I love her so much

[Guest_Boy]

A million of these stories start this way: I have a friend, and shes a girl. Before i continue i must however tell you about her. In a word, Unbelivable. She is the most stunninly beautiful girl I have or probably will ever see. I have thought about her everyday for the past two years. In almost everything i do i think about what she would think. Iam uttlery obsessed. Shes the only person alive that I would die for.

 

We've been deep, deep friends for a long time. It should have been ovbious to her how i felt, what with my constant gawking and compliements and letters and songs. One night, i said, f*** it, im in some much agony over this girl, ive known her so long, im just gonna tell her i love her. So I kissed her and told her how I felt.

 

The next day she said she didnt want to be that way with. I had really though she liked me that way! She might as well have just punched me in the face. Anyway, scince that incident we are even closer, go to movies all the time, just hang out. I'm sorry im blathing but I really dont have a point to this. Should i just give up? I feel like shes the only girl i ever need, but i just cant have her! How can i make her see that no one will ever care for her like i will....shes tearing me apart.

[whichwayisup]

You mean to tell me, you kissed her, you poured your heart and soul to this girl, and then she told you more or less that she wasn't into you that way, and just wanted to be friends - And now she's still wanting to be friends with you?? Knowing how you feel about her?? She expects things to be 'just' the same as they were before that happened? Yeah right. It's not going to happen until you feel less for her.

 

To protect your own heart and sanity, back off. Tell her that you need time and space to get over the feelings for her, and that you can't handle a friendship...For now. Who knows...Maybe you freaked her out and she needs time to see how she feels...Maybe some time apart will make her miss you and she'll realize she infact DOES have feelings for you. Or, if that isn't the case, maybe it's for the best that you now know because you don't want to love her like that and get nothing back. That hurts. Nothing worse than being around someone you want and they don't want you. Ouch.

[fraidycat]

In any situation where a friend told me he wanted to be more and I genuinely wasn't interested, I actually backed off quite a bit. But you say she and you got even closer? I know the obvious answer on here is that she just doesn't want you move on, and please don't think I am trying to give you false hope here because this is just a shot in the dark at possibility. Is there some reason that you know of.. (or maybe one you don't know of! ) that this girl shy's away from relationships, or is there some reason she'd have for being scared of losing you in the long run? Maybe she's just vindictive and evil! But it just strikes me so odd that instead of backing off she just continued to pull closer...It just makes me wonder is all if her telling you she didn't want to be with you was an act of honesty or out of fear..

[noclobber]

Actually I am not one bit surprised 'cos this is the exact same thing that happened in my case as well. Even I thought that after opening up to my female friend and her subsequent rejection she would back away... But she didn't!! After I told her my feelings she said she only likes me as a friend. I said fine and walked back home. Before I could reach home she called me up and said that she was very very sorry....

 

I started backing off the next few days and she got upset b'cos of that. We had fights and finally she got me back as her friend... she really put lot of effort and we both got back to how it used to be before... meeting 3 to 4 times a week for lunch or coffee. And it didn't end there.. She continues to put in effort so that I don't walk away from being her friend...

 

puzzling huh... any thoughts fraidy?

[Guest_Kulyok]

It's very natural that your friend doesn't want to lose you - if you are really good friends, that is. After all, girls are NOT whores, who only need sex from boys. Some of us want just talk and hanging out before marriage.

 

If you became closer, she probably likes you a lot. Maybe she even likes you that way. Maybe not. After all, even the most loving girl would back off in fright, if a guy(even the guy she likes) kisses her and looks at her with hungry, undressing eyes. It IS scary sometimes.

 

And is it really _love_, when you say: "I love you", but your eyes scream "Do you love me back? Do you?" It's high school bulls***.

 

You are near the girl you love. Be glad of it.

[darrren12000]

Sometimes people will say they are uninterested but then act in ways that betray what they have said. This has happened to me with my current saga. Imagine someone inviting you to live with them because you are "the most important person in their life and you may as well get used to being with them forever" (while they were actually seeing someone at the time) -- but insisting that you are "just friends."

 

People do it for attention. It's not always vindictive. There are a lot of people yearing for intimacy. They crave it. If you give it to them, they will take it. Many of these people have romantic relationships, but are left unsatisfied with them. Being highly intimate with a friend simply gives them "safe" intimacy -- intimacy, without the fears associated with real romance. Dont be confused. She is not seeking a romantic relationship with you. You need to distance yourself. You will only become more and more obsessed.

 

It's unfair, but my best friend did the same thing: "if you pull back from me, I do not know what I will do!" Oh how, friggin' dramatic. That is simple manipulation (even if based on true love and concern). The only thing you can control is your own response to her. You will not be able to convince her that she loves you (even if she really does). In sum, run!