I hate porn :(

[Pink_Tulip]

Ok LR, I'll entertain you one more time, but I am beginning to think you are a troll so this will be the last.

 

You say any man who says he wouldn't accept a sexual favor outside marraige is a liar in one post, then agree with me that a moral man wouldn't do such a thing, as long as he is living by MY morals. I pretty much think EVERRYONE thinks accepting sexual favors outside marriage is cheating. Nice try tho.

 

Then you say I am using my H for sex. Let me assure you, he is just not lying there asking me to hurry up as you tried to imply. If he was, I would be quite put off and not be able to continue. If you think its ok to do that to your wife and try to convince me that it isn't degrading to her, you may certainly do that. I, and I am sure your wife, however, disagree. But the point of your silly conjecture was to blow off the fact that I, and MANY women, enjoy lots of sex. That doesn't flow with your silly theories. But rather than try and change the subject on me, why don't you stick with the issue?

 

And again, your nonsense that all men see sex as a powertrip. You have issues, or are a troll. How is it that you came to know ALL men and MOST women again?

 

And I never said a faithful man can't look at porn. You took my words out of context. Nice try.

 

And btw, if my H ever had a watermelon coming out of his ass, I would certainly be concerned for his safety, but seeing as how it would probably be some weird medical issue, I would never think of him as being degraded or humiliated. Does your wife know you assigned those feelings to her?

 

BB. seriously. Have you even read this thread? I love how porn supporters love to tell those of us who have a MORAL or RELIGIOUS issues with porn are just insecure. And if you HAD read, you would see, frequency wasn't an inssue in DD's marriage, her H's lying about an agreed upon boundry was. Please continue to watch your porn. No one here cares.

[Lennox]

The Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn

 

Sex-packed porn films featuring freshly-dyed blondes whose evocative eyes say “I want you” are quite possibly one of the greatest deceptions of all time. Trust me, I know. I did it all the time and I did it for the lust of power and the love of money. I never liked sex. I never wanted sex and in fact I was more apt to spend time with Jack Daniels than some of the studs I was paid to “fake it” with. That’s right none of us freshly-dyed blondes like doing porn. In fact, we hate it. We hate being touched by strangers who care nothing about us. We hate being degraded with their foul smells and sweaty bodies. Some women hate it so much you can hear them vomiting in the bathroom between scenes. Others can be found outside smoking an endless chain of Marlboro lights…

 

But the porn industry wants YOU to think we porn actresses love sex. They want you to think we enjoy being degraded by all kinds of repulsive acts. The truth, porn actresses have showed up on the set not knowing about certain requirements and were told by porn producers to do it or leave without being paid. Work or never work again. Yes, we made the choice. Some of us needed the money. But we were manipulated and coerced and even threatened. Some of us caught HIV from that coercion. I personally caught Herpes, a non-curable sexually transmitted disease. Another porn actress went home after a long night of numbing her pain and put a pistol to her head and pulled the trigger. Now she’s dead.

 

It’s safe to say most women who turn to porn acting as a money-making enterprise, probably didn’t grow up in healthy childhoods either. Indeed, many actresses admit they’ve experienced sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse and neglect by parents. Some were raped by relatives and molested by neighbors. When we were little girls we wanted to play with dollies and be mommies, not have big scary men get on top of us. So we were taught at a young age that sex made us valuable. The same horrible violations we experienced then, we relive through as we perform our tricks for you in front of the camera. And we hate every minute of it. We’re traumatized little girls living on anti-depressants, drugs and alcohol acting out our pain in front of YOU who continue to abuse us.

 

As we continue to traumatize ourselves by making more adult films, we use more and more drugs and alcohol. We live in constant fear of catching AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases. Every time there’s an HIV scare we race to the nearest clinic for an emergency checkup. Pornographers insist giving viewers the fantasy sex they demand all the while sacrificing the very ones who make it happen. In other words, no condoms allowed. Herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, and other diseases are the normal anxieties we walk around with daily. We get tested monthly but we know testing isn’t prevention. Besides worrying about catching diseases from porn sex, there are other harmful activities we engage in that are also very dangerous. Some of us have had physical tearing and damage to internal body parts.

