Last night when I talked to them again, they both called me a f**kin slut!

[vi_pn_babe25]

Lastnight sucked

I've been friends with these guys for awhile now. The problem is they both know each other back from highschool, and they both live around the same area, so alot of times they see each other at the same bar or club. Well I talk to them pretty much on a daily basis, and usually I'll call both of them to see what either one's doing that night, but not to hang out together because they don't really get along. Anyway, on Friday after I hung out with some of my friends, I called one of them and he said that he was going to this bar, then I called the other one and he said he was going to the same bar! So knowing that they'd be at the same bar, I just stayed home. The thing is, both of them know I kinda like them and they like me but with both guys we've never declared ourselves bf/gf. So when they both saw each other at the bar, they told each other that they talked to me. Then lastnight when I talked to them again, they both called me a f**kin slut!! I was like WTF?!! For one thing, I'm not their gf at least I've never officially established a relationship with either one of them, BUT one night I was drunk & slept with one of the guys, (bad move,I know) BUT I've always wanted a relationship with that guy sometimes we act like it, but he's never really mentioned anything about us being bf/gf. The other guy at least told me he wanted me to be his gf but I was honest with him and told him it would be hard for right now at least because they both know each other. So with all of that said, (sorry kinda long and drawn out) why do I get called a slut when I'm not gf/bf with either of them? I would totally understand if I was gf with one of them and they found out I was seeing the other one. Why would they be so mad but yet both guys and I have never called each other bf/gf. Was I supposed to pick up on a signal or what because I'm confused, and now I don't know how to approach either of them, please help

[MadDog]

Those guys sound immature and lame. So they were both interested in you at one point and neither of them ended up with you? So what? They need to get over it. Just forget about them and spend your time with other people who are cooler than these guys (which should be almost anyone.)

[vi_pn_babe25]

Those guys sound immature and lame. So they were both interested in you at one point and neither of them ended up with you? So what? They need to get over it. Just forget about them and spend your time with other people who are cooler than these guys (which should be almost anyone.)

 

Thanks MD

yah they are especially when I know one of them threw something on my car when I was at the other guy's house! so I should've realized then that they are both immature. and I really don't like the fact that they know each other, so I think I need to stop seeing both of them. I got mixed signals from both guys, so I didn't know for sure what they wanted, & one guy was said to be a player in the past. So then I get called a slut?! I just don't want rumors spread about me because they are pissed off, because alot of people I know, know them, so what should I do about that?

[MadDog]

Thanks MD

yah they are especially when I know one of them threw something on my car when I was at the other guy's house! so I should've realized then that they are both immature. and I really don't like the fact that they know each other, so I think I need to stop seeing both of them. I got mixed signals from both guys, so I didn't know for sure what they wanted, & one guy was said to be a player in the past. So then I get called a slut?! I just don't want rumors spread about me because they are pissed off, because alot of people I know, know them, so what should I do about that?

 

Well, if they talk s*** and people believe them, those people are pretty stupid too and/or they were never your real friends in the first place. Any of your real friends who know you would find thier comments completely ridiculous, I'm sure.

 

Just don't worry about them or their rumors. The more they act like this, the more people will realize they're idiots. It's a typical immature response: a guy tries to get with a girl and when she's not interested, he starts calling her a bitch, slut, etc.

 

Sometimes it takes events like this to realize who your real friends are. It's actually good for you to have things shaken up every now and then.

[vi_pn_babe25]

Well, if they talk s*** and people believe them, those people are pretty stupid too and/or they were never your real friends in the first place. Any of your real friends who know you would find thier comments completely ridiculous, I'm sure.

 

Just don't worry about them or their rumors. The more they act like this, the more people will realize they're idiots. It's a typical immature response: a guy tries to get with a girl and when she's not interested, he starts calling her a bitch, slut, etc.

 

Sometimes it takes events like this to realize who your real friends are. It's actually good for you to have things shaken up every now and then.

Thanks MD for your support

Yah you're right because one of them is the kind of person that no one takes seriously because he's the bad boy type. The thing is I already hinted to him that I wanted to be his girl a long time ago, but at the time he had just gotten out of a relationship with his ex, so I didn't push any further. He seemed to like me in return but he never actually said I was his bf, does that make sense? So I think since I started playing hard to get like he was to me before, he's treating me different, calling me a slut or whatever.

