Will I Ever Know The Truth?

[Guest9million]

There was a span of time of about several months with no sex. During this time he left very often and came back late or early morning hours. I just thought he wasn't sexual, until I woke up and found out he went to a strip club with his friends. I will never know the truth. NEVER! And he will never budge! And now I question EVERY SINGLE THING HE HAS EVER TOLD ME EVER! I cannot go into details in case he one day ponders this site. BUt now he said he's so hurt about family matters in the past, he cant stop thinking about it and it hurts so bad, and I feel like he's using it as an excuse for his cheating, IF HE CHEATED during that time. HELP!

[JackJack]

Its hard to say for sure wheather he really cheated or not. And unless you have real solid proof or he confesses on his own then chances are you might not ever know. However, the main question is, do you feel you want to be in a relationship where theres no trust? You already said you question the things he has told you. Thats not a healthy situation to be in. Maybe you need to weigh your options and see what you really want to do.

[enoughisenough]

I actually think too many people trust their spouses. Everyone makes mistakes and thinking your spouse can't succumb to bad decisions is just living in fantasy land. But being obsessed about everything your spouse tells you is not good either though, if that's the case. If the behavior and lifestyle changed in which you can no longer try to BUST him, then you pretty much are left without ever knowing, unless the bad cycle starts again. Then you get out a tape recorder to record his calls in the car or whomever else might be in there with him. Get a tracking device for his vehicle and see if he's going to strip clubs again.

And again there is the chance that you are blowing things out of proportion. At least he wasn't at the strip club alone. If he hurts as bad as he does about something or other, only time will tell.. he'll probably not be able to withstand the pain any longer and want to come clean. Do not try to cause fighting or arguments, that will just get further away from his guilt and pain because he will instead be angry and try to blame things on you. I don't know, just a suggestion. Time will tell I guess.

I know what it's like to be lied to once about something small and then question everything else in the past. Honesty is the best policy in a relationship.