ridingthebulls Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Wait a minute, the affair lasted TEN years? Ever hear of the phrase 'cant teach a dog new tricks'.. well there's a lot of truth to that. Sounds like you are just sticking along in this marriage for convenience reasons. You feel financially secure etc and afraid to prospect for another partner. Think you can't do better than your disgusting husband? Maybe you need a life coach.. maybe you need to start worrying about your own well-being... get some hobbies, go back to school, lose some weight and stay fit, get some plastic surgery... anything you can do to make you confident enough to venture out and create a better life for yourself. You are better than THIS!!! Every woman is! You actually enjoy being with a man who is INDIFFERENT to you... ???? Really, women you CAN do better... I'd rather be alone than cleaning some disgusting man's dirty underwear and shorts, cooking dinner for him, only for him to feel totally emotionless towards the pain and hurt he's caused me.. wtf are you people thinking? 10 years= he didn't give a damn. STOP BELIEVING A MAN'S LIES! HE's a pathological LIAR= move on! Link to post Share on other sites
Chump64 Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 You are so right, Bulls. I'm picking up the phone to call my lawyer as I type. I'm so glad you came along so I could see the light! I don't wash his undies or cook, though. Those are his jobs. I will surely miss my houseboy, but I do deserve better. Off I go! Link to post Share on other sites
ridingthebulls Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 How do you "hold your head up high" when you CONTINUE to be a lying/cheating man's DOORMAT! YOU SUCCUMB TO HIS LEVEL BY STAYING WITH HIM! STAYING WITH HIM MEANS YOU FEEL HE'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! Only way you can hold your head up high is when you leave him because you know you are WORTH MORE THAN HIM and his endless garbage. It seriously would be a different story if HE was the one to confess at the beggining of a BETRAYAL and HE was the one to stop the behavior. Doing it for 10 years means he didn't give a s*** about her. DEAL WITH IT AND MOVE ON! Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Wait a minute, the affair lasted TEN years? Ever hear of the phrase 'cant teach a dog new tricks'.. well there's a lot of truth to that. Sounds like you are just sticking along in this marriage for convenience reasons. You feel financially secure etc and afraid to prospect for another partner. Think you can't do better than your disgusting husband? Maybe you need a life coach.. maybe you need to start worrying about your own well-being... get some hobbies, go back to school, lose some weight and stay fit, get some plastic surgery... anything you can do to make you confident enough to venture out and create a better life for yourself. You are better than THIS!!! Every woman is! You actually enjoy being with a man who is INDIFFERENT to you... ???? Really, women you CAN do better... I'd rather be alone than cleaning some disgusting man's dirty underwear and shorts, cooking dinner for him, only to feel totally emotionless towards the pain and hurt he's caused me.. wtf are you people thinking? 10 years= he didn't give a damn. STOP BELIEVING A MAN'S LIES! HE's a pathological LIAR= move on! Why don't you stop beating someone when they are already down? she's heard your sorry tune many times. People have to walk the path that is best for them. why would you say venomous things like lose weight or get plastic surgery in conjunction with the phrase well being? How do you know Chump isn't lovely both inside and out. You don't. I don't think that she has said that her husband is indifferent to her. I don't think she's enjoying this one bit. I for one am quite offended by your post. If you don't understand something, it doesn't make your point of view right. Stop being so judgemental and if you can't do it, follow another thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Chump64 Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 RIDING THE BULLSH*T -- THANKS FOR BEING SO PISSED ON MY BEHALF. Link to post Share on other sites
ridingthebulls Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 I do know that she feels insecure enough about herself to be this fearful of leaving him AND thinking she can't do better. EVERYONE can use a PICK ME UP- whether it's surgery, fitness, going back to school... whatever it takes, DO IT! If he even ASKED me where his dinner was or if I made dinner for him after work, you better believe that WHOLE POT OF CHILLI OR SPAGHETTI WOULD BE RIGHT ON TOP OF HIS HEAD! COOK YOUR OWN DAMN FOOD! Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 I do know that she feels insecure enough about herself to be this fearful of leaving him AND thinking she can't do better. EVERYONE can use a PICK ME UP- whether it's surgery, fitness, going back to school... whatever it takes, DO IT! If he even ASKED me where his dinner was or if I made dinner for him after work, you better believe that WHOLE POT OF CHILLI OR SPAGHETTI WOULD BE RIGHT ON TOP OF HIS HEAD! COOK YOUR OWN DAMN FOOD! aside from school and hobbie you have suggest all but temporary 'pick me ups" Chump has not come across as a doormat to me at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Kinda funny - I was tempted to get on here and bitch about how far this thread had gone off the rails a page or two ago, but I find it soothing that a thread that started with stories of finding satisfaction in revenge, and then descended into bickering (you've gotta admit... ), has come full circle to an acknowledgement of the nobility of having empathy for someone who has hurt you. My wife had an affair 10 yrs ago, then another secret EA/maybe PA "just happened", starting two years ago, before she abruptly ended our marriage recently. While accepting my share of responsibility for everything inside the boundaries of our marriage, I have been quite hurt and angry about what she took outside - justifiably, I think. And yet, on the topic of revenge, it doesn't really appeal to me. I'm not sure if it's because we have kids and we're focusing on them, or if I would feel this way without them, but I just hope everyone will heal. Of course I've had fleeting thoughts of revenge - (like exposing her prior behavior to her family, or within our community), but the ideas ultimately make me feel worse, not better. It would just be creating more damage. And the stronger I get, the farther along I find myself down this road, the more I find that feeling you guys are talking about - empathy for her. It doesn't feel so noble, because I quickly alternate between feeling that for her, and then being mad at myself because having that feeling would be "letting her off to easily", and then being mad at myself again for refusing to let go of my anger, that old reliable - if not comfortable - cushion through this process. Z: I think your xMM was wrong to tell you he still loved you, and you did the best thing you could have in response. Noble. Chump: Finding that empathy is hard, but leave yourself open to it. Someday, maybe. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 How do you "hold your head up high" when you CONTINUE to be a lying/cheating man's DOORMAT! YOU SUCCUMB TO HIS LEVEL BY STAYING WITH HIM! STAYING WITH HIM MEANS YOU FEEL HE'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! Only way you can hold your head up high is when you leave him because you know you are WORTH MORE THAN HIM and his endless garbage. It seriously would be a different story if HE was the one to confess at the beggining of a BETRAYAL and HE was the one to stop the behavior. Doing it for 10 years means he didn't give a s*** about her. DEAL WITH IT AND MOVE ON! You really don't know that. You sound really passionate about this. What's your story? Link to post Share on other sites