 

When porn actresses call it a day and head home we attempt to have normal healthy relationships but some of our boyfriends get jealous and physically abuse us. So instead we marry our porn directors while others of us prefer lesbian relationships. It’s a real memory making moment when our daughter accidentally walks out and sees mommy kissing another girl. My daughter will vouch for that one.

 

On our days off we walk around like zombies with a beer in one hand and a shot of whiskey in the other. We aren’t up to cleaning so we live in filth most of the time or we hire a sweet foreign lady to come in and clean up our mess. Porn Actresses aren’t the best cooks either. Ordering food in is normal for us and most of the time we throw up after we eat because we’re bulimic.

 

For porn actresses who have children, we are the world’s WORST mothers. We yell and scream and hit our kids for no reason. Most of the time we are intoxicated or high and our four year olds are the ones picking us up off the floor. When clients come over for sex, we lock our children in their rooms and tell them to be quiet. I use to give my daughter a beeper and tell her to wait at the park until I was finished.

 

The truth is there IS NO fantasy in porn. It’s all a lie. A closer look into the scenes of a porn star’s life will show you a movie porn doesn’t want you to see. The real truth is we porn actresses want to end the shame and trauma of our lives but we can’t do it alone. We need you men to fight for our freedom and give us back our honor. We need you to hold us in your strong arms while we sob tears over our deep wounds and begin to heal. We want you throw out our movies and help piece together the shattered fragments of our lives. We need you to pray for us the next fifteen years so God will hear and repair our ruined lives.

 

So don’t believe the lie anymore. Porn is nothing more than fake sex and lies on videotape. Trust me, I know.

 

by Shelley Lubben – Former Porn Actress

Dedicated to all the porn actresses who caught HIV, died from drug overdose and committed suicide.

 

This lady is coming out with a book on what really goes on in the porn industry. If you still think it's "amusing", then you are showing your true colors.

[sunseed]

WHERE did you find this piece?

[LightningRod]

My husband has been diagnosed an addict as well, and we're in counseling together and separately to hopefully get out from under it and into a better relationship.

 

Well I understand where you are coming from now. I hope everything works out well for you and him.

[Lennox]

WHERE did you find this piece?

 

www.shelleylubben.com

 

hope the link works

[LightningRod]

Andrea Dworkin, the most hard core radical feminist everyone slightly right of center LOVED to hate.

 

SHe said the exact same thing you said "Sex is a power trip for men plain and simple. Without it we can't make love to anyone "

 

Lightning Rod, a RADICAL FEMINIST?? Who would have thought??

 

Some people just can't handle truth. Just because sex is a power trip doesn't mean that men can't be compassionate, loving, and exercise self control.

[LightningRod]

Dedicated to all the porn actresses who caught HIV, died from drug overdose and committed suicide.

 

This is what I feel is the true problem with porn. That and some of it is just too extreme. Another problem I have with it is how easily accessible it is for teens.

[LightningRod]

You took my words out of context. Nice try.

 

So it is ok for you to take me out of context then, but when I do it back I am a troll.

 

I never said you were insecure. If you have a moral or religeous reason to be against porn that is fine with me. More power to ya!

[confused423]

so i followed this thread took awhile to read but heres my story.

I was a porn addict, i cant remember how many porn ezines and websites and movies and magizines i have seen. something was always wrong tho, i would always feel unfufilled, it was kinda my single guy escape to pleasure island. When i was single i tried to take a break from it, i couldnt go 2 days without having to look. It wasnt me thinking about going online constantly and finding the porn, it was going out side seeing the women running down the street, going to the gym (yea men look), and then just playing in my imagination with what it looked like underneath. sry if im blunt but i have to be to prove my point. Its about alot more than just porn, a mans eye in a sence is his foreplay by that i mean its what he can see that turns him on more than anything, most men would rather there gf strip, than for her to carress his inner thigh. Its just not the same for men and women and i know youve all been over this but ill just add one more thing its always something wrong with the one whose abusing not those surrounding him. Hes got to stop himself, hes the only one who can.

