Guest Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Hi kitten, Here's my situation that just occured a couple of weeks ago. I work at a large superstore, and get lots of attention from my male customers because of my friendly desposition and possibly good looks. I've managed to handle it pretty well (7 yrs) by always having treated them professionally. A few months ago, though, we got a new co-manager (MM) in the house who immediately noticed me and showed his interest by starting establishing this eye-contact relationship between the two of us. At first, I tried not to look back at him, but then as he persisted, I finally opened up and let him know I kind of liked him too. As we passed each other in the hall one afternoon, I made a casual complement about his new shirt. An hour later I was called into the store manager's office for coaching on inappropriare conduct. I was trully stunned. Now he walks around the store with this look on his face like "he let me have just what I deserved". Every time I see him now, I get disgusted, and try not to think about the whole thing at all. But I still feel rejected for nothing. I even went ahead and took a week of vacation this week, so I can be away from the place for awhile to get my emotions together. Any words of encouragement, anybody? :0) Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Sounds like he was pulling BS, playing around, and then got caught, so now he's trying to cover his A$$!. You've been there a lot longer than he has and, if you've never had any problems before on your record, you should make it known to the higher Ups and speak up for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
alfagrl Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 MovinOn, are you from Jersey? Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 MovinOn, are you from Jersey? Yup! :cool: Link to post Share on other sites
alfagrl Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 ME TOO ! I just moved out west though....I couldn't afford NJ anymore. I am SOoooo homesick. I miss everything. . I'm from central jersey, woodbridge/somerville area. where about are you? Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 South Jersey just outside of Philly, but I grew up north in Caldwell. Yeah, its pricey around here but moreso north which is one reason I won't go back up there. South is not as bad, but they're working on it!! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Sounds like he was pulling BS, playing around, and then got caught, so now he's trying to cover his A$$!. You've been there a lot longer than he has and, if you've never had any problems before on your record, you should make it known to the higher Ups and speak up for yourself. movinon05, Thank You so much for your responce. I did tell them there had been some eye contact going between the two of us, and that I was just responding to what he'd started. I really hope they understood me. The store manager shook my hand and respectfully thanked me for my time. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Good for you. If nothing else, the store manager is aware of something and I'm so glad you spoke to him. This may have been documented on both sides in your files. Lets hope this is the end of it. Co-managers can be transient in stores, so hopefully your longevity there will give you the leg up. Just be on your toes that this MM does not take this out on you and you are not treated differently. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Good for you. If nothing else, the store manager is aware of something and I'm so glad you spoke to him. This may have been documented on both sides in your files. Lets hope this is the end of it. Co-managers can be transient in stores, so hopefully your longevity there will give you the leg up. Just be on your toes that this MM does not take this out on you and you are not treated differently. Thank You so much again! I'll do just that! :0) Link to post Share on other sites
ridingthebulls Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Hi kitten, Here's my situation that just occured a couple of weeks ago. I work at a large superstore, and get lots of attention from my male customers because of my friendly desposition and possibly good looks. I've managed to handle it pretty well (7 yrs) by always having treated them professionally. A few months ago, though, we got a new co-manager (MM) in the house who immediately noticed me and showed his interest by starting establishing this eye-contact relationship between the two of us. At first, I tried not to look back at him, but then as he persisted, I finally opened up and let him know I kind of liked him too. As we passed each other in the hall one afternoon, I made a casual complement about his new shirt. An hour later I was called into the store manager's office for coaching on inappropriare conduct. I was trully stunned. Now he walks around the store with this look on his face like "he let me have just what I deserved". Every time I see him now, I get disgusted, and try not to think about the whole thing at all. But I still feel rejected for nothing. I even went ahead and took a week of vacation this week, so I can be away from the place for awhile to get my emotions together. Any words of encouragement, anybody? :0) Seems like you are really bad at reading signals. How overbearing and flirty were you that he had to make a complaint? Girl, get yourself a man who's not taken already! Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Seems like you are really bad at reading signals. How overbearing and flirty were you that he had to make a complaint? Girl, get yourself a man who's not taken already! if you want to be taken seriously you need to come up with some more perceptive observations, also to be a little more objective. it is very clear that you are colouring everybody and every situation with your own experiences. everybody does this to some degree, but often anger makes us do it more. perhaps you need to talk about your own situation and work through that and maybe instead of counter-attacks, you will find a little support. Link to post Share on other sites
