Depressed

[Kevin]

Two years ago, I was in a serious relationship, living with the girl, had a decent job, and was the happiest I have pretty much ever been. Since then, I've been cheated on, dumped, and lost my job...and am living with my folks at age 25, and working a temp job in a mailroom. I bust my ass every day to try to move up in all these things, but havent had any success whatsoever over the last six months. I feel like such a loser. Yeah, I know, if I have this attitude, no woman will be attracted to me, and I'll fail at anything I do. Well, I have consistently tried to "strap on my boots" and suck it up and "make it happen," but the continued failure is really beginning to hurt, badly. All I can think of is when times were better, and it's almost overwhelming. Each successive failure makes it harder to pick myself back up. This damn economy makes my job search difficult, and it's hard to meet women or socialize when you're living at home and working in a mailroom. I just can't seem to break out of this rut. I know I'm capable of so much more happiness, and I want it to happen right now...

[Picasso]

Wow; You are young, and there is still the potential for things to happen but you have to be the one to do it. You are living with your parents; not good at 25. You are also in a rut. You can change that. The oppurtunity is there if you look in the right places.

 

Why not join the military? No joke intended. The pay is excellent, you can travel, it will give you confidence and a better future. Think about it. I don't believe you will be hauled off to war, since we fight these things differently now. You would get a college degree, and have a retirement to look foreward to and achieve something to be proud of. It will open up your life. I would do it if I wasn't so damned old! I have friends who are successful because of the military and they have absolutely no complaints; (only that they are idle and wishing to go fight at the moment)! Talk to someone about this; what have you got to lose?

 

I am sure you will get lost of good advice here but that just is my two cents worth! Good luck. Keep your chin up.

 

Two years ago, I was in a serious relationship, living with the girl, had a decent job, and was the happiest I have pretty much ever been. Since then, I've been cheated on, dumped, and lost my job...and am living with my folks at age 25, and working a temp job in a mailroom. I bust my ass every day to try to move up in all these things, but havent had any success whatsoever over the last six months. I feel like such a loser. Yeah, I know, if I have this attitude, no woman will be attracted to me, and I'll fail at anything I do. Well, I have consistently tried to "strap on my boots" and suck it up and "make it happen," but the continued failure is really beginning to hurt, badly. All I can think of is when times were better, and it's almost overwhelming. Each successive failure makes it harder to pick myself back up. This damn economy makes my job search difficult, and it's hard to meet women or socialize when you're living at home and working in a mailroom. I just can't seem to break out of this rut. I know I'm capable of so much more happiness, and I want it to happen right now...

[Samantha]

Welcome to life and its many ups and downs. I know it sucks, but your life's not as bad as you think it is. Your brain has gotten you stuck in a rut. Not to sound like a mom, but you at least have a job (my friend is in tears everyday, because she can't even get a temp job) you may hate it, but at least you have some income. My other friend lost her boyfriend in the WTC attack (she's really a mess). Things could be so much worse for you and you don't even realize it. Why don't you really take a good look at your life and when you wake up in the morning start saying nice things to yourself rather than negative. Instead of saying wow I've been cheated on and dumped - I'm such a victim, why don't you say, Wow, I've been cheated on and dumped by this girl who I thought was worthy of my love, and thank god I realized what a low life creep she was. Thank you God for making me see what a creep this girl was before I actually married her and then found out. Once somebody comes along who you really love in the future, you'll look back and thank this girl for dumping you, cause if you were still with her, you wouldn't have this new great, wonderful girl.

 

Your 25 and your in a stupid, cruddy mailroom. So what. It could be worse, you could be 25 without a job, or you could be a junky on a street corner who couldn't hold down a job to save his life. At least you're a responsible person and a hard worker. That tells me you're a decent guy. You're not going to be in the mailroom forever. I was a receptionist at the age of 25. Now I'm 30 yrs old and I'm an account executive for an ad agency. Who'd have known back then, that I'd have this great job now. What you've got to realize is that nothing (GOOD OR BAD) is permanent in your life. Life throws things at you that you'd never expect, for better and for worse. You can't experience great joy, unless you experience great pain. Otherwise you wouldn't be able to notice and appreciate those great moments. Why do you think spoiled bratts who always get what they want are so miserable? They don't know what it's like to hear the word NO. They're usually bored, selfish and mean and never really experience what it's like to be happy and don't appreciate very much. One day when you're happy again, you'll appreciate and look back on this time now, and realize you've come a long way. You'll actually be proud of yourself. More proud of yourself than you were when you had a great job and a great girl a couple of months/years (whatever) ago.

 

When people are in a rut, they usually do something different to change their lives. Whenever I've lost a job, gotten dumped, fight with a friend, etc. I usually will do something to change my life, no matter how small it is. Some people cut their hair, some people buy a new outfit (small things). Then you have people who really hate, hating life and they'll move to a new apartment, state, country or whatever. I remember joining a kick-boxing class. It was the first step to feeling better about myself and my life. Maybe you should take a course or class in something. Just a little hint - in my kick-boxing class there were a lot of young single women. Join a gym. Start to take care of you, even if it's just a little something, like cutting sugar out of your diet, just do something to take care of you. It will slowly regenerate your self-esteem. Just look at every bad thing that's happening and think to yourself, it could be worse and then actually think of how it could be worse (don't say it couldn't be worse, cause it could) and then think about how lucky you were that it wasn't.

 

I hope you feel better and I hope you find happiness soon. It's really up to you. You can't rely on people to make you happy. That would be unhealthy and will make you come across as needy. That's what can be a big turn-off.

[Ed]

Yep! You've got a pretty bad outlook on life right now. You probably don't want to read this, much less believe it, but things could be worse. For starters, you could be completely jobless or without parents that are willing and able to provide you with a place to stay or both.

 

Everybody fails from time to time. What I have learned from failure is not that I won't fail again, but that I can and will make it - in spite of failure. Every time I fail at something, unless or until it kills me, I still wake up and there is another day with the potential for success.

 

Don't even worry about a girlfriend right now. I don't mean don't socialize at all, but focus most of your time and money you do make on bettering your employment status and living arrangements. Whether it be moving up or moving on, keep trying for that new position - keep applying for other jobs until you are on a track you feel better about. Once your employment status improves, you can start looking for another place to live. If you feel you would be better off not living with your parents, then try to find a reliable roommate.

 

Give yourself a break, but don't expect anyone else to. Just keep trying. Things will get better for you one day.

[shesoofine]

Two years ago, I was in a serious relationship, living with the girl, had a decent job, and was the happiest I have pretty much ever been. Since then, I've been cheated on, dumped, and lost my job...and am living with my folks at age 25, and working a temp job in a mailroom. I bust my ass every day to try to move up in all these things, but havent had any success whatsoever over the last six months. I feel like such a loser. Yeah, I know, if I have this attitude, no woman will be attracted to me, and I'll fail at anything I do. Well, I have consistently tried to "strap on my boots" and suck it up and "make it happen," but the continued failure is really beginning to hurt, badly. All I can think of is when times were better, and it's almost overwhelming. Each successive failure makes it harder to pick myself back up. This damn economy makes my job search difficult, and it's hard to meet women or socialize when you're living at home and working in a mailroom. I just can't seem to break out of this rut. I know I'm capable of so much more happiness, and I want it to happen right now...

THE BEST THING FOR YOU TO O WOULD BE TO PRAY AND ASK FOR GOD'S HELP, FOR HE IS THE ONLY ONE THT CAN SAVE YOU FROM YOUR SELF.......HE ALWAYS HELPS ME