sick of it Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 so i found this on another site. its obvious and many figure this out on their own. but its something i must have been avoiding.... I believe time alone doesn't heal. You have to want to get over your ex and constantly try to see yourself happy without them. As long as you focus on the fear that you'll never meet anyone else, the anger that they left, or the hope you'll get them back, you'll stay pretty much stuck in the same place. Of course, you need to take time to grieve the end of a relationship, but you also need to keep looking and moving forward - not backwards. It’s important to do new things, meet new people and create new memories. Gradually, as you force yourself to interact with others, you will start to find yourself enjoying at least parts of life again. If keeping yourself busy was the only solution to getting over an ex, then none of us would be here. It's a combination of doing these things, time and crucially adopting the right attitude that works. Link to post Share on other sites
bonny doon Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 great post but i would add one thing - it's that moving on too quickly to create "new memories with new people" is wonderful, but *not* if you are having new relationships or pseudo-relationships. i know i definitely do the breakup relay race, where you pass the baton to someone else. that usually ends up going down in flames. *chuckling to self at my stupidity recently*. yeah, flames. Link to post Share on other sites
visotech Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 It seems the quick answer everyone has is "Surround yourself with friends and family, take up new hobbies, enjoy time with yourself..." While all these are positive things that will keep your mind off a breakup, lets not overlook the fact that new hobbies and friends/family are not replacements for a lost love. It would be an insult to love itself if you could replace it with friendship. Getting over someone is more than keeping yourself occupied, its about comming to a realization that one day you will fall in love agian. Link to post Share on other sites
bendit Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 This is good. its really all about "acceptance" isn't it? accepting that it really is over. accepting that things have changed. accepting that she is with someone new. accepting that life goes on. accepting that spring always follows winter. Good. You are moving to acceptance. This is GRAND. Open your mind up to a life that might include hundreds if not thousands of potential mates that could help you with your own happiness. they ARE out there. Imagine if only one person PER lifetime could be all that we were allotted to help make us happy and fulfilled. Life doesn't work that way, thank goodness. I like your post. Its all about ACCEPTANCE. regards Link to post Share on other sites
GB111 Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Seems to me that alot of it is about getting past rejection too. Many of the posts I see are from people who are terribly upset about relationships that were obviously disfunctional at best. Rejection is a very powerful emotion that can easily kick common sense to the curb. If you can get past the rejection, many LS posters would be glad they're moving on with their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
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