Last night when I talked to them again, they both called me a f**kin slut!

[Sevenmack]

^Good point.

[vi_pn_babe25]

I feel really hated by people on here, and I admit it's MY FAULT, I've made mistakes and I'm trying to learn from them, obviously I try to get help from other sources like this website. I try not to talk to my friends about it because some of them know the guys I see and it would just be a big mess. And to shed some light on the "sex question" I was exclusive with the first guy, and then one night I was at a party with the other guy, got way to drunk where I didn't remember anything, (1st time that has honestly happened to me) and that guy said he TRIED to have sex with me. Well I'm thinking since he sometimes talks to the guy I like, he obviously told him what went on, and that's when he called me a slut. Now I think he freakin' hates me because of that fact, and I feel really really bad. I just never really knew how he felt about me and YES I should've communicated better with him, but now I guess I know how he really feels about me UHH I wanna cry

[Touche]

Don't cry and don't feel bad. No one hates you. I certainly don't. Look, we've all made mistakes. I've sure made my fair share. Just learn from them. If you lose the guy you want, just learn from it. We ALL have lost someone we wanted I'll bet, because of something we should/shouldn't have done. Just learn from it and go on. Try not to make the same mistakes again.

 

You're not a bad person. But you'd be stupid if you keep making the same mistakes again. So don't.

 

Why don't you try talking to the one you're really interested. Admit to him that you HAVE acted in a way that may come across as slutty. Tell him that you realize that and you won't do it again. Maybe ask him if he's willing to give you a chance and that you want to be exclusive with him. If he says no, then so be it. You have nothing to lose so why don't you do that?

[Art_Critic]

WTF is wrong with you guys ?????

 

You have taken a thread where someone was looking for advice and literally beat the crap outta her..

 

You have not contributed to her thread except to call her names.. It wasn't your thread to take off on that tangent

 

You all owe her an apology..

[Touche]

WTF is wrong with you guys ?????

 

You have taken a thread where someone was looking for advice and literally beat the crap outta her..

 

You have not contributed to her thread except to call her names.. It wasn't your thread to take off on that tangent

 

You all owe her an apology..

 

Nope, sorry Art. Go back and re-read. People, including myself were trying to help her. But there were pieces, important pieces, to the puzzle missing.

 

I don't see how anyone "beat the crap out of her." I really don't. We were trying to help. Sometimes people don't understand how their actions come across. I think there's a good reason why she came here instead of her friends. They probably would have said what we did and she didn't want them to know..or they would have thought it anyway.

 

I don't owe her an apology at all. I stand by EVERYTHING that I said. But I DO feel bad that the truth, as it was pointed out to her, hurt her. But that's a GOOD thing. Sometimes it hurts to grow. And the truth ain't always pretty.

 

Really, vi no one wants to deliberately make you feel bad...just trying to really help you see some things.

[vi_pn_babe25]

Don't cry and don't feel bad. No one hates you. I certainly don't. Look, we've all made mistakes. I've sure made my fair share. Just learn from them. If you lose the guy you want, just learn from it. We ALL have lost someone we wanted I'll bet, because of something we should/shouldn't have done. Just learn from it and go on. Try not to make the same mistakes again.

 

You're not a bad person. But you'd be stupid if you keep making the same mistakes again. So don't.

 

Why don't you try talking to the one you're really interested. Admit to him that you HAVE acted in a way that may come across as slutty. Tell him that you realize that and you won't do it again. Maybe ask him if he's willing to give you a chance and that you want to be exclusive with him. If he says no, then so be it. You have nothing to lose so why don't you do that?

 

I just feel really down right now and I need to get myself straight. It's obviously not healthy, I just don't know why I keep doing the same thing over again, you would think I would learn after everything that I've confessed on here but it seems like I haven't. Well this is what I'm going to do: I'm going to cut off contact with the guy I don't really like or at least tell him that I don't want anything to do with him so he'll stop calling, and with the other guy I'll try talking stuff over withi him and see what he thinks and go from there. If all else fails I'll just find a whole new guy that doesn't know any guy that I know, because that seemed to be part of the problem. I just hope the guy that I've liked will understand and maybe give me another chance. Because honestly, and you might find this hard to believe, but once I'm bf/gf with someone I don't cheat. When I was seeing my f buddy, before I met these guys, I NEVER slept with anyone else because I THOUGHT he was being exclusive with me, until he told me a while after we were seeing each other that he slept with someone right after we met. Then I was heartbroken when he said I wasn't his gf, and it made me mad that I was so true and faithful to him when it wasn't a real relationship. Now I think my actions stem from that situation, although the guy I really like never said I was or wasn't his gf. I guess that's why I'm so confused.