eyeswideshut Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Hey everyone, I've just been reading this thread. Interesting. Alfagrl, you described yourself as I would describe myself. I'm wondering if it is my "incredibly open yet naive personality" that got me into trouble in the first place. (also, I'm very touchy feely. hahaha, I'm always hugging my co-workers, men and women, and I hug dogs on the street and I talk to them and their owners. etc) Then MO asked if you were aquarius, I AM!!!! what did you mean by that MO? hahaha. are you aquarius too? any aquarians on board? oh alpha, my exMM is a leo too. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 I finally opened up and let him know I kind of liked him too. As we passed each other in the hall one afternoon, I made a casual complement about his new shirt. An hour later I was called into the store manager's office for coaching on inappropriare conduct. :0) Was this how you let him know that you kinda liked him, or was there something else, too? It sounds to me like he maybe was trying for some kind of reverse harassment suit with the company. . . Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 if you want to be taken seriously you need to come up with some more perceptive observations, also to be a little more objective. it is very clear that you are colouring everybody and every situation with your own experiences. everybody does this to some degree, but often anger makes us do it more. perhaps you need to talk about your own situation and work through that and maybe instead of counter-attacks, you will find a little support. Newbby..... You have accurately described this poster. Many of us have done the dance with RTB and have all decided to just ignore him! Honestly, he's not worth the ink spilled. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Was this how you let him know that you kinda liked him, or was there something else, too? It sounds to me like he maybe was trying for some kind of reverse harassment suit with the company. . . Good point, silk! I'll be back to work Monday, and going to act like nothing happened. Even after my meeting with the store manager, the MM tried to eye me again, maybe just checking my reaction... I just ignore. No more feed for the pig. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 Newbby..... You have accurately described this poster. Many of us have done the dance with RTB and have all decided to just ignore him! Honestly, he's not worth the ink spilled. okay. thanks. i havent been around. Link to post Share on other sites
stillhere Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 I'm a scorpio, and i'm beyond friendly to everyone, it's just my personality, and i like being the way i am. My MM and I have had this talk too many times to count..........he gets jealous cuz i'm too friendly! I guess i'm naive in the way that i'm thinking i'm just being nice, and the men are thinking that i'm flirting (this is what he tells me from a man's point of view). At my old job, i worked with the public. I was constantly getting flowers, cards, balloons for my birthday, roses, candy, and i couldn't understand why. These were just regular customers that i thought were being nice! Apparently i'm very naive! Even at my current job, i work with the public, but not such a broad range of people. I still get flowers, balloons for my birthday, candy, money........it took him pointing out (he observes me very often while i'm interacting with people) that i could be perceived as a flirt. He goes to a job and contractors (ones from out of town who have never met me) are asking him all these questions about me and he gets upset and tells them that i'm ugly, becaue he's afraid they are going to want to meet me. I think it's cute, but i can see how it is frustrating for him as well. I've since tried to tone it down, but i like being happy and having fun. I guess i need to read people better and try to pick out the ones that would get the wrong ideas in their heads about what i am doing. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 I have had a similar experience. I am very friendly with men as well. When I was running the little league candy stand, I was praised by one of the coaches who thought I was just wonderful for giving so much of my time and helping out the little league, raising money, etc. My exMM told me he was just saying that to get in my pants. It was highly insulting. I didn't take it that way at all, and exMM couldn't even let me enjoy that someone thought so well of me without taking away from something I had accomplished and been acknowledged for. Link to post Share on other sites
