Donna Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 My boyfriend was unwilling to leave his long time gf for me. We have been madly in love and best friends for the last 2 years (while he was still with his long time gf), however, as i was unable to cope with the pain of being the "other woman" anymore, i forced him to make a decision and he chose her. he hopes to be good friends with me still, so do i, but i am fiding this very hard and confusing, because he still cares about me very much. although he openly said he does not love me anymore, i am finding his mannerism very confusing because we seem to be more than just "good friends". alhtough i have not seen him for a while now and we only tallk occasionally, i can't stop thinking about him all the time. i feel painful and miserable. can someone help me please? Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 I hate to say it but I question whether or not this guy ever loved you. It just doesn't add up I'm afraid. Your whole relationship sounds to me more like ego gratification on his part. I don't know your situation but I know that I wouldn't be amenable to being ranked as second-best by someone who claimed to love me. If you ask me he likes the idea that you're still in love with him. It's flattering and probably reassuring to know that not only does he have the love of his loyal gf but he's got you in the background, adding to the glow of his rosy little world. Yes, it must be nice to have someone willing to swallow her heart and her pride and suffer along under the label of "friend" even though she actually loves him. Why wouldn't he encourage you to keep the flame burning by sending mixed signals? It's all good for him, right? He sounds like a selfish, thoughtless and very immature person. I very much doubt he's actually capable of loving anyone -- you or his gf. I'd write him off entirely -- as a friend, and certainly as someone to love. He's insulting you by stringing you along. He's not your friend. Find someone who doesn't already have a girlfriend and who appreciates and respects you. This guy doesn't, I promise you. Link to post Share on other sites
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