why can't i get my d*** wet somewhere else?

[basscatcher]

It seems this man is more of a polygimist then anything. He wants his wife but several lovers. Ugh.

http://www.context.org/ICLIB/IC10/Anapol.htm

[hotgurl]

you know what you do call off the wedding find some chick who is down with the open relationship things. It is really s***ty that you know your wife is very much against this and you are still planning on doing it.

 

Tell her straight up I expect to be able to sleep with other women after our marriage. Then let he decide what she wants to do.

 

You said you didn't want kids right. what if sh disreagarded you wishes and got pregnant how would you feel.

 

what is she found out what you were doing and decided to have some strange herself. How would you feel. Would you let your wife have sex with other men. if she wnated too?

[blind_otter]

I just don't get why people can't think for themselves, why everyone goes by this moral code that was decided before you existed and you think you HAVE to abide by that. That's more I guess what I am asking about.

 

I'm not just being a pig, this truly baffles me. Honestly.

 

Well, I rebelled against moral codes for a long time. I found that, for the most part, the rules are there for a reason. Because they have been tested over time, and things tend to be easier when you follow those rules.

 

I asked my Dad about it the other day. He said that sometimes things don't make sense until you're old enough to understand, and by that time you might have a lot of regrets about the things you did when you didn't really understand.

 

It sounds to me like you have an issue with anyone that you perceive in a position of authority dictating your behavior.

 

I understand that.

 

But what I'm saying is -- when you love someone, sometimes you have to accept that they want different things in their life. And that's what compromise is.

 

She doesn't want you to be with anyone else. Even if you can't understand that now, why is it difficult for you to just want to do something to please her and make her happy?

 

I've had a lot of partners. I also have to say that none of my relationships began with the intention of starting a relationship. Most all of them began with casual sexual encounters.

 

I didn't understand the concept of fidelity all that much, in the past, either. I cheated on a man I was engaged to last year. I ended up leaving that man for the guy I cheated with, even though the guy I was cheating with and I had an agreement that it was just casual, just for sex. We never even hung out before i left my fiancee for him.

 

It just happened. That's the thing. A lot of this stuff "just happens" -- that's why you shouldn't do it in the first place. Just the mere fact that a casual sexual encounter CAN turn into a romance.

[CalHound]

It seems this man is more of a polygimist then anything. He wants his wife but several lovers. Ugh.

http://www.context.org/ICLIB/IC10/Anapol.htm

 

Way to not be judgmental. And feel to talk to me instead of referring to me in order to insult me. I'm right here.

 

And no, I am affiliated with zero religious factions, don't put me in with them. Just because people may have one similar idea does not mean they are alike.

 

You have a very canned, juvenile way of thinking and applying it marginally.

[TheSwordfish]

I think callhound is eitehr fake or an idiot.

 

Sorry dude, but who would want to sleep with an uggly married man? Y:p

 

Now seriously. You shouldn't marry if the both of you don't agree on this issue. It will hunt you and will probably become an issue later on.

[CalHound]

 

 

 

You said you didn't want kids right. what if sh disreagarded you wishes and got pregnant how would you feel.

 

Well, that would also be partly my doing, so how could I possibly blame her?

 

If I took part in the sex, I dove headfirst into the chance that it might happen. Same with my marriage.

 

My alsmot wife and I don't argue about this, she's just aware of how I feel and let's me know that she doesn't agree. It pretty much ends there.

[Art_Critic]

You need to break off the engagment and not marry her..

 

Do the right thing..

[hotgurl]

We have discussed it. She is still marrying me. I have said we don't want kids.

 

\

 

Relly you have how? Did you point blank say i intend to sleep with other women after our marriage. Did you make sure she took you seriously? Did you say it in a joking way?

 

I was bring it up once more before the wedding say honey I love you but I will sleep with as many other women during the corse of our marrige as I please. I am not kidding I am dead serious. I will not under any circumstances be faithful to you.

 

Do you expect her to remain faithful to you?

[SoleMate]

Well, CalHound, I think you've already gotten the message that most LS'ers don't approve of your plan to fulfill your desires.

 

I'm curious...what is your motivation in asking this question? I am guessing that you are not comfortable with the idea that you are planning to do something (have extramarital sex without your wife's permission or knowledge) that is so condemned. You are hoping to find some justification for your decision to "use other holes". You must feel some urge to debate this issue. I wish you had more of an open mind.

 

So it's okay to have feelings for someone else, it's okay to emotionally betray someone in my mind...

You will rarely find support for the idea on Loveshack. Here, the general understanding is that EAs (emotional affairs) can be as damaging or more damaging than PAs (physical affairs).

 

But not having feelings and using another hole is what is seen as wrong?