 

I have a challenge for those of you that said you looked at porn. Try and stop your self lets say a full 2 weeks, can you do it? I couldnt go 2 days, and i didnt know because i never tried. For those of you who think its no big deal to look at porn, in some ways i agree with you, but whats not ok is not having control, how much control do you have over yourself?

 

oh and for the woman who was battered. Dont EVER let him hit you again. And may never lay one finger on his children, if in any way shape or form he abuses those children take them away from him. Work on what ever you must to save your marrige but the kids stay out of it, the world needs healty adults, emotionally healthy, ones that dont become porn addicts. Your children are CHILDREN dont make them more.

 

[lmyers]

COMPROMISE!!!!

 

I think watching pron is a very human response and should be embrassed for such that it is. Obviously he is missing an excitement that he would like to experience with you but may be afraid to approach you with.

 

For example: I too hated porn but wondered about what facination there was for it. So, I sat with my husband and watched it one evening and found the excitement level between us grew by ten fold during our sexual experience while watching porn. I was not only more arroused but learned some new ways to excite my husband as well.

[Pink Amulet]

Why don't you just make your own and watch that? My ex and I would dress up for different porn scenes, and act it out with a camera on a tripod. Then we would watch it later. I always thought it was better than anything store bought~!

[Guest]

I am sorry but I feel like it is infidelity in a way. My husband getting off to other women is still a form of cheating to me. I give him everything he has asked for sexually and he still feels a need for porn. I feel cheated on and this is bigger than an anthill to me because of the lies and the frequency of it. I was up front and honest about how I felt about porn from the start and he broke an agreement that we had-that is a very big deal to me. I know that some people don't see porn as a big deal but I grew up in a house where my father did the whole porn thing. I saw how badly it hurt my mother and I never wanted to feel like she did. It hurts, I feel like I am not good enough and that I am not what he wants. I can't help how strongly I feel about this. I will not live like this. I just want to be his everything. I can honestly say that even when I am alone I always think about him and I would NEVER do anything I knew would hurt him. He did this knowing it would hurt me-that makes it a big deal.

 

Just another way in which a woman tries to control a man's sex life. Masterbation is NORMAL, especially for men. Men are different creatures than women. Women are subjective and men are objective. Compare your frequency of masterbation to his and see how they compare. Besides, women can be emotionally stimulated where by men need to be visually stimulated. The more he masterbates, the more you'll get! I challenge you to give him total freedom; no holds barred, and see if your sex live doesn't improve.

[ronnieromance]

Andrea Dworkin, the most hard core radical feminist everyone slightly right of center LOVED to hate.

 

SHe said the exact same thing you said "Sex is a power trip for men plain and simple. Without it we can't make love to anyone "

 

Lightning Rod, a RADICAL FEMINIST?? Who would have thought??

 

 

Most apparantly diverrgant things don't exist on a plane or straight line. Politiics especially. Think of it as existing on the outskirts of a circle, or better yet a sphere.

 

There are points in time when ideas are farther apart from each other, but the cool thing to notice is that, when they get to extreme opposition, the sort of become the same thing.

 

-R-

[Pink_Tulip]

So it is ok for you to take me out of context then, but when I do it back I am a troll.

 

I never said you were insecure. If you have a moral or religeous reason to be against porn that is fine with me. More power to ya!

Please show me where I took you out of context? You were the one who came in here with out of control, broad genaralizations that seem to apply to no one but yourself. For example, from your first post:

 

"Women cluelessly think that just because they are having sex the are fulfilling their husbands needs."

 

There are a LOT of men on here who are fulfilled with the sex life they share with their wives. If you aren't, fine, but don't start talking about all men. My husband is very satisfied, as are many men on this board.

 

"Drydania, I think you are over reacting somewhat."

 

That is my personal favorite. She starts a thread talking about how porn has destroyed her marriage, to the point her H beat the crap out of her over it, and you say she is over reacting. Good advice.

 

"Instead of trying to make him promise to change the way you want; why don't you change yourself for him."

