guitar71 Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 i've been having growing problems with my wife for several years. we have a child (i work, she stays at home) and she has lost almost all interest in sex, holding hands, even kissing. she has a male best friend (who is single) whom she insists join us on an almost every weekend for whatever activity we do. she has been insulting, blows up over every small issue, and can be very moody and mean. on some days it is ok, but other days she can blow up over very small issues and it becomes a multiday fight. help! Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 she has a male best friend (who is single)whom she insists join us on an almost every weekend for whatever activity we do. ding ding ding ding ding This seems really really odd to say the least. Link to post Share on other sites
slinkysu Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 ding ding ding ding ding This seems really really odd to say the least. Have to agree with sumdude here. Your wife sounds like she is displaying all the classic (and infantile) characteristics of someone in a relationship, who doesn't want to be in a relationship, behaving as badly and as unreasonably as possible so as to lead you to do the dirty work and break up with her. Sit her down - explain to her that her actions are causing you grief and hurt. tell her it is unacceptable for her to have her single friend round every weekend and that you as a couple need to take time out to reconnect. Tell her that her single friend is more than welcome to baby sit whilst you two go out for a romantic dinner and comunicate again. If she is unwilling to work at the marriage then you should recommend a counsellor or ask her where she wants to go from here. Hope that you are okay - it's a horrid position to be in but you must sit her down and explain to her that this can not go on any longer. There should only be 2 people in a marriage and her third wheel friend needs to take a hike until your relationship gets back on track. Link to post Share on other sites
corwin Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 I think it's time you put on your Investigator hat and start some intelligence gathering. Check phone records (including cell phone) to see how often she talks to this "friend". Put a key-logger on the computer to find out what's in her emails, IM Chats, or Web Sites visited. Maybe even put a voice activated recorder on the home phone if phone logs show they talk all the time. The phone recorder may be illegal where you live so be careful with that. If, after your investigation, you find no emotional or physical affair, I'd try and get her into marriage counselling with you ASAP. Good Luck and I hope everything turns up negative for an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guitar71 Posted May 21, 2006 Author Share Posted May 21, 2006 how would you define an emotional affair? am i being "too jealous" and possessive - is it wrong for my wife to have a friend of the opposite sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Sup Posted May 21, 2006 Share Posted May 21, 2006 how would you define an emotional affair? am i being "too jealous" and possessive - is it wrong for my wife to have a friend of the opposite sex? NO! you're NOT TOO JEALOUS! Link to post Share on other sites
Author guitar71 Posted May 21, 2006 Author Share Posted May 21, 2006 the problem is that she is not excluding me from the activities - she thinks that she is being open and honest and is not cheating - that she just has a male friend - who happens to be single and has no girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guitar71 Posted May 21, 2006 Author Share Posted May 21, 2006 if she is unwilling to have the friend take a hike, what is the next step? is this enough to leave her? Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 i've been having growing problems with my wife for several years. we have a child (i work, she stays at home) and she has lost almost all interest in sex, holding hands, even kissing. she has a male best friend (who is single) whom she insists join us on an almost every weekend for whatever activity we do. she has been insulting, blows up over every small issue, and can be very moody and mean. on some days it is ok, but other days she can blow up over very small issues and it becomes a multiday fight. help! Wake up call! The only difference between the Titantic and your marriage is the Titantic had a band as "She" went down! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 how would you define an emotional affair? am i being "too jealous" and possessive - is it wrong for my wife to have a friend of the opposite sex? In a word? YES! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 how would you define an emotional affair? am i being "too jealous" and possessive - is it wrong for my wife to have a friend of the opposite sex? It's one thing to have a freind of the opposite sex. Another to have that freind be a constant part of her life infringing on your marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
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