He came over to my house

[Twink]

Well, some of you know my ex left me and my son on easter, without any warning. I tried to talk to him and make our relationship work out but was rejected everytime.

Well last night, I seen him at the grocery store, called him and he answered. I told him I don't want to have hard feeling, asked how he was doing and whats he been up to. He told me he was going camping this weekend with all the friends and his daughter. He invited me to go. I told him it would be really hard for me to go, he said well were going to be friends so we are going to have to get used to being around each other as friends. He said it is going to be really hard for him to see me with another man, but he will get used to it.

Then he said he had something of mine and would like to come over, I told him ok.

 

He came over to my house, we talked about stuff like me starting college in the fall, and friends and family.

We started in about our relationship then we would change the conversation. I tried really hard not to cry in front of him, but I told him I don't think its going to be a good idea for me to go camping with them. Because I am still healing, I told him he seems to be handling this well. He said it is a poker face. He told me he loved me and still loves me and misses my son, and wants to maybe in the future take me and my son camping. I told him right, now I don't think it is a good idea to take my son camping with him, because he never said good bye, and my son would think he was back in our lives. He told me he wants to be his friend. I told him maybe in the future but right now its not good, he caused me to have a lot of insercurities from rejecting me and I started to talk to him about the relationship again. Then I stopped and told him, I have already told you how I feel. He told me his friends have a bet if we are going to get back together, I laughed about it. He told me in our relationship I was not listening to him. I told him I can see his point of view, and this is a learning leason for me maybe to take that and learn from it so in my next relationship I can be more understanding. I told him yes, it will be hard for me to see him with someone else, but I love him enough to want him to be happy no matter what. I told him I would have tried to make things work with him, do things a little different. At the end of the conversation he told me he had to leave because he had to work, he hugged me for a long time sighed in my ear and I told him see you around, and maybe in the future we can hang out and thanks for the offer to go camping. He got really quite and left. I also told him that I am happy he was in my life and I will remember the good times and be happy it happened. I told him sometimes people come into your life for a reason and then leave.

Well, I went to the store to get some cigs, and drove by one of the bars by my house, sure enough there he was at the bar, he did not go home like he said.

I feel like the wound is open again, and I don't understand why he would say I love you still. This hurts I don't understand why now he wanted to talk. It was nothing like, I want you back, or can we still be together. He looked really sad a few time, almost in tears. I was healing and doing alot better for this to happen just sucks.

 

Any advice, should I leave him alone and continue to heal or should I try to be his friend?

[MadKurlz]

Sounds like your not ready to be friends. Or he isnt ready either. Keep taking you time and heal 100 % before you make that leap into friendship. Still too vulnerble.

[agnf666]

You two are not ready to be friends just yet. You both need to give it a little more time if you want to be friends. Maybe he was all upset about the conversation he had with you so he went to the bar. Maybe to have a drink to make him feel better or something. I know that is not a good excuse but I was just saying. Keep doing what you have been doing. Try not to run into him for no good reason.

[Mistaken Identity]

Is he seeing another woman?

[Twink]

No, I don't think he is dating anyone else.

 

I had texted him a few times over the weekend, and this week. I finally told him his behavior with talking to me then ingnoring me is very strange and I don't understand it. Well then he calls and said he is not ignoring me I asked him why he never returned my calls. He said he did not get my messages until late and the entire weekend his phone was out of service area and he has just been working and having fun. I asked him what that meant, he said working and going camping, he started talking about how much fun they all had. I told him that is good his daughter had a good time, it was her first time going camping. Then he asked if I wanted to go this weekend with my son, I told him I don't know. Because my son is still crying over him. He said well I can still be his friend, I told him you was his friend, your were more then just a friend you were special to him. I asked him why he tells me he loves me is it just words. He said no it is not words, I asked him then why is he not with me, and I know he says its because he said I was not listening to him. He said he can not answer that right now. I told him I love him and I don't understand why he could not let me work through some of the issues, he would not really answer. He started in on how he has been talking to his friends and how they can care less if he is with me, they all like me. I was kinda crying by then, and he said your at work, I will call you tonight and we can talk some more so your not so upset at work. I told him ok. He is a truck driver, he texted me at 7:30 and said he has not forgotten and will call me around 9. Well no phone call last night. So this morning I was a little worried maybe he got hurt in an accident. So I texted him and asked him if he is ok, he said yes just working. I told him ok, I was worried cause you never called me last night. No response. What does this all mean? I don't understand him at all.

[GB111]

Oh Twink, you are heading down a very painful road. You'd do well to listen to previous advice.

 

My ex, who played every game in the book, would do this to me. She'd say "I'm coming over tonight" or "I'll call you tonight" and NEVER did. This all led up to me getting frustrated, angry, and despondent. Believe me, if he wanted to call, he would have found a way. He's playing with you. It's cruel and nasty, but it happens.

 

Please, take the priors advice and don't speak to him any longer. You will spare yourself (and your son) so much pain and anger. There is nothing to be gained right now. The best thing you can do is send him a message that life goes on without him. Don't play his nasty little game.

 

Best,

 

GB

[Twink]

I love him so much, and I think he left for stupid reasons. I keep thinking he is going to say I want to be with you! I am sorry I left, lets try this again.