The other guy has liked me for awhile (he told me) but I told him that I had alot of guy friends and I wasn't ready to drop all ties with them. So he still has stuck around to this day, but he always refers to the other guy as "my boy" like he's my bf, and it's so annoying. When we talked on the phone lastnight I told him I was pissed with the whole game s*** between him and the other guy. And just now he called my phone and left a message for me to call him back. So I know I can't get seriously involved with either of them because I don't know what will happen. I just don't understand that when I try to play the game back they can't handle it.

[MadDog]

It seems like these guys have big egos that are easily hurt (e.g. they're insecure.) They can play all sorts of games with the girls they get involved with but the second they don't get what they want (e.g. the girl starts playing games back at them), they get frustrated and defensive because it's a blow to their ego.

 

Finding a confident guy who's well-adjusted and doesn't have to play games isn't easy is it? If you think that's bad, you should try being a guy and look for a girl without issues/emotional baggage. It's like skating uphill.

[vi_pn_babe25]

They definitely do have big egos, especially because one of them is popular among alot of people, but it makes sense what you said. It is hard trying to find a guy that is truely confident, it seems like any guy I get involved with becomes insecure and jealous. I actually told one guy that when I'm in a gf/bf relationship I'm a good girl and I honestly don't play games or mess around or cheat, but when I'm not with anyone I can do whatever I want and date whoever I want.

Yah I'm sure it would be hard for a guy to look for a girl that doesn't cause drama. It's hard for a girl to really know what a guy wants and if he's genuinely into you or just in it for the sex.

[fourfingers]

One of them probably called you a slvt because you slept with the other guy while in his mind he was the only one "really" interested in you. He was angry, bitter...

 

The other most likely called you a slvt because he's just a baby/immature...

 

If he thinks you are a slvt for sleeping with him when you were drunk then he is as much a slvt as you... Yeah i know what i'm saying now is not how people generally see it, but those are the facts... you slep with EACH OTHER.

 

So basically, my guess is, the guy you didn't sleep with is probably a bit insecure/has a crush on you and the other guy is just an arse ;-)

[Tim'sAngel]

How would you feel if you really liked this guy and this guy was stringing along 2 or 3 other girls you didn't really like and you found out he was sleeping w/one of them, wouldn't you think he was a slut?

 

Just remember, you will be classified w/the people you hang out with!! If they are immature, you will also be looked at as immature. If you don't want to deal with the rumors and all the drama, then simply don't hang out w/them. Simple

[vi_pn_babe25]

Yah I understand and I feel bad but the bad boy is just as much at fault as me because I know he has girls as friends too, I'm not sure what he does when I'm not with him, but he's been a player in the past so I really don't know. The thing is now I just tried to call him because I don't want us on bad terms after I had that conversation with him lastnight, and the automatic phone message says, "this number is temporarily unavailable" He's had problems with his phone in the past, where he's had to shut it off or cut it off, because I think has something to do with drugs. He always tries to talk around drugs when he's on the phone because he's been in trouble with the law, so is it possible that police or whoever can tap into his phone? He slipped up and said something about drugs lastnight so I don't know. I don't think he would change his number because of a lil fight we had, and plus he has alot of friends and it would seem to be a hassle to change his number just because of me. So what's going on?

 

Yah I know...sounds like a winner huh? But I'm just curious.

[MadDog]

Holy hell. This guy's into drugs as well? Quality guys in your area must be REALLY hard to find. That's kinda the equivalent of me dating a girl who does some prostitution on the side or something. Pretty bad.

[Tim'sAngel]

Yah I understand and I feel bad but the bad boy is just as much at fault as me because I know he has girls as friends too, I'm not sure what he does when I'm not with him, but he's been a player in the past so I really don't know. The thing is now I just tried to call him because I don't want us on bad terms after I had that conversation with him lastnight, and the automatic phone message says, "this number is temporarily unavailable" He's had problems with his phone in the past, where he's had to shut it off or cut it off, because I think has something to do with drugs. He always tries to talk around drugs when he's on the phone because he's been in trouble with the law, so is it possible that police or whoever can tap into his phone? He slipped up and said something about drugs lastnight so I don't know. I don't think he would change his number because of a lil fight we had, and plus he has alot of friends and it would seem to be a hassle to change his number just because of me. So what's going on?