That's a PA and many people with experience in relationships will tell you that EAs and PAs are both destructive to the r/s.

 

You don't appear to want to have your mind changed, CalHound.

 

...I just don't get why people can't think for themselves, why everyone goes by this moral code that was decided before you existed and you think you HAVE to abide by that...

If you're talking about the Old Testament, probably 90% of the US adult population deserves to be put to death. So, that moral code is no longer used. Moral codes develop and change over time. Granted, some may appear arbitrary, whereas others were instituted for reasons that no longer appear valid: like assuring political powerlessness of women. Most of those codes have been greatly altered. Some ideas that may appear as "moral codes" to you are based on fundamental truths about human biology, emotions and society. Human pair bonding is the bedrock of our society. It is enhanced and supported by monogamy, and undermined by the activities your describe.

 

If you're an open minded guy, only fair for you wife-to-be to understand that your pants are even more open than your mind.

 

You may end up hurting a lot of people. Some of those emotional woemn whose "holes" you "use" may fall in love with you. They'll surely be hurt.

 

As careful as you are, you may cause a pregnancy, either with your wife or with one of anonymous "hole" possessors. Imagine having to tell your wife (before she gets told by someone else) that another woman is carrying your child and has refused an abortion.

 

The last thought that I would use to talk myself out of a decision like you are making, is that it almost certainly will lead to a lot of avoidable pain for the woman you love. So much so, that one day, probably years and years from now, she will regret ever meeting you and may even grow to hate you.

 

There are some prudes and self-righteous people on LS, sure; there are also plenty of open-minded, rational people, who have a lot of first and secondhand experience with the type of activity you describe, and its typical result.

 

Please give your fiancee my heartfelt condolences. I am so sorry for her. I say this not as a slap at you, but out of true compassion for a new bride who won't be given the gift that she would likely cherish above almost any other.

[CalHound]

I think callhound is eitehr fake or an idiot.

 

Sorry dude, but who would want to sleep with an uggly married man? Y:p

 

 

Yeah, I'm ugly. Grow up.

[basscatcher]

In , polygyny is a practice in which a male has more than one female sexual partner. This is the most common form of . The opposite form—where a female has more than one male sexual partner —is known as .

[JadeStar]

Yeah, I'm ugly. Grow up.

 

 

 

Maybe this is it right here? Are you being sarcastic or do you really feel you are "ugly" If so, maybe thats why you feel the need to have sex with others? To fill that empy void of not feeling worthy of yourself or looks?

 

 

 

 

Jade

[CalHound]

Well, CalHound, I think you've already gotten the message that most LS'ers don't approve of your plan to fulfill your desires.

 

I wish you had more of an open mind.

 

 

You will rarely find support for the idea on Loveshack. Here, the general understanding is that EAs (emotional affairs) can be as damaging or more damaging than PAs (physical affairs).

 

 

That's a PA and many people with experience in relationships will tell you that EAs and PAs are both destructive to the r/s.

 

You don't appear to want to have your mind changed, CalHound.

 

 

If you're talking about the Old Testament, probably 90% of the US adult population deserves to be put to death. So, that moral code is no longer used. Moral codes develop and change over time. Granted, some may appear arbitrary, whereas others were instituted for reasons that no longer appear valid: like assuring political powerlessness of women. Most of those codes have been greatly altered. Some ideas that may appear as "moral codes" to you are based on fundamental truths about human biology, emotions and society. Human pair bonding is the bedrock of our society. It is enhanced and supported by monogamy, and undermined by the activities your describe.

 

If you're an open minded guy, only fair for you wife-to-be to understand that your pants are even more open than your mind.

 

You may end up hurting a lot of people. Some of those emotional woemn whose "holes" you "use" may fall in love with you. They'll surely be hurt.

 

As careful as you are, you may cause a pregnancy, either with your wife or with one of anonymous "hole" possessors. Imagine having to tell your wife (before she gets told by someone else) that another woman is carrying your child and has refused an abortion.

 

The last thought that I would use to talk myself out of a decision like you are making, is that it almost certainly will lead to a lot of avoidable pain for the woman you love. So much so, that one day, probably years and years from now, she will regret ever meeting you and may even grow to hate you.

 

There are some prudes and self-righteous people on LS, sure; there are also plenty of open-minded, rational people, who have a lot of first and secondhand experience with the type of activity you describe, and its typical result.

 

Please give your fiancee my heartfelt condolences. I am so sorry for her. I say this not as a slap at you, but out of true compassion for a new bride who won't be given the gift that she would likely cherish above almost any other.

 

 

Some of the quotes you used from me were not my thoughts, they were being used to show the hypocrisy when compared to something else. There was more to it than what you put here.

 

Thank you for your input.

 

I think it's funny thatI am being asked to have an open mind, but I often feel like I am the only one who does.