 

And then you add this, even tho she stated she has been doing this from the beginning of their marriage. So either you aren't even bothering to read what people are saying, in which case you shouldn't be commenting on their situation, or you aren't a very good reader.

 

"I can see by the advice that a lot of women really don't understand men's sexual needs."

 

Again, please show me where DD, or anyone, said something to make you think wives on this board aren't doing everything we can to meet our H's sexual needs? And guess what, porn is NOT a need. The only porn my H has is what we have made together, and he is perfectly happy, as are all the other men in the world who don't watch porn.

 

And now, in the last few pages, you are all of a sudden so understanding of all these women. Why? Nothing has changed! In one of your first posts, you stated that men need porn b/c they like seeing women being taken control of, etc, then your most recent posts says that porn goes too far. You are completely contradicting your initial attitude towards porn and sex in this thread. THAT is why I said I thought you might be a troll.

[ali0812]

If they know that it will ruin their relationship then why do then even do it? If they say they are satisfied with who they are with then why not look at their SO rather then someone else? It makes me feel like they are subconciously looking for someone else and I know that no matter how good I look I will never look like the airbrushed body in any picture. What is it about guys that makes them always looking for something else, or looking at someone else? Just like someone else said, what is the difference between thinking about having sex with another person than doing it? If I see a hot guy I dont let my mind wander to other thing like that, I am happy with him, I'm not looking for anyone else. So why do they say they are satisfied with you, yet they still want sex with someone else?

[tweett70]

I don't care if my H wanks off.

 

I have made it clear to him that i despise porn and that i WILL NOT tolerate it in my house. I despise the filthy images, the degradation, the unrealistic expectations it creates, the FACT that MANY of the women in it are screwed up, and in my opinion, porn consumption only leads to dissatisfaction in the relationship. Overuse literally fries the mans sex drive so much, that he can porn himself LIMP.

 

OP,

 

This is YOUR relationship, and you have set boundaries that he violated. Stand your ground.

 

Instead of listening to the pro-porn posse here, do some independent research on this issue. I suggest you read 'the center fold syndrome'. Good book.

 

I totally agree with what you are saying, my husband and I do not have sex anymore because I am tired of making the first move and sharing myself with a man who daily views porn and then lies about it. He doesn't have anything left over for me, he is truly addicted (because he can't admit that this has caused a problem in our relationship). I am only 35 years old and I am suffering because his "affections" are wasted on fake porn women. So yes, I do see porn as a problem.

He is also a total hypocrite, who thinks that women who wear skimpy clothes are whores and are asking to be degraded. But these are the women in his fantasies (which he says he never has any about me)! I'm about to call it quits...

[LightningRod]

COMPROMISE!!!!

 

I think watching pron is a very human response and should be embrassed for such that it is. Obviously he is missing an excitement that he would like to experience with you but may be afraid to approach you with.

 

For example: I too hated porn but wondered about what facination there was for it. So, I sat with my husband and watched it one evening and found the excitement level between us grew by ten fold during our sexual experience while watching porn. I was not only more arroused but learned some new ways to excite my husband as well.

 

Now that is how porn shoiuld be used.

[LightningRod]

I totally agree with what you are saying, my husband and I do not have sex anymore because I am tired of making the first move and sharing myself with a man who daily views porn and then lies about it. He doesn't have anything left over for me, he is truly addicted (because he can't admit that this has caused a problem in our relationship). I am only 35 years old and I am suffering because his "affections" are wasted on fake porn women. So yes, I do see porn as a problem.

He is also a total hypocrite, who thinks that women who wear skimpy clothes are whores and are asking to be degraded. But these are the women in his fantasies (which he says he never has any about me)! I'm about to call it quits...

 

Is it all his fault? Why do women wear skimpy clothes? (not intended in a sarcastic way)

[sunseed]

First things first: thanks for your reply to my last post on this thread. I don't know if we'll recover or not, but I'll keep everyone apprised. Second: Check out a post by Lennox on this thread--it's an article written by a porn actress that I think you'd benefit from reading. "The Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn" I think is the title.