 

Yah I know...sounds like a winner huh? But I'm just curious.

 

OMG... hunny drop him!! He is immature, into drugs, and calls you a slut... tell me one good thing about him!! What is it you just seem to not be getting??

[vi_pn_babe25]

Holy hell. This guy's into drugs as well? Quality guys in your area must be REALLY hard to find. That's kinda the equivalent of me dating a girl who does some prostitution on the side or something. Pretty bad.

 

Well it's true, it is REALLY hard to find quality guys, BUT I need to get over the fact that just because I like the thrill, excitement and fun of the bad boy type, doesn't mean they're going to treat me the way I should be treated. And I think since I've always been around those types, it's sad to say, but I'm kinda used to it. But alot of times I seem to attract the bad boys, and I'm not sure if it's the way I look or they can tell that I'm confident, which usually they are too (attractive & confident) It's just hard for me to trust guys, because I always think they're out for one thing-sex, because unfornately that's all I ever meet

[vi_pn_babe25]

OMG... hunny drop him!! He is immature' date=' into drugs, and calls you a slut... tell me one good thing about him!! What is it you just seem to not be getting??[/quote']

 

Just like I said, I need to drop the bad guy type and start liking the good guy type. I talked to the other guy tonight and when they both saw each other on Friday, he said that the (bad boy) wouldn't stop talking about me to him, like bragging or in a sense trying to tell him the (good guy) to back off. So I don't understand him, I guess it's not worth understanding, but it seems like he just wants me there to stand next to him.

Anyway I think it's actually a good thing that his phone is temporarily cut off because now I can start to get over him.

[Tim'sAngel]

You keep saying, "I gotta do this" and "I really should do that" and then follows yet another post about this immature guy doing this and you saying this and him doing that... Get a grip!! Only you make your life, only you choose how it goes... if this makes you happy then quit posting about it. If it doesn't, then rid your life of these unhealthy men and get a reality check ASAP!!

 

Sorry if I sound irritated, but I think I'm going to quit responding to you posts even though I really wish I could help you understand some important things, but you just don't seem to get it...

 

I hope the best for you....

[vi_pn_babe25]

Yah I guess I sound like a broken record with everything. And I'm sure you're sick of reading my ridiculous posts, which I need to stop posting all together) But I want to thank you for all your time, help and support, I really do appreciate it

Thanks again Tim'sAngel and I hope the best for you too.

[vi_pn_babe25]

I don't understand it when guys get jealous when you're not in a relationship with them but they get mad when you talk to other guys, like they think they own you. If you don't want other guys talking to your girl then why not be her gf?? That's what I don't get.

For example: One night when I went out with a guy (we're actually f buddies-yah it sounds bad) well we make it clear that we can kinda flirt with other people without getting mad, so anyways, when we were out I saw him talking to another girl (she was ugly too, which I also don't understand when they talk to ugly girls when they have a (hot)girl that most guys want) so when I saw that I got kinda mad but I didn't see it as a threat, BUT when I called one of my guy friends on the ride home from the club, he got mad and wouldn't talk to me the rest of the night! I was like WTF you can do it but I can't? Then the next morning I asked him if he was mad that I talked to my guy friend and he said, no it's not like we're gf/bf. Well then WTF I don't understand that you get mad but you don't consider me your gf. We had a good relationship until then, like a bf/gf relationship but it seems like after that night he's been acting different towards me. He doesn't call as much and we don't hang out as much anymore. Was it me that messed it up or what? It's like some guys can't handle the game being played back to them.

Another example: This guy that I've been friends with for awhile, always hang out, most of the time act like bf/gf but again neither of us has stated that we're gf/bf . Well one night when I was out with some friends I was talking to his friends and other people, not even flirting but he knows I have guy friends. Actually this one guy that he went to school with knows he likes me and yah sometimes we hang out. But anyways, the next day he called me and told me I was a slut! WTF?! The same thing with him, we don't talk as much or we don't hang out as much. So why is it my fault when we're not officially bf/gf and I have the freedom to do whatever I want? WHY WHY WHY??