[Spiderman]

You feel the need to have sex with others? To fill that empy void

 

The dirty little so & so wants to fill every empty void he can by the sounds of it!

[basscatcher]

Polygyny is a practice in which a male has more than one female sexual partner. This is the most common form of Polygyny.

 

The opposite form polyandry—where a female has more than one male sexual partner.

 

Polygamy is used in a broad sense to mean any form of multiple mating.

 

Corrected above. My server slowed down on me so I couldn't make the necessary changes in the time allowed. Damn it anyways..

[CalHound]

The dirty little so & so wants to fill every empty void he can by the sounds of it!

 

Hey. I'm trying to be honest here. Why is that so wrong? What gives you the right to insult me? And more importantly, why are you? This is all you know of me. I might be your best friend.

[TheDiva]

My moralities aside, I fail to see one reason why you should marry this woman. You don't want children and you wish to bang whatever catches your fancy. Fair enough, I suppose. But look at the traditional marriage vows, this is what you are agreeing to when you marry someone.

 

 

 

Celebrant to Groom:

(Groom's Name), do you take (Bride's Name) for your lawful wedded wife, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish her from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto her for as long as you both shall live?

 

Groom:

I do.

 

Celebrant to Bride:

(Bride's Name), do you take (Groom's Name) for your lawful wedded husband, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him for as long as you both shall live?

 

Bride

I do.

 

or

 

I, (Bride/Groom), take (you/thee) (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.

 

 

 

You are going into marriage with this woman not intending to take your vows seriously. Please, live with her, build a life with her if this is what you both truly want. BUT you need to be upfront with her. TRUTH/HONESTY are really what glues a relationship together. This is a major issue, and if you cannot reach a comfortable solution for both of you, I can guarentee the marriage will fail.

[TheSwordfish]

Admitt it Callhound, you just want to keep on visiting parking lots and men's lavatory's to b*ng the cr*p out of georeg micheal and his puppet palls

 

Again, seriously. I think you can have this way of life, if your wife agrees on it. If She doenst, don't marry her or it will become a big problem.

[quankanne]

I might be your best friend.

 

honey, if you were my best friend I'd tell you that what you are proposing is stupid. Either commit to this girl completely, or get out of the ring. She deserves much, much better than what you're proposing, especially in light of the fact that she wants a monogamous relationship.

 

then, because your my best friend and I love you dearly and want the best for you, I'd have to kick your ass. Twice, if need be.

 

but, you're not my best friend, thank God ...

[Sassy]

Obviously you don't have any respect for wife to want to be with other women! You shouldn't marry at all. Men like you give men a bad name. Women are more than just a piece of meat . They have feelings and for you to think it is ok to do who ever you want and think it is ok after marrying . You have lost your damn mind. Hopefully your fiance will wake up and dump you.

[hotgurl]

everyone elses morality aside this is about you wanting a certain lifestyle (swinging) and your (furture) wife wanting a faithful partner.

 

 

I don't think people would be as angry with you if your (furture)wife wanted to swing as well. What people are upset about is that your (furture) wife has stated she doesn't want this and you are disregarding her feeling about and plan on doing something you know will hurt her and she is against.

 

And you didn't answer my question about how you discussed this with your wife. If you simply brought this up as I think it would be neat too... and she said no that would be bad and it ended there than you really didn't have a proper discussion about this topic.

[Lishy]

Why are you at this site?

 

You are wasting precious time ... you could be out scouting for girls to stick it into, you dont want ya dick to dry up!

[blind_otter]

TheDiva brings up an excellent point.

 

Why are you marrying your fiancee if you disagree with everything marriage represents?

 

See, I don't agree with marriage myself and I behave accordingly. I will never get married again.

 

but, it seems to me like you're asking for a justification for hypocrisy?

[CalHound]

I might be your best friend.

 

honey, if you were my best friend I'd tell you that what you are proposing is stupid. Either commit to this girl completely, or get out of the ring. She deserves much, much better than what you're proposing, especially in light of the fact that she wants a monogamous relationship.

 

then, because your my best friend and I love you dearly and want the best for you, I'd have to kick your ass. Twice, if need be.

 

but, you're not my best friend, thank God ...

 

That wasn't to you.

 

But it's good to know that your friends are judged by you this way.

[CalHound]

TheDiva brings up an excellent point.

 

Why are you marrying your fiancee if you disagree with everything marriage represents?

 

See, I don't agree with marriage myself and I behave accordingly. I will never get married again.

 

but, it seems to me like you're asking for a justification for hypocrisy?

 

 

No. I love her. I want to be married to her.

 

I don't need justification. A piece of paper signed by Loveshack isn't going to get me anywhere. I just wanted to talk about it with different people. Gees.