ridingthebulls Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Taking CARE of oneself on the outside and inside is not temporary. You will attract more men and feel better every time you look in the mirror. MIght be superficial, but it helps people psychologically about themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Oops, clearly I took too long in responding. My response above goes back to post #122.... Seems the thread has veered a bit once again! :D Link to post Share on other sites
ridingthebulls Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Amy Fisher?? LOL What did Joey's wife do? She stayed with the dirtbag for YEARS after that whole mess! WTF was she thinking? It shows how dependent women can become. The lying, cheating and being SHOT IN THE HEAD didn't make her leave.. until what?? 8 years later?? WTF Link to post Share on other sites
Chump64 Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Thanks Riding, I just made two phone calls: One to start the divorce rolling, and another to make an appointment for plastic breast implants. I’m so glad you came along! You’ve shown me the way! Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Z: I think your xMM was wrong to tell you he still loved you, and you did the best thing you could have in response. Noble. His exact words were, "I loved you and will always love you for who you are for the rest of my life. I hope someday you can come to forgive me." Just didn't help at all. Trimmer, to be honest, I'm not noble at all. I told him what I did because of me... not because of his relationship with his W. I needed to remind him though that she would not approve and that his consideration must be placed first on her and then himself if things were to work out for them. As for doing what I did, I knew that if we continued on the way we did, even just talking about our feelings and such, I would surely kill myself. I wouldn't be able to live with myself for hurting people around me continuously and letting someone cause me this amount of pain on a daily basis. I have truly given up all hope of a friendship and life with him. I only ask that if he loved me at all, that he spare me more pain by staying away from em. Link to post Share on other sites
Chump64 Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Trimmer: This is what I call "bickertainment." Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I read somewhere that when you can feel true empathy for your wandering spouse (most of the time, anyway), then you are nearing completion of "recovery." So this is a good thing for you -- congrats. It scares me a little bit that it took you a decade to find empathy. Oh well, one day at a time. I am told it will take at least five years to sort this all out for us, if we stay together and work on it. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Taking CARE of oneself on the outside and inside is not temporary. You will attract more men and feel better every time you look in the mirror. MIght be superficial, but it helps people psychologically about themselves. thanks sigmund... I'm gunna go and get some size Ds because my C cups are not good enough for attracting men like bees to honey. Link to post Share on other sites
ridingthebulls Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Thanks Riding, I just made two phone calls: One to start the divorce rolling, and another to make an appointment for plastic breast implants. I’m so glad you came along! You’ve shown me the way! Let me guess.. you'd rather waste away your life with a cheater? Yep, and by the time you are really aged, he will still look decent (men age better) and be off with a young skirt. Don't say I didn't warn you. Then you will all blame it on " i was young and stupid" and be another case of MARY JOE BUTTAFUOCO! She wasted the best years of her life away.. she now looks terrible and has little chance to attract a decent fellow.. and Joey got married only a year or two later after she finally divorced his dirtbag ass. Link to post Share on other sites
ridingthebulls Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 thanks sigmund... I'm gunna go and get some size Ds because my C cups are not good enough for attracting men like bees to honey. You/chump brought up breast implants, not me. Different strokes for different folks. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Let me guess.. you'd rather waste away your life with a cheater? Yep, and by the time you are really aged, he will still look decent (men age better) and be off with a young skirt. Don't say I didn't warn you. Then you will all blame it on " i was young and stupid" and be another case of MARY JOE BUTTAFUOCO! She wasted the best years of her life away.. she now looks terrible and has little chance to attract a decent fellow.. and Joey got married only a year or two later after she finally divorced his dirtbag ass. Hey dumbass, how do you look good after being shot in the head and half your face is paralyzed? Last I checked, I think she has a new hubby. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, not necessarily a plastic surgeon's knife. Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Wow... I already got mine a few years ago... And, let me tell you....lately all I have been attracting is roaches.... So, forget it Zara....keep your C's. It's not worth it! Link to post Share on other sites
Chump64 Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Meh, I am confident, smart, attractive and wealthy enough. And even if I do ditch my husband, I really don't want another man. I'm thinking some solitude (and a great vibrator, with a G spot attachment) might be nice for awhile. Link to post Share on other sites
ridingthebulls Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 She looked very YOUNG AFTER she was shot. Ever heard of the aging process? Read a book. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 You/chump brought up breast implants, not me. Different strokes for different folks. yeah, and tummy tucks, chin implants, nose bridge implants are ALL so much better. Link to post Share on other sites
ridingthebulls Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Well if you feel unattractive enough to not find a better man other than a dirtbag hubby, do WHATEVER you have to.. you women sound like you need it. Link to post Share on other sites
Chump64 Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Thanks Riding. Link to post Share on other sites
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