alfagrl Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 I'm a scorpio, and i'm beyond friendly to everyone, it's just my personality, and i like being the way i am. My MM and I have had this talk too many times to count..........he gets jealous cuz i'm too friendly! I guess i'm naive in the way that i'm thinking i'm just being nice, and the men are thinking that i'm flirting (this is what he tells me from a man's point of view). At my old job, i worked with the public. I was constantly getting flowers, cards, balloons for my birthday, roses, candy, and i couldn't understand why. These were just regular customers that i thought were being nice! Apparently i'm very naive! Even at my current job, i work with the public, but not such a broad range of people. I still get flowers, balloons for my birthday, candy, money........it took him pointing out (he observes me very often while i'm interacting with people) that i could be perceived as a flirt. He goes to a job and contractors (ones from out of town who have never met me) are asking him all these questions about me and he gets upset and tells them that i'm ugly, becaue he's afraid they are going to want to meet me. I think it's cute, but i can see how it is frustrating for him as well. I've since tried to tone it down, but i like being happy and having fun. I guess i need to read people better and try to pick out the ones that would get the wrong ideas in their heads about what i am doing. Its sad when you have to be careful who your nice to. escpecially if its a MM, you would think he would have more self control. my ExMM got jealous alot also, but to find out he had no right to, he was Married Which I found out much later in our relationship. this brings me to a question I want to ask but it may be too far burined in this thread so I'm gonna start another. To men out their: Is a wedding just jewlery or does it mean something? I will explain in the new thread. Link to post Share on other sites
alfagrl Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 will start another thread for this question Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 Unless the guy you were speaking with has some specific knowledge about how these other guys feel, then I think its all based on what 'HE' feels. And he's projecting "his" feelings onto other men as well. Its makes it very difficult to weed out what the truth really is. Link to post Share on other sites
elmejor Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 El Mejor, is that you?! No, that wasn't me, Chump. Here I am! But, why do YOU keep showing up in the OW/OM forums? Since you keep coming here I'd like to comment on some of what you've written lately about your H and his OW. You've said that they both say they "loved" their spouses even while having their affair, and that neither of them "ever intended to leave" their spouse. Why do you choose to believe ANYTHING they say? They lied and cheated for ten years to be together, do you really think they would tell the truth about anything now; and that their feelings for each other were shut off like faucets just because you "busted" them? You believe they stopped their affair because you told them to? You believe that he "still loved" you even when having a long-term mistress? You call that love? You're still arguing like a wildcat with anyone who calls you on this, but the longer you stick around here with your continuing saga, the more questions you will encounter about your judgment, or lack of, with your situation. Some of the comments are more crass than others, I've noticed. I have to wonder if you won't divorce your spouse in part because you want to prevent your H and OW from being together permanently. Have a nice day! P.S. I'd like to offer my opinion about the topic of this thread, "What attracts a MM to another woman." L--O--V--E. Love is what frequently attracts people to each other, married or not. Many times the H or W do not love their spouse any longer, and they fall in love with another. Interesting that no one has mentioned this, simple as it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest27000 Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 L--O--V--E. Love is what frequently attracts people to each other, married or not. Many times the H or W do not love their spouse any longer, and they fall in love with another. Interesting that no one has mentioned this, simple as it is. Really??? And that's why most of these MM stay with their WIVES?? HA! It's called LUST hunny! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 8, 2006 Share Posted July 8, 2006 Why do you choose to believe ANYTHING they say? They lied and cheated for ten years to be together, do you really think they would tell the truth about anything now; and that their feelings for each other were shut off like faucets just because you "busted" them weeeellllll, they didn't really seem to have that many feelings for each other. They just like to scr**. There was probably some other anger going on the Chump is dealing with. By the way, Elmejor, why are you so angry towards women who choose to forgive their wayward spouses. Could it be that you were dumped for the man's wife????? Link to post Share on other sites
elmejor Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Nope! (LMAO)---and by the way, "guest" have you ever heard of the concept called reality? Link to post Share on other sites
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