An update from an old story

[broken guy]

I stopped using this place about a year ago as I believed that it was holding me in a place that only caused me pain to read about peoples losses over and over again. Short story. Dumped after ex has a long affair and lies to me about it, I never confront her with evidence, get dumped with a lie over email whilst out of the country. Dumped for a fat, ugly player.

6 months pass and I write a letter apologised for my actions and that I miss her. Then realize I need to see her to say bye. She emails me and says it was surprising to see a mail from me as she was just about to do the same. She comes back from her visit home, tells me that she needs some time to digest my letter, agrees to meet. The　delays it as something had happened and she neeeded time to deal with it.

We meet and have a nice chat, I am there to say bye but something is wrong with her. She eventually confessed that she was dumped 3 weeks ago and she didnt know why. He had been real nasty to her in the final month. I say Im sorry (NOT!) and am about to say I told her so before she stops me and tells me not to say thay. That I was to only one who tried to warn her about him. We go for a meal, have a nice talk, she says if we had just met now trhings would be different. An obvious reference to applying the lessons learnt. She asks me to help her buy a PC and meet for drink and food. She hugs me on the train back, tells me it was great seeing me again, looks at me numerous time from the platform and thenb texts me asking me what I was doing and that it was great seeing me again, again!

Things go well, we get on like a house on fire, I meet her new friends, they like me, I like them. I take her oout for a meal on my birthday and pay for it (I had put her through a bad one the yeat before). 2 days later, she meets me and pre-dumps me! I dont speak for a week to her, I wasnt planning on asking her out. She calls me and messages me trying to get me back in her life. I agree and we try again. Things go great again. Apart from one night where one of her friends was trying to be a smart bitch so I put her down, she turns to the ex and says that Im an ass and no wonder we had broken up. To my shcok, they clink gallses over this comment. I say noithing and dont cause a scene.

We go out for Halloween and we bump into the fat ex. She points him out to her friends who are visably shocked at the sight of him, they had not seen him before. We go to a bar and she spends moist of the night chatting and dancing with a guy she slept with once. I find that it really hurts to see that. We spend all day together and eat food the next day. Things are going great, it seems.

One night, I get attacked in my apartmenbt building. As it happens, I think about the ex. I know that I have to tell her that I still love her and want a 2nd chance. WHo knows, I might get killed tomorrow. I go round to her place and tell her. Again, it goes reallt well. We even laugh a bit. She asks would I be happy with her knowing she had been with someone else, confesses what her family thought of me yet she didnt　 care as she wanted to make me a happy hoome. I dont push the issue and take my leave.

Just over a week later, she texts me and asks how I am and that she wasnt angry, just busy and thinking. I wait and wait and wait. 3 weeks later, I am at the end of my patience. I send her a Xmas present and a letter saying all I didnt that night and addressing some of the isses she brought up. I dont get any reply. I try to contact her before she goes home for Xmas, nothing. Im in a panic, whats wrong, Is she OK? I eventually get a short mail saying shes OK and no need to worry. I then wait another 2 weeks and she f***s me off via email AGAIN and tells me nevcer to cointact her in anyway ever again. She blames the letter.

Needless to say, Im devistated. I have since discovered that she never wanted us to end,m she cares about me and wants me in her life but she does not know what to do as my feelings make her uncomfortable. She still feels that she dumped me in the best way she could but also will always feel guilty and bad for hurting me the way she did.

I just thought that we deserved a 2nd chance and, at times, it looked as if she did too, she even alluded to it by saying there is still a part of her that wants to be with me.

Well,m that was 5 months ago. She has told my friend to tell me tnot to contqct her, she is scared of me and does not want top change her number. I have NOT been hassling her. I sent her a couple of messages in Jan/Feb. Despite this, she tells others that she still wants me about!

Well, I have asked for a final meeting to sort this out. She has ignored me text so an email has been sent. I dont hate her at all, I just want to say bye.

What do you all think about her/my actions?

[Yamaha]

I think she is not ready for a relationship and this is her way of ending things with you. Timing is very important in having a serious relationship (vs a casual one) and I think she see's you as wanting the serious kind and she is not ready. You scare her because she feels some guilt and just wants to forget you and go on so I would do the same. If you continue to IM her or email things could get worse for you so accept it and move on.

[whichwayisup]

You need to leave her alone. She says one thing yet her actions show another. Everytime you two talk and get together, things are OK for afew days and then she turns around and does a 180 on ya. She has issues and honestly, sorry to say this, but she is NOT into you nor does she respect you or your feelings.

 

Please do yourself a favour and don't email/call/see her again. And if at some point she makes attempts to contact you, IGNORE it or just tell HER never to contact you again.

[Sup]

Um, No offense, but what part of, "shes pulling your chain", "she's stringing you along", "playing with your mind" do you not get. Get away from her before she REALLY messes you up. My opinion, shes playin ya, MAN. And SHE don't care!

[broken guy]

She has not contacted me in any way what so ever since February. I have not contacted her until a couple of weeks ago trying to smooth something out a friend had caused by emailing her saying she was an idiot and rotton for what she did. I then simply asked to meet coz I just wanna see her, say my piece and say bye. She called me a few days ago but I coulddnt talk as I was waiting for an important call. She saw a friends of mine over the weekend and had some stuff to say to him, yet I dont want to hear anything from him, if she wants to say something, she can tell me herself. He says she wont tell me anything. Regardless, I triedn to call her to arrange a meeting last night but her phone didnt ring. She was expecting my call.

She has never strung me along, pulled my chain etc. I think that when we became friends again after her getting treated like s*** and dumped, she may very well have used me coz I was there for her, in fact, the only one there for her come to think of it. In that respect, you may have a point. But you cant help it of you love someone. We had a serious relationship for 4 years. I raealize people change but they essentially do not lose what makes them who they are, hence the fact I still love her. I know there is nothing I can do about it, I know she wont come back, I know all this and it still upsets me. Added to all this my parents divorce, lose of house and job at the same time, its hard to get by.

[visotech]

She is definitely not ready for any sort of relationship. You should not allow yourself to be toyed with in such a manner - even after all that do you still want her?

[cutie22387]

wow she's alot to handle. do you really want to be with someone who does know what she wants?