RealityCheck Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Ego stroking with compliments, leaning into men to talk, body language, showing interest to a degree that might not be appropriate. You may not even be aware that you are doing this. Do you treat / talk to men the same way you treat / talk to women? Geez, there are so many possibilities, but I still maintain that whether it be Married or single, there are certain qualities that attract one to the other. Link to post Share on other sites
UnknowingOW Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 It's not a MM or OW thing. It's about people we find ourselves drawn to; be it single or married, straight or gay. It's about people we connect with. People you share commonalities with. People you find something that connects you peronally to them, an experience, a want, a desire, a bond of something....hell anything. We are human. How did we come this far without interpersonal relationships. I cannot answer you question without thinking about the bigger of the picture and then discecting it with the details. The bigger picture being, everyone has interpersonal relationships. The discection comes when we draw the lines on what we will do morally when in that friendship. Human frailty? I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
alfagrl Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Ego stroking with compliments, leaning into men to talk, body language, showing interest to a degree that might not be appropriate. You may not even be aware that you are doing this. Do you treat / talk to men the same way you treat / talk to women? I was getting hit on by MM/unavalable men(UM) and had to do a self evaluation as to why. I-(with help from male friends) came up with the way I communicate with people, even strangers. I talk to everyone, men and women the same, very matter of fact like, with ease, as if we are freinds. I think thats what makes me perceptible to MM/UM. I'm learning to discern true friends from co-worker/stranger & treat them accordingly. Some of my men friends thought I was flirting with them when we initially met, because I took interest in their hobbies, books they read, through a complement here and there ect.... I would say things like "Nice hair cut, you clean up well". or "I like your colonge, what are you wearing?" but I do that to women as well. As they got to know me they realized it was just my personality. I guess with men its taken as flirting and thats when they come in for the kill. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Alfagrl - are you an Aquarius? Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I was getting hit on by MM/unavalable men(UM) and had to do a self evaluation as to why. I-(with help from male friends) came up with the way I communicate with people, even strangers. I talk to everyone, men and women the same, very matter of fact like, with ease, as if we are freinds. I think thats what makes me perceptible to MM/UM. I'm learning to discern true friends from co-worker/stranger & treat them accordingly. Some of my men friends thought I was flirting with them when we initially met, because I took interest in their hobbies, books they read, through a complement here and there ect.... I would say things like "Nice hair cut, you clean up well". or "I like your colonge, what are you wearing?" but I do that to women as well. As they got to know me they realized it was just my personality. I guess with men its taken as flirting and thats when they come in for the kill. Well if she's not, Alfagl certainly summed me up in a nut shell!!! I'm a Gemini! I not prepared to change either! I like my friendly, complementary self!!! Link to post Share on other sites
alfagrl Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 No...I'm a leo Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Ego stroking with compliments, leaning into men to talk, body language, showing interest to a degree that might not be appropriate. You may not even be aware that you are doing this. Do you treat / talk to men the same way you treat / talk to women? I talk to men the same way I talk to women. I don't treat men differently than women either. I agree that its just a character trait thing that attracts one to another. I'm learning to discern true friends from co-worker/stranger & treat them accordingly. Some of my men friends thought I was flirting with them when we initially met, because I took interest in their hobbies, books they read, through a complement here and there ect.... I would say things like "Nice hair cut, you clean up well". or "I like your colonge, what are you wearing?" but I do that to women as well. As they got to know me they realized it was just my personality. I need learn to keep a bit aloof with certain people too. However, I also think that its because I am the way I am that I've gotten to know some really awesome people with my best interest at heart. Link to post Share on other sites
alfagrl Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I also think that its because I am the way I am that I've gotten to know some really awesome people with my best interest at heart. I couldn't agree with you more . When my situation happened I doubted my judgement of character of people...How could I have been so blind? but then I look around me at the support & love from friends and thought I wouldn't know half these people if I weren't open and friendly. To look on the bright side- It's ok that one bad apple had to lie and decieve his way into my life. I can't blame the bum, I would want to get to know me too. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I couldn't agree with you more . When my situation happened I doubted my judgement of character of people...How could I have been so blind? but then I look around me at the support & love from friends and thought I wouldn't know half these people if I weren't open and friendly. To look on the bright side- It's ok that one bad apple had to lie and decieve his way into my life. I can't blame the bum, I would want to get to know me too. *laughing* Yes!! I would want to get to know me too!!! Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 *laughing* Yes!! I would want to get to know me too!!! I'm still trying to find me... I'm quite lost. If I do, I think I would need to know me again too... I think I'd enjoy it. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I'm still trying to find me... I'm quite lost. If I do, I think I would need to know me again too... I think I'd enjoy it. You don't have to look to far Zara.... Just put your hand on your heart Honey, and voila!! :love: :love: Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 You don't have to look to far Zara.... Just put your hand on your heart Honey, and voila!! :love: :love: Aw! thanks!!! I feel a bit more like the old me is coming back. Girls!! My friend told me to send her my CV. I think she wants to offer me a new contract at another company. She doesn't know what's been happening here, only that I need a change. I hope the timing works out well... I think she may pay me well too. Link to post Share on other sites
