waited for so long to sleep with him just to see how things happen, which I believe he has changed his ways in a way because he's taken things slow and as friends first. And that's why I'm not sure how he sees me because all the other guys I've been with started out as mainly sexual and him being the past player type has been the opposite so that's where I'm confused.

Sorry this was long I had alot to explain I guess

[Tim'sAngel]

Alot of times (I believe)your future relationships are influenced by how you were raised and what you see from your own parents. Although I was raised in a very loving family, I was also spoiled (still am) and some people I've had an easy life, BUT I can see where it's starting to negatively effect me, as far as relationships, money etc. I can be naive alot of times and some things I don't even feel confident doing things on my own, because it was always given to me.

 

I was spoiled by my mom in some ways. She did everything for me so I never had to remember to do anything for myself. Now that is having a negitive affect on my relationship because of my lack of responsibility. But I cant use that as an excuse to be immature. We are adults after all, we have the power to better ourselves.

 

We've been really good friends, I've been there for him and he's been there for me, he's a gentleman and always treats me like a lady. So at first I was scared that since we've been friends for so long and he's never pressured me to have sex, I was the one that wanted sex and now that might have damaged things.

 

He treated you a lady because you acted like one. That is the key, if you act like a slut, you get treated accordingly, but if you act like a lady, you will get a lot of respect and positive attention.

 

I talked to him last saturday when I was out to see what he was doing but he was at home, so I told him we need to hang out soon and he said we will, so he called me yesterday and I was busy So all in all, should I ask him how he really feels about me? I just don't want to mess up our friendship, it seems like it's not messed up from when we slept together, but I'm not sure what he feels about me.

 

Well, I don't know what you define as messed up, but now that sex has been introduced into the friendship, it's going to be expected

 

That's kind of the reason why I've waited for so long to sleep with him just to see how things happen, which I believe he has changed his ways in a way because he's taken things slow and as friends first.

 

So your intentions were just to score with him?

 

And that's why I'm not sure how he sees me because all the other guys I've been with started out as mainly sexual and him being the past player type has been the opposite so that's where I'm confused.

Sorry this was long I had alot to explain I guess

 

It's ok, you can vent all you need to. I just hope your learning somethingc here about men. They arn't very complicated.

[vi_pn_babe25]

I lack alot of responsibility and it shows in pretty much every aspect of my life. I'll admit that I'm hoping one day I'll finally learn to grow up and take responsibility for my actions.

 

As far as the lady-like part, it's true if you act like a lady you'll get positive attention. But let me ask you this, do you think it's unlady like to wear skirts, sorta like mini skirts? I just like to wear them because I love my legs honestsly. And maybe that's attracting the wrong kind of attention, it shouldn't matter what someone wears, but maybe it does. I know I'm not 18 anymore but like I said I like to wear them, and they look mini on me because I have long legs, I'm not talking extreme mini but like a jean skirt length.

 

My intentions weren't to get him in bed, I actually wanted to see what his intentions were because I've said before that some guys I meet want to sleep with me the first night. But he was different. I've been attracted to him for as long as I've known him and we've been good friends and yes I was drunk but I called him and said I wanted to go further, he was drunk too and he agreed so we did. Do you think he was just waiting for me to initiate it first or what? We still talk and hang out so I guess nothing our friendship was ruined by that fact. But I think we held out, at least for me, when we felt comfortable to go further, except I know being drunk is not the way to go about things

[Tim'sAngel]

Look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? Try looking from a mans eyes. Do you look like someone you would respect? I'm not gonna tell you what you can and can't wear, but don't think that you have to show a bunch of skin to be attractive. Be tasteful. I stay away from minis because I dont' like walking in a room and having men look right at my legs. But thats just me. If you like that kind of attention then I'm not gonna change ur mind.

 

I know your not stupid. I know you know what you need to do. I think you just like the attention your getting so your making little excuses of why you are the way u are to justify it in your own head.