here goes...

[whats wrong with me]

this has been bothering me for awhile...not sure if this should go here but anyway...if it was him doing it I'd consider it cheating, but since its me I dont....

 

My h cheats on me, I know this and it used to rule my life. Well...I've been talkin to a married guy online, no webcam, no plans to run away together or anything like that. BUT since weve been "talking" I've started (seriously thinking) about leaving my h, but not for this guy just to be by myself or "free". I've just started realizing that my relationship is basically crap, we dont love each other its just convenient.

 

now leaving my h brings other complications we have kids, he can be a monster...as in abusive towards me. He hasnt physically hurt me for a few years but I figure its only a matter of time.

 

anyway, if I left him he would follow me. BUT if I stay I'm going to become so depressed. I've been weighing the pros and cons for weeks and cant figure out which would be better...staying or leaving.

 

I just recently spent a few days in a "clinic" of sorts for my nerves...but I cant talk to these people cause I figure my H will know exactly what I've said. Confidentiality is not worth alot these days (ecspecially if its thought you may be suicidal, which I'm not, but the counslers seem to think I am) theres alot of stuff going on in my life stressing me but the plan to leave is a major problem for me.

 

I know this is so jumbled but I cant seem to find the right way of wording this mess. has anyone been there? I really cant deal with my head anymore and could use an outside opinion

[whats wrong with me]

well he basically "told" me what i need to do....leave.....hes got crabs.

 

This is the only time I've ever been happy that I wasnt getting any sex.

[Mz. Pixie]

I've been there. When my marriage fell apart I was in a "clinic" as well.

 

He's abusive, he cheats on you, and he's got crabs??

 

Not a hard decision for me, but do it for yourself. Don't do it to find someone better or because you want to be free because someone may come along that's better but you could also be single for a long time.

[whichwayisup]

I think you need to find a therapist who can help you through your issues, to help you get to the point you need to be so you CAN leave him.

 

Think of your children. Your husband is abusive, they 'see' that and are learning things from him that isn't good. Another reason to take the steps to get away from him. You say it's only a matter of time before he gets abusive again - Well, get out then.