Author RealityCheck Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 Jessie..... Sami... I know what ya all are saying....*Sigh* It always does come down to choice. I guess I can only cross that bridge when I get there! Think of the worst, hope for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Think of the worst, hope for the best. What are you hoping for..? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RealityCheck Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 Sami....*laughing* I knew you were going to ask that question! I am hopeful that he does NOT contact me in person! Email seems to be easy for me not to respond. When I see him, well... I melt! I do believe every OW feels this! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Sami....*laughing* I knew you were going to ask that question! I am hopeful that he does NOT contact me in person! Email seems to be easy for me not to respond. When I see him, well... I melt! I do believe every OW feels this! You've got that right. That is why I am glad I don't have to see him and he doesn't do e-mail. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 I am hopeful that he does NOT