alfagrl Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Aw! thanks!!! I feel a bit more like the old me is coming back. Girls!! My friend told me to send her my CV. I think she wants to offer me a new contract at another company. She doesn't know what's been happening here, only that I need a change. I hope the timing works out well... I think she may pay me well too. See there....things are already starting to look better . That jerk was just a bump in the road in Zara's journey...Can you blame him for wanting to hitch a ride. YOur going places girl!!! Now show 'em what Zara is made of! Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Aw! thanks!!! I feel a bit more like the old me is coming back. Girls!! My friend told me to send her my CV. I think she wants to offer me a new contract at another company. She doesn't know what's been happening here, only that I need a change. I hope the timing works out well... I think she may pay me well too. Gee, this Forum is just full of good news lately!!! I wish you all the luck Zara!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Girls!! My friend told me to send her my CV. I think she wants to offer me a new contract at another company. She doesn't know what's been happening here, only that I need a change. I hope the timing works out well... I think she may pay me well too. That is great news!!! Good for you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Gee, this Forum is just full of good news lately!!! RC, I was just saying EXACTLY that to myself 2 seconds ago.... Isn't it fantastic???? :) Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 RC, I was just saying EXACTLY that to myself 2 seconds ago.... Isn't it fantastic???? :) *laughing* Yes Jessie, and if we never post another sorry assed MM thing again in relation to each of us, we certainly have established some fun and exciting new friendships.. *BIG HUGS* Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 *laughing* Yes Jessie, and if we never post another sorry assed MM thing again in relation to each of us, we certainly have established some fun and exciting new friendships.. *BIG HUGS* We sure have..... ((hugs back at ya!)) Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 We sure have..... ((hugs back at ya!)) I think that my xMM definitely served as a vessel in my meeting you fantastic women. You all inspire me! Much love atcha!! Now, I've gotta go work on that CV of mine... Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I think that my xMM definitely served as a vessel in my meeting you fantastic women. You all inspire me! Much love atcha!! Now, I've gotta go work on that CV of mine... Yes, I guess this Forum served much as the same as the "Coffee Shop" on the set of friends!!!! :D :D :D :D *laughing* Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 In many ways, I feel like I've made soulmate friends around the world. How cool is it to always have your friends looking after your back, helping, guiding and supporting you because we all have one simple thing in common? You guys have meant so much to me. I used to be very lonely. But I'm not anymore. That being said, I do need to get out more!! lol!! But I actually start feeling good getting stuff done around the house and all, because I can go back to chatting with my friends. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Yes, I guess this Forum served much as the same as the "Coffee Shop" on the set of friends!!!! :D :D :D :D *laughing* Remember the ep. with the bullies who were picking on Ross and Chandler... The flamers remind me of those guys. :lmao: You all mean so much to me too! I feel like I have more extended family now! Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 In many ways, I feel like I've made soulmate friends around the world. How cool is it to always have your friends looking after your back, helping, guiding and supporting you because we all have one simple thing in common? You guys have meant so much to me. I used to be very lonely. But I'm not anymore. None of my friends know about my "dirty secret", so I know EXACTLY what you mean...... Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 None of my friends know about my "dirty secret", so I know EXACTLY what you mean...... All my friends know but my family doesn't. My friends still loved me for me, but many were split about how quickly I moved on with my xMM so I had no support system. When xMM and I went our separate ways, my friends couldn't have been happier for me and couldn't understand my misery. Its only here that I was able to find people (now friends/sisters) who really understood my pain. I love you all!! Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 All my friends know but my family doesn't. My friends still loved me for me, but many were split about how quickly I moved on with my xMM so I had no support system. When xMM and I went our separate ways, my friends couldn't have been happier for me and couldn't understand my misery. Its only here that I was able to find people (now friends/sisters) who really understood my pain. I love you all!! Very much the same for me Zara..... My friends and family knew and never judged me either way. Those are the type of people I like to have in my life. I agree, what brought me here was sharing the pain that ALL of us can relate too! Grateful too, because I met some really great treasures here being yourself, MO, WA, Jessie, LNF, SL, BI, Sami etc..... And; yes! We must meet somewhere. Hey! Let's all go to MO's:D I just may get a glimpse of Bon Jovi!!! And; NO! I don't give a rats ass if he's married!.....lol Link to post Share on other sites
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