Shoudl I stay with her or should I just split??

[Guest]

hi i am new to this website. anyways me and my girlfriend have been goin out for 2 years now and we love each other very much. we were best friends before that for 4 years, so we are really close. we are both seniors in high school and will be goin to different cities for college. we only be 2 hours away, but its still a long distance relationship. last month she told me that she is "in love" with me and wants to get married after college. that kinda freaked me out, but now i am realizing that, if and only if, we make it through college i could see myself marryin her. as we have our ups we also have our downs. lately we have been argueing about stupid things. and i am not a very patient person so all of this arguing is really startin to push me over the edge. so i kinda want to break up and go our seperate ways becasue of all the agruing and i will be meetin so many new girls that it will be hard for me not to cheat on her. she says that no matter what i do she wants to be with me. and i don't want to break her heart by sayin that i don't want to go out wit her, but again college and us arguin really makes me want to. so should i stay with her and get through the arguin and college or should i leave her?

[MadDog]

You have to realize that going to college and not seeing each other as much as you used to is a big transition for both of you. Conflicts (arguments) that arise as a result are both normal and expected. Don't be so ready to throw your relationship down the drain if you really care for her just because you've been arguing more recently.

 

What you should do is sit her down and have a nice long talk with her. Ask her what her expectations are (how often she wants to see you, talk to you on the phone, etc), how she feels about being in different towns, how she'll handle meeting new people (including guys), etc. The best thing you can do right now is to get things out in the open so there aren't any surprises.

[Ayumi]

hi i am new to this website. anyways me and my girlfriend have been goin out for 2 years now and we love each other very much. we were best friends before that for 4 years, so we are really close. we are both seniors in high school and will be goin to different cities for college. we only be 2 hours away, but its still a long distance relationship. last month she told me that she is "in love" with me and wants to get married after college. that kinda freaked me out, but now i am realizing that, if and only if, we make it through college i could see myself marryin her. as we have our ups we also have our downs. lately we have been argueing about stupid things. and i am not a very patient person so all of this arguing is really startin to push me over the edge. so i kinda want to break up and go our seperate ways becasue of all the agruing and i will be meetin so many new girls that it will be hard for me not to cheat on her. she says that no matter what i do she wants to be with me. and i don't want to break her heart by sayin that i don't want to go out wit her, but again college and us arguin really makes me want to. so should i stay with her and get through the arguin and college or should i leave her?

 

you have to realize that your tastes in women and your whole life and whole view on everything will change in college. I used to be the same too, but things change.....

[Keen]

I hate to sound like one of the adults who still lecture me on my online relationships, but it bears repeating - you're still pretty young for your age, and you should look at the world before you decide.

 

So I'm behind you when you say that you're not really ready for marriage and wish to see other girls first. It is only natural that you want to explore, it's also a good opportunity for you to get to know YOURSELF, because in your encounters with girls, you'll learn what you like or don't like, what you can put up with in the long run. These things will later help you decide when you're ready to lay your life down for a truly worthy girl.

 

On your gf's point of view though, well..females have a nesting instinct, so even at a young age they feel a desire to be grounded, to build a dream, to find security in being with a guy. We won't know if she is truly in love with you or if it's just a crush - we can only find that out through going through a lot of life's ups and downs, in short - a lot of s*** LOL and at the end of it if either one thinks he or she still loves you, then I'd say that's a chance of true love.

I could go on and on more about this, but I won't digress.

 

So maybe you could explain to her gently, that you feel that you're not ready yet. Explain that you're both going to different schools, it will be a lot to take in - whole new environment, new studies, new people around you. Don't make it as if you're abandoning her just because you're both going elsewhere. In fact, you two can still go out on dates after school if you can meet up right?

 

It will not be easy, but above all else, DO NOT descend into another shouting, arguing match or it will damage your relationship. Be calm, and if she starts jumping, just sit through it and wait for her to calm down, then say it again.

 

Good luck.