habit or love?

[Guest]

the story goes like this in october 2004 i met a girl who i had my first serious relationship with it lasted for year and a half during witch we broke up for small periods of time for three times i broke up every time and every time i wanted her back the reason for my breaking up was that i ve felt she wasnt the right person for me but everytime we broke up i changed my feelings and got back with her,the last time we broke up two months ago i got a new girlfriend who i thought was perfect for me and all i ever wanted,i was with that girl for one month and had nc with my ex after one month of nc i went out for a drink with my ex and she told me she met a guy who she kissed and after that i felt really bad and couldnt stop thinking about it that harmed my new relationship and i broke up with"perfect girl" after witch i started seeing my ex more ofently and we head a great time and now im not interested in any other girl but mx first ex and she is afraid of giving me one more chance,i dont know is it because i never had a real relationship and i culdnt compare what i had with that first girl tonothing to figure out how nice it was or is it just a habit or i dont know what it is but it afected me being in a very bad emotional condition for past one month just thinking what to do...im torn go on or go back to my ex...please help!