bf's on the online friendship website.

[missyn]

Yesterday I found out that my bf of 3 yrs had actually registered himself to one of the popular friendship networking website. What's disturbing me is that he wrote his intention to meet other people (in this case women) for more than just friends i.e. dating/relationship.

 

Well, few months prior to his registration, he told me about this website and that 1 of his friends introduced this site to him (Note: this friend is now desparately seeking for someone to date. Thus seeking my bf's help and now is getting on my bf's nerves coz he seems to be taking a lot of his time) Anyway, I told him that i have heard of it and doesn't have any intention to register. But i didn't know he actually registered months later.

 

Also prior to his registration, we had a tough time together as he thinks he isn't good enough for me. But, we managed to work things out. He never has the intention of breaking up with me though giving the options if i found someone better than him....then the website registration...2 months later he went off for work assignment some where else. There was a short break from each other due to telco failure. When, he came back home, he was like sooo happy to see me again and told me that he couldnt imagine a longer period of lost contact. After that, our relationship get a lot better than the past few months.

 

Till yesterday...i got shock out of my life. Now, i really dont know what to do? should i ask him directly if he actually registered himself on that website? or should i just pretend that i have never come across his info/ad??

 

He has been loyal and honest to me all these years and would tell me if he is up to something.

 

Sigh...would love to hear all of your comments/opinions.

[ronnieromance]

I wouldn't worry too much. If it's a site like myspace or friendster, especially. Guys who try to hook up off those sites usually fail miserably. They're not very good for that. If it's something like webdate, then I'd worry.

 

 

-R-

[missyn]

Well, thanks for looking at the positive side of things.

 

But, i'm just worry that things will get out of hand. And i'm a believer in online relationship (as in emotional relationship has a stronger effect than physical relationship).

 

However, both my bf and i had been thru this online experience, in our past. Both of our audiences were miles n miles away from our home. I would dare say of different cultures. So, those sites u said most likely to fail for certain cultures and may be a success to others.

 

Anyway, in our cultures (just take my bf's friend for example) has been using this technique to meet girls but still fail to secure a relationship. Maybe he has never even had a relationship nor dated before. Thus his "criteria" is a bit higher than those who have been in one.

 

I have never nagged/tell off my bf not to be his wingman to meet up all these girls. In fact, im looking at a different side of things that perhaps he should be feeling pity for his friend for not ending up in a proper relationship. I know my bf told me about people he knew whom dated lotsa of women..more than he did. Well, i guess it is a male's nature to be feeling a little envious. haha, perhaps females do feel the same.

 

But, life is full of surprises and only time can unfold the truth.

 

for now, i just wanted to talk to him about this issue...or should i hold my worries for now till later??????????????

[JadeStar]

IMO I think you need to address this issue with him now. It would be interesting to see what he has to say. He is in a relationship with you, not with these other people. Wheather he is trying to make new "friends" or not, he should be able to make friends without being on s website such as that. Tell him how you feel on the matter, after he understands how you feel, then sit back and see if he deletes his profile or goes back to the site again. If he does, then I would say your words fell of def ears, he doesn't respect how you feel, and probably doesn't need to be in a relationship, period.

 

 

 

 

Jade

[JackJack]

I doubt he is on a site looking for just "friends". I would be more apt to see women signing up to a site like that to make other women friends for general chit chat than a man signing up looking for just 'friends. Guess it depends on which site it is too. I may be wrong though, but at any rate he needs to be talking with you, you all being friends together in your relationship, not him looking for 'friends" else where.

[missyn]

it's a non-dating website as stated by ronnie.

[PandorasBox]

it's a non-dating website as stated by ronnie.

 

 

Wheather its a non dating website or not is be side the point. It doesn't have to say "dating site" for people to get more out of things than a "friendship" type of thing. It still neeeds to addressed. You obvioulsy have some concern over the mattrer reguardless of what kind of site it is or you wouldn't have posted. You will get ppl to tell you its not a big deal then others will say it is. What matters, is how you feel about it. So whats your plan as far as talking with him about it?

[missyn]

Hey all,

 

I have talked to him few days ago. He honestly told me his intentions. Well, he isn't sure about his feelings. And he can't really decide what to do with us. He knows that he wanted me but the "in love" feeling is not there. Thus, his own doings.

 

His honesty makes me weak. I just am drawn to a person who comes clean. Now i even dont know what to do. We know the risk of letting go of each other.

 

He has been trying to contact me recent days but i gave rather short answers or not at all.

 

I'm wondering if being friend in a relationship can strengthen it or draw the 2 parties away?