[LightningRod]

If they know that it will ruin their relationship then why do then even do it? If they say they are satisfied with who they are with then why not look at their SO rather then someone else? It makes me feel like they are subconciously looking for someone else and I know that no matter how good I look I will never look like the airbrushed body in any picture. What is it about guys that makes them always looking for something else, or looking at someone else? Just like someone else said, what is the difference between thinking about having sex with another person than doing it? If I see a hot guy I dont let my mind wander to other thing like that, I am happy with him, I'm not looking for anyone else. So why do they say they are satisfied with you, yet they still want sex with someone else?

 

Because guys have an instinct to seek out sex. It is like being hungry. Humanity would cease to exist if we didn't have it. Trust me it is annoying too for guys; always longing after girls you can't have. Unfortunately there is no off switch.

[LightningRod]

Please show me where I took you out of context? You were the one who came in here with out of control, broad genaralizations that seem to apply to no one but yourself. For example, from your first post:

 

"Women cluelessly think that just because they are having sex the are fulfilling their husbands needs."

 

There are a LOT of men on here who are fulfilled with the sex life they share with their wives. If you aren't, fine, but don't start talking about all men. My husband is very satisfied, as are many men on this board.

 

"Drydania, I think you are over reacting somewhat."

 

That is my personal favorite. She starts a thread talking about how porn has destroyed her marriage, to the point her H beat the crap out of her over it, and you say she is over reacting. Good advice.

 

"Instead of trying to make him promise to change the way you want; why don't you change yourself for him."

 

And then you add this, even tho she stated she has been doing this from the beginning of their marriage. So either you aren't even bothering to read what people are saying, in which case you shouldn't be commenting on their situation, or you aren't a very good reader.

 

"I can see by the advice that a lot of women really don't understand men's sexual needs."

 

Again, please show me where DD, or anyone, said something to make you think wives on this board aren't doing everything we can to meet our H's sexual needs? And guess what, porn is NOT a need. The only porn my H has is what we have made together, and he is perfectly happy, as are all the other men in the world who don't watch porn.

 

And now, in the last few pages, you are all of a sudden so understanding of all these women. Why? Nothing has changed! In one of your first posts, you stated that men need porn b/c they like seeing women being taken control of, etc, then your most recent posts says that porn goes too far. You are completely contradicting your initial attitude towards porn and sex in this thread. THAT is why I said I thought you might be a troll.

 

Want an example of how you take things out of context. When did Drydania say her husband beat the crap out her?

 

You sound clueless about men because you don't listen to what we have to say. I feel sorry for your poor husband because you probably tell him what he has to think too.

 

Now look who is making generalizations about every man in world who doesn't look at porn.

 

Porn makes aspects of sex that men desire easy to obtain. It is about power, control, and domination of women which is what men think about all the time. And yes your husband has it too. You see as much of it as he is willing to show you. Sorry, that is the way it is. And yes porn goes too far sometimes and men do become addicted to it. Men also rape and kill women for sex and I am sorry about that too, but that is the way it is.

 

Just because men are on a power trip doesn't mean they have to be cruel, unkind, selfish, or lack self control. In fact sometimes that is what makes them want to move heaven and earth for their SO. It is what drives us to look after our SO and family and make sure their needs are met.

[LightningRod]

Why don't you just make your own and watch that? My ex and I would dress up for different porn scenes, and act it out with a camera on a tripod. Then we would watch it later. I always thought it was better than anything store bought~!

 

The problem: Guess where a lot of porn on the internet comes from?

 

Do you trust you ex? There could be a million men right now wacking off to you on the internet.

 

How do you think Paris Hilton got her big boost in popularity?

[Pink Amulet]

F*ck well, I guess I can trust that he wouldn't want people to see him... maybe....

[LightningRod]

F*ck well, I guess I can trust that he wouldn't want people to see him... maybe....

 

Are you kidding, most of these guys do it out of spite or to show their conquests!

[Pink Amulet]

Urgghh, I never really thought about this. Well I am going for this whole no contact thing- but I guess he would give them back if I asked him. He is a pretty okay guy.