I know this is kinda confusing, but someone PLEASE give me some insight on this! Thanks

[sazzya1987]

I think you need to talk to him and ask him what the heck is going on.

[pricillia]

sometimes guys talk and some make up stories so when you almost BF called you a slut someone was probably taking s*** about you

 

just my guess...

[maxima888]

maybe is because the guys feel some sort of attachment to you... I mean why will they get defensive if you do stuff like that...

 

Sometimes people say one thing and do another...

[vi_pn_babe25]

sometimes guys talk and some make up stories so when you almost BF called you a slut someone was probably taking s*** about you

 

just my guess...

 

yah I kinda wondered that...so I don't know who to trust. I called (not my f buddy) him tonight and asked him why he called me that and he said he was just kidding! yah f**kin' right. so I don't know who to believe, or I guess who I want to believe. I hate the fact that they know each oher. They don't like each other but the other guy said when he talked to him, the guy that called me that wouldn't stop talking to the other guy that likes me, I think to try to annoy him, or brag or something. So when I heard that he was talking about me to the other guy made me think that he's trying make him jealous. Uhh I dunno what to do

[vi_pn_babe25]

maybe is because the guys feel some sort of attachment to you... I mean why will they get defensive if you do stuff like that...

 

Sometimes people say one thing and do another...

 

Thanks for your reply maxima888

yah you're probably right, but I don't understand why they can't just come out and say, "will u be my gf?" I mean then I'd know for sure what they really want. And I've shown them before that I like them or even told them, so I don't think they'd be afraid of rejection. And now I don't want to come on too strong, because I can't read their words and their actions can be confusing too. Geez it's confusing.

[vi_pn_babe25]

I've been seeing 2 different guys that I met last November. Although they both know each other from highschool, they were never really friends. From time to time, they cross each other's paths because they live in the same area and hang out at the same places. I've always liked one more than the other, and I've made it pretty clear to the one I like. BUT we never have stated that we're officially bf/gf. So I never could really figure out if he really liked me like that. Anyways, the other guy has told me he wants me to be his gf but I've been honest with him, and kinda stalled the potential relationship with him because I like the other guy more.

Well last Friday, they were at the same house (I wasn't there) and I heard that they were talking about me. The guy that I liked told the other guy, "I don't know why she's calling me because I kinda yelled at her last week" Unfortunately it's true, he had called me a slut because he found out that I was also seeing the other guy. Well wtf..if I'm not his gf then I can see whoever I want. So last time I talked to him, I asked him why he called me a slut,(they actually have both called me a slut) and then the conversation ended with him telling me that he'd call me when he gets back into town. Well I hadn't heard from him, so that's when I called him. Well I just saw the guy (the one I don't like as much as the other) and he said that the one I like lost his phone. But that night they were together, I called them both, and they told each other that I had called both of them! OOPS...So now I don't know what he (the guy I like) thinks, and I don't want to keep calling if he's lost interest in me, but he shouldn't be so mad because we weren't officially bf/gf. And I don't understand why I get called a slut when I'm not bf/gf with neither one of them, if i'm not together with someone I can do whatever I want right? Anyways, the guy that I like, always brags to the other guy that I call him and that I always want to hang out with him, but now it seems like it's changed. And I want the guy that I like back, but I don't know how to approach it now. Should I just ask him flat out, if he wants to be exclusive with me or what? Uhh I'm just confused if he really did have feelings for me, why didn't he just come out and ask me to be his gf???? Do you think that he wanted to keep playing the field too? But now that he thinks that I see other guys he doesn't really want anything to do with me it seems like. What should I do??

[Touche]

You were sleeping with both of them?

[kitten chick]

I never understood why guys will expect you to commit and be faithful to them when they won't make a commitment to you. IMHO, if neither of them wanted to be your "boyfriend" then neither should get to tell you that you have to stop dating. You're entitled to find someone who thinks that you're great and can't seem themselves with anyone else. If they're not it then they shouldn't have a right to hold you back. I think you were well within your rights to continue to date others.

 

The thing that worries me more is why you want to be with a guy that will call you a slut. You deserve better than that and from your past posts it doesn't sound like you have any trouble getting dates. My opinion on what you should do? Dump both of them and find a guy that will respect you and is mature enough not to stoop to name calling.