Talking to girls

[Mr X]

I am a 14 year old boy in year 8 and have trouble with girls. i am very shy and don't know how to start a conversation. i see friends from my old school alot, but i can't talk to them because i don't feel 'cool' and get embarrassed. they seem much cooler now, hang out with the cooler kids at my school and am afraid they won't talk to me.

 

I also don't know how to ask a girl out, or start a conversation with a girl i don't know.

 

Please help,

 

Needy.

[Evanescence]

Hey

 

When you get older, you'll find out that "cool" is exactly that - the opposite of "hot". The cool kids suck when you get older and you'll thank god you were never one of them. All of the "cool" kids from my grade school and high school are all working at Wal-Mart or McDonalds with a kid or two under their belt that they had between the age of 19 and now from a relationship that is now nothing. So, be glad you aren't "cool". Those guys made me sick when I was in school anyway. And they still do. A lot of girls my age (24) are annoyed by those guys who think they are slick and cool. Most prefer a guy who just seems interested in them. My advice is act like they are a guy. What would you say to another guy if you wanted to be friends? As cheesy as it sounds, make a comment on the weather, or something like that. Anything to get a conversation started. Another suggestion is comment on her hair if she does it different or cuts it, or if she got a new pair of shoes, or jewellery, or whatever you notice. Girls LOVe when guys notice things like that because males are notorious for not noticing the "little things".

 

As for asking a girl out... its probalby easier to get yourself to talk to her for a bit first, then after getting to know each other, you can ask her if she wants to hang out after school or something.

 

Just be honest, and be yourself. Don't try to be slick because that just comes across as stupid.

 

Good luck!

[hyakku]

Hey

 

When you get older, you'll find out that "cool" is exactly that - the opposite of "hot". The cool kids suck when you get older and you'll thank god you were never one of them. All of the "cool" kids from my grade school and high school are all working at Wal-Mart or McDonalds with a kid or two under their belt that they had between the age of 19 and now from a relationship that is now nothing. So, be glad you aren't "cool". Those guys made me sick when I was in school anyway. And they still do. A lot of girls my age (24) are annoyed by those guys who think they are slick and cool. Most prefer a guy who just seems interested in them. My advice is act like they are a guy. What would you say to another guy if you wanted to be friends? As cheesy as it sounds, make a comment on the weather, or something like that. Anything to get a conversation started. Another suggestion is comment on her hair if she does it different or cuts it, or if she got a new pair of shoes, or jewellery, or whatever you notice. Girls LOVe when guys notice things like that because males are notorious for not noticing the "little things".

 

As for asking a girl out... its probalby easier to get yourself to talk to her for a bit first, then after getting to know each other, you can ask her if she wants to hang out after school or something.

 

Just be honest, and be yourself. Don't try to be slick because that just comes across as stupid.

 

Good luck!

 

That had to be the worst piece of advice I've ever read in my life.

 

Do not listen to this, eva I'm sorry, but you and I both know damn right that that would not work.

 

First off kid, confidence. Its the key to success in everything, if you aren't confident (and also competent, but that comes after confidence), then nothing will click.

 

Second, not all the cool kids are bad. I'm what you would call a cool kid, i've done some things I'm proud of and things that many wouldn't approve of. My stats, I'm going to be a junior, 16, Black, all that jazz. My GPA is a 3.8, out of all my schools I have been to (somewhere around 6 or 7) I have had two people that just didn't like me in my life. One when I was in I believe second grade, and one since the beginning of high school. I meld into almost EVERY crowd, and almost EVERYONE likes me. I formed my own clique when I first came in 9th grade, and now I routinely hang out with my clique (rap,/ ghetto (We live near new york, etc), the pot head crew (they just smoke and listen to techno/rock/rap, cool bunch of guys though. And if you judge them let me tell you that one is going to Saint Peters University and the other LaSalle, so please don't tell me these are dumb kids) who are all extremely popular around the town, the "nerds" (again, I have all AP and honors classes), the preps (and thats from a majority all white town, so I should be the exception, but I'm not !), and the rockers, etc. I have had people tell me from the time of 7th grade to almost junior year now tell me that they used to didn't like me in 7th grade but then they really started to like me and thought I was really cool (this coming from a girl who I am nearly polar opposites in terms of culture: I'm ghetto, she's prep, I'm rap, she's rock, etc). Being cool doesn't mean you're going to fail. Generally speaking its a self defense mechanism used by the weak and insecure to make themselves feel like they have the "one up" against the cool kids, because all cool kids are going to fail in life. Let me also mention that I am a HUGE nerd (and proud of it), yet this only seems to bring MORE friends to me, because they all like to help me out when I need it and I help them out with computers, whatever. You can have the most nerdy skills (Building computers, fixing them, etc), yet still be cool. Its in the personality, so please don't listen to her.

 

Now that I'm off my tangent, get your inner workings handled. Work on building confidence, and having fun, I know around 8th grade it seems like everyones having fun and probably everyones "having sex", but they really aren't. And believe me when I was in 7th and 8th grade I didn't believe this either, but its true, they all are talking big because they are worried about their own egos. Those are the frauds. The real cool kids who generally everyone is cool with is just chill, laid back, and saying, "You know what, its all cool, I'm glad your life is going great, mine is too". People WANT to be with you when you are inspiring them and they feel that you are generally interested in them, not when you are trying to be better than them.

 

To start a conversation, really you are in 8th grade, anything will work, but personally I would get something really trivial to females (like older women usually respond well too, "Who lies more men or women" etc type questions, whereas younger girls will respond to alot). one thing I will tell you. When girls are young, they love the cocky funny routine, not that older women don't, but you can get away with MORE as a younger guy, so just play it like everyhing always goes your way, and everything will work out. Guarantee you they will SEE and FEEl that confidence, and wanna be with you. Just know when you have cocky comedy and then just arrogance, always know the difference.

 

Gotta go though, MMORPGs call! (I am a nerd woo .)