ConfusedGal Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 OK, so you guys (who have followed my previous posts) wanna hear something sick?? I think I have mentioned that my 32 year old brother lives across the country and comes home once a year for three days. But he calls my mom 5 times a day and acts like he is 3 and tells her "Oh, you are the best mom in the world" all the time, cause he knows she likes it! And just kisses her butt on the phone, sitting cushy across the country, though he bitches to me about her all the time... So he sent my mom an e-card for Mother's day which she FORWARDED to me!! It was SOOO sick!! MY 32 YEAR OLD brother writes "You are the most wonderful mother in the world! I am so lucky! You are the best mom on the planet! Hopefully one day we will be together and have wonderful times!" THEN COME HOME YOU JERK!!! I mean, She forwarded it to me to PROVE that my Brother thinks she is the BEST. And that is SUCH BULLLL! He NEVER comes him cause he HATES coming home!!! He gives her more and more feul and her thing is "Well, HE thinks I am the best, so there must be something wrong with YOU." ARGHHHHHHHHHH!! OK, thats fine if he wrote that but she FORWARDED it to ME!!! So, what I did was I responded to her AND cc'd my brother (he would be completely flabbergasted to know his sister read that card!!!) and said "Well, that is SOOOO sweet! Well, yes Mom! Of course you are the best and we ARE lucky to have you!" Lol lol lol...He will be flabbergasted. MY BROTHER just PISSES me off cause he is such a kiss-a..s and has played the game. But his game has harmed ME. He has NEVER been around for me, and has NEVER stuck up for me even though he AGREES I am right. EVER!! HE IS 32 and CALLS MOM 5 times a DAY!!! EWW! Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 So your brother is a Mamas boy? They are out there, or perhaps he wants to be on your moms good side so when her will is written, who do you think will get the majority of her assests? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedGal Posted May 15, 2006 Author Share Posted May 15, 2006 Riddler, If you have read my previous posts, you will see where I am coming from... The twisted parts: 1- My mom actually FORWARDING me his e-card, when that is completely unecessary, just to give me yet another example of how "wonderful" she is. 2- My sick 32 year old brother acting like he is 2... I dont care who gets what in the will. He can get it all for all I care! Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 I have taken the time to read your threads/posts from the past and I see what you mean. Very strange. I am not close to my family, so it wouldn't bother me. At least you don't have to see it on a daily basis. Link to post Share on other sites
Mistaken Identity Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 Hey Confused Gal, I don't get your brother. I really don't. What does he gain by kissing her @ss? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 what does he gain? Sounds like CG's mother treats him very, very well because he's got the suck-ass thing down, while CG is treated like shxt because she doesn't buy into it. damn, girl ... you're going to have to let go of some of this anger you've got toward your mother and brother or it's going to eat you alive, and that's definitely what we don't want to see happen to you because (I think) you deserve better than that. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 CG, you really have to try your best to care less about what your mom does and says. Make her not a huge part of your daily life and (I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before) maybe start thinking about going to therapy, so YOU can learn how to handle her better. She isn't ever going to change, so you have to change how you handle her. Change your ways of thinking, reacting and don't let it affect your life so much. Yeah, I know, easier said than done...But if you have to try this because if you don't she is going to ruin your life even more. As for your brother, well, let him behave the way he wants to. She loves it and eats it up and it makes her happy. He isn't around to put up with her BS and live with her crap like you do. The therapy will help you deal with your resentments and anger. For starters, (try it! It works!!) write her a LONG email, or handwritten letter. Do NOT send it or give it to her, this is for you, for theraputic reasons. I swear, just venting it out and getting all that s*** OUT of your head will make you feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 I THINK ALL THE 3 OF YOU ARE SICK! Just kidding... Your brother misses your mom and she is the best from far away, of course. Your mom wants to be in better terms with you so she uses your brother's sweetness to rub it in your face for not being such a great daughter. When I lived with my mom, we fought 5 times a day. Now I miss her like crazy and my heart is bleeding. I long to see her face and kiss her and hold her. She IS the best mom in the whole world and I would call her five times a day if it were cheaper. She lives in Europe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedGal Posted May 16, 2006 Author Share Posted May 16, 2006 Hi RecordProducer, Its lovely that you love your mom so much. See, mine is crazy (if you have read my posts from before.) I mean, literally nuts... My brother does not miss my mom. He does not live in another country, but yet he still comes home once a year for 3 days at most. He just kisses a@@ from a distance. I am trying to deal. I am in therapy already. It just hurts you to know that your own mother can hurt you so much...But whatever. I have to deal and need to learn to not let it affect me so much... Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 I think in your response you should've said something about how it sounds like he is planning a suprise visit very very soon! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedGal Posted May 16, 2006 Author Share Posted May 16, 2006 HAHAH! Now THAT would have been funny! i just wanna punch him SO hard sometimes! He is SUCH a geek! I cant wait till he gets married and stops calling mommy 5 times a day...Then HE gets the accusations of having "changed" and how horrible his wife is for "brainwashing" him! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 Hi RecordProducer, Its lovely that you love your mom so much. See, mine is crazy (if you have read my posts from before.) I mean, literally nuts... My brother does not miss my mom. He does not live in another country, but yet he still comes home once a year for 3 days at most. He just kisses a@@ from a distance. I am trying to deal. I am in therapy already. It just hurts you to know that your own mother can hurt you so much...But whatever. I have to deal and need to learn to not let it affect me so much...Oh, I see. Then tell your mom that your brother refers to her as a bitch when you speak to him! Just kidding. Try to isolate yourself from those situation where comparison starts. You don't need that s***. Who cares what she thinks? You're there, he is not. Kids who live far away are always better than the ones that are close anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedGal Posted May 16, 2006 Author Share Posted May 16, 2006 And that my friend, is why I wonder, if kids far away are always better, why stay close by?? No matter what you do close by, its NEVER appreciated...So why stick around? Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 And that my friend, is why I wonder, if kids far away are always better, why stay close by?? No matter what you do close by, its NEVER appreciated...So why stick around?Because we suck, that's why we shouldn't stick around! But they can't live without us either. Link to post Share on other sites
Fun2BMe Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 If she falls for all his phony lovey dovey antics, why don't you start sending her e-cards with exact same type of mushy goo to her. See if she buys it or if she sees the BS coming from you, she might open her eyes and wonder if it's also BS from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedGal Posted May 17, 2006 Author Share Posted May 17, 2006 I do mushy goo sometimes, but I cant all the time, cause she just says awful things... I am more of a genuine person and prefer not overdoing it to the point that I get diabetes... But sometimes I HAVE to....Its sick... Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 CG- In the case of BPD parents, one child is almost always favored over the other. If the BPD parent is a female, it's usually the male child. She has to either split you two into all good or all bad. If your brother starts giving her backlash ever then he'll be the bad one temporarily and you'll be the good one. It was that way with my brother and I and that way with all of the women in my BPD support group with their brothers if they had them. It's like she's preening in front of the attention, isn't it? I got out of high school and had a full scholarship but I had no car to drive ot get to college. My mother wouldn't even loan me one. So, I had to go to work and support myself and go to night school. My half brother never worked- didn't go to school and she paid the note on not one but two cars at one time for him. He was into drugs and the like, and she'd get mad at him about it, and vent to me about it. I'd offer solutions and then the next minute, I'm the bad one for suggesting he go to rehab or get a job! Once he forged $3,000 worth of checks on her checking account and she could have had him locked up. Would she?? Noooooo but I had to bring them groceries because they were starving and he was shooting up her money on drugs! Now, he's a homeless drug addict because there is no mommy to bail him out. I have a successful career and a lovely home and a great life. He was abused by her but just in a different way. Link to post Share on other sites
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