[Touche]

I just feel really down right now and I need to get myself straight. It's obviously not healthy, I just don't know why I keep doing the same thing over again, you would think I would learn after everything that I've confessed on here but it seems like I haven't. Well this is what I'm going to do: I'm going to cut off contact with the guy I don't really like or at least tell him that I don't want anything to do with him so he'll stop calling, and with the other guy I'll try talking stuff over withi him and see what he thinks and go from there. If all else fails I'll just find a whole new guy that doesn't know any guy that I know, because that seemed to be part of the problem. I just hope the guy that I've liked will understand and maybe give me another chance. Because honestly, and you might find this hard to believe, but once I'm bf/gf with someone I don't cheat. When I was seeing my f buddy, before I met these guys, I NEVER slept with anyone else because I THOUGHT he was being exclusive with me, until he told me a while after we were seeing each other that he slept with someone right after we met. Then I was heartbroken when he said I wasn't his gf, and it made me mad that I was so true and faithful to him when it wasn't a real relationship. Now I think my actions stem from that situation, although the guy I really like never said I was or wasn't his gf. I guess that's why I'm so confused.

 

Yes, vi...talk to him. And stop doing the same things over and over again. Sounds like you have a good plan in place. Just go forward and don't feel badly about the past.

[vi_pn_babe25]

WTF is wrong with you guys ?????

 

You have taken a thread where someone was looking for advice and literally beat the crap outta her..

 

You have not contributed to her thread except to call her names.. It wasn't your thread to take off on that tangent

 

You all owe her an apology..

 

I do believe some people on here were turning it into a joke and that's not fair.

[Art_Critic]

Nope, sorry Art. Go back and re-read. People, including myself were trying to help her. But there were pieces, important pieces, to the puzzle missing.

 

You never gave her a chance to respond to the questions before all the accusations were made..

 

I did go back and re-read the thread..

You guys f***ed up and got all over her case without all of the OP info..

 

Sometimes when people start a thread they come back a little later to answer questions and don't sit on LS to answer them immediaty..

 

I think the judgments were flying without merit..

 

IMHO

[vi_pn_babe25]

You never gave her a chance to respond to the questions before all the accusations were made..

 

I did go back and re-read the thread..

You guys f***ed up and got all over her case without all of the OP info..

 

Sometimes when people start a thread they come back a little later to answer questions and don't sit on LS to answer them immediaty..

 

I think the judgments were flying without merit..

 

IMHO

 

Yah you're right, I posted the thread lastnight, went to bed like most people do, woke up this morning did my usual thing, and didn't get on this site until this afternoon. When I saw that I had 28 replies I was shocked to notice that so many people had replied without me replying back!

[Touche]

You never gave her a chance to respond to the questions before all the accusations were made..

 

I did go back and re-read the thread..

You guys f***ed up and got all over her case without all of the OP info..

 

Sometimes when people start a thread they come back a little later to answer questions and don't sit on LS to answer them immediaty..

 

I think the judgments were flying without merit..

 

IMHO

 

Come on! They WERE'NT without merit. OP already admitted she was sleeping with one of them. I knew that without her saying it. I knew she was sleeping with at least ONE of them if not both. Go back and read what I said. No accusations...just years of living..call it wisdom if you will, told me what the truth was.

 

So speaking for myself, the "judgements" that were flying as you say, WERE with merit.

 

Having a bad day, Art?

[Touche]

Yah you're right, I posted the thread lastnight, went to bed like most people do, woke up this morning did my usual thing, and didn't get on this site until this afternoon. When I saw that I had 28 replies I was shocked to notice that so many people had replied without me replying back!

 

That's going to happen on here. Not everyone has the same schedule as you do. And no one can tell people when to post or not to post. But it's ok...you came back and set the record straight and that's good. But the fact of the matter is, is that we WEREN'T off base. We got it right.

[Lishy]

Vi .... As you know I have followed your story with these guys and my advice is to stand back and take a breathe ..... I honestly believe that you have burned bridges with both of these guys and I think you should move on from them!

 

Men call women sluts for doing the self same thing that makes them 'the man' so dont beat yourself up over it, but LEARN from it!

 

You can do this honey you just need to realise that you are WORTHY! You are worthy of love and respect and I relaly think, after following yourposts, that you have lost touch with this!

 

I know how it feels to feel that all you are good for is to screw! It feels awful but take it from me there are men out there who will treat you right!

 

I have met the nicest guy and he just gets better! He treats me with respect and takes me to lovely places and I know he really likes me!

 

Oh and you remember my FWB? Mr Driveby? he rang me last week telling me he missed me and how bad he felt that I may have thought he was just using me for sex and that he just didnt want a big relationship and that was why things turned out how they did ... I told him I am seeing someone really nice now and that he was not someone I would want to be with and how bad he made me felt with his hot/cold behaviour. He was genuinely sorry and we had quite a nice chat as friends!

 

There are great men out there ... Forget these losers and go find one sweetie! You are worth it!

[Tim'sAngel]

Vi_pn_babe24, I have been avoiding your threads because I started feeling like a broken record. I have read alot of them, and ALL of them are pretty much exactly the same. When are you going to learn something? Just drop these 2 jerks they are not worth it!! You are losing your self worth whether you realize that or not. The reason you were called a slut was your fault, and I know everyone is going to fly all over me for saying that, but I don't care because I know what I'm talking about. It's extremely simple. If you don't want to be called a slut, then don't sleep around and you wont get called one. It just isn't any simpler than that.

 

I'm not saying your worhtless or a bad person, I'm trying to get you to understand that only you can determine your future. If you want to go on posting thread after thread after thread about the same 2 retarded drug addicts and players, then by all means, keep going the way your going. If you want to stop this stupid cycle you have yourself in and avoid being called dirty names, then how about trying to pick better company to be around. Your getting all upset becaues some guys are treating you badly, yet again and again you head right back into the situation. why? for what? What are you getting out of it besides depression and questions and frustraition?

 

Another thing, I can't even count how many times you've said "I know you are all right I just need to drop them, I'ts my fault, bla bla" and then yet another thread.... Will you ever learn?

 

As a women, you need to step up a little and realize your self worth and stop letting these men trample all over you. Stop saying your going to do something and just do it!!

[Sevenmack]

You all owe her an apology..

 

For what, Art_Critic? Telling it to her straight? The lady came here for advice and got it. She detailed some of her actions -- continuing a relationship with two men, including one with whom she continues to see despite telling him upfront that she had no use for him -- and was told that her judgment in this situation was lacking. Very lacking.

 

At some point in her life, no one bothered to give it to her straight. You can't carry on with two men and not expect drama. If you're not interested in seeing a guy, you should break it off, not simply tell him that you're not interested in him. That you should choose better mates; if the guy you want to be with isn't interested in an exclusive relationship, then you stop seeing him, not stick with him and then start up another relationship with another man. That the situation is a net of your choices.

 

This isn't Romper Room. This is Loveshack. And sometimes the advice is dished out like they used to do in the military -- hot, nutritious and not always tasty. As much sensitvity as one can show in a situation like this, sometimes sensitivity gets in the way of giving the advice that's needed.

[Touche]

VERY well said, Seven! Couldn't agree more.

[Art_Critic]

This isn't Romper Room. This is Loveshack.

 

No s***.. then stop acting like a child and listen to the OP.. and when someone asks her a question wait until she answers that question until you paint her 7 ways til sunday..

 

She asked for advice about an issue she had with these 2 guys.. instead of giving her advice you all chose to call her a slut.. immature..and used other names making fun of her instead of giving her advice she could use..

 

How has your advice been helpful at all to her ?

[Tim'sAngel]

No s***.. then stop acting like a child and listen to the OP.. and when someone asks her a question wait until she answers that question until you paint her 7 ways til sunday..

 

She asked for advice about an issue she had with these 2 guys.. instead of giving her advice you all chose to call her a slut.. immature..and used other names making fun of her instead of giving her advice she could use..

 

How has your advice been helpful at all ?

 

i dunno if this applies to me since i only just posted, but as for calling her names i did not, i only stated that she is the cause of name calling.

 

You have somewhat of a double standard critic. I remember posting a thread awhile back and you posted on everything but what I had asked. You even went as far as trying to make me feel stupid, or at least thats how it sounded.

 

If you go back and read all of the OPs threads, you will see this pathetic pattern she is in and some of us are just trying to hit her back to reality. Obviously pats on the back will get her nowhere, thats what she has been getting and it doesn't seem to be doing a bit of good.

 

I don't think we shoudl call her names or put her down, but for those who are telling it to her straight, I say keep it up guys!! That is exactly what she and everyone else needs. Thats what loveshack should be about

[Art_Critic]

You even went as far as trying to make me feel stupid, or at least thats how it sounded.

 

Show me the thread....

You are using excuses from previous posts of mine to make the fact that you are calling her names okay ?

 

If I have then bring it to my attention thru PM and I will make my amends.. I am not above making errors in posting judgment

 

 

If you go back and read all of the OPs threads, you will see this pathetic pattern she is in and some of us are just trying to hit her back to reality. Obviously pats on the back will get her nowhere, thats what she has been getting and it doesn't seem to be doing a bit of good.

 

Use of the word pathetic is name calling..

 

WTF ?

 

One of the problems is that you are taking her previous posts and holding them against her instead of giving her advice on the thread she posted.

 

that isn't a fair shake for her.. how is she supposed to get advice if everytime she hears about her other posts instead of people answering the thread they are posting on..

 

Which I might add is against the guidelines..

[Tim'sAngel]

Show me the thread....

You are using excuses from previous posts of mine to make the fact that you are calling her names okay ?

 

If I have then bring it to my attention thru PM and I will make my amends.. I am not above making errors in posting judgment

 

 

 

 

Use of the word pathetic is name calling..

 

WTF ?

 

One of the problems is that you are taking her previous posts and holding them against her instead of giving her advice on the thread she posted.

 

that isn't a fair shake for her.. how is she supposed to get advice if everytime she hears about her other posts instead of people answering the thread they are posting on..

 

Which I might add is against the guidelines..

 

Good grief. Why are you taking this all so personally? This isn't your thread. I never called her names. Not once. I am trying to help, and have been for quite some time, but she just doesn't get it.

 

I don't need amends, I'm not even holding anything against you. All I was pointing out was you do the same thing you are accusing others of.

 

Calm down critic, I thought clowns were supposed to make people laugh

[Sevenmack]

instead of giving her advice you all chose to call her a slut.. immature..and used other names making fun of her instead of giving her advice she could use..

 

Called her names, Art_Critic? Touche, myself and others didn't call her a slut. In fact, I defended the fact that she didn't make it known to the other men that their relationships weren't exclusive; these are things that are worked out by communication. But she did get called on the carpet for behaving in a manner that all of us would find disgraceful if it involved someone on an episode of "Springer." She was and is being irresponsible. Calling her on the carpet for that isn't a bad thing.

 

If you really think coddling her attention queen antics -- and the whole 'I'm gonna cry' thing is nothing more than that -- is a good idea, then go ahead. It's your choice. Others choose a different way. And if it doesn't make you happy? Tough. I'm not here to coddle you either.

[Art_Critic]

All I was pointing out was you do the same thing you are accusing others of.

 

Show me the posts that I have done that ..

[Sevenmack]

Calm down critic, I thought clowns were supposed to make people laugh

 

That is worthy of a belly laugh, Tim'sAngel.

[Art_Critic]

I'm off this thread guys..

 

If you go back and read the post where she got back after posting the original thread you will see that your ADVICE has had a negative impact on her not a positive one..

 

you guys were just plain too hard on her without hearing any input from her

 

Therefore your advice wasn't advice.. it was criticism..

[Touche]

I'm off this thread guys..

 

If you go back and read the post where she got back after posting the original thread you will see that your ADVICE has had a negative impact on her not a positive one..

 

you guys were just plain too hard on her without hearing any input from her

 

Therefore your advice wasn't advice.. it was criticism..

 

Wrong again. It's like we're reading two different posts. She DOES realize her actions are wrong. I think she does. Had we not pointed it out, had we said "aww, poor baby, they shouldn't have called you a slut!" what would she have gotten out of that?

 

The advice given was ADVICE NOT criticism. I think OP sees it that way so it doesn't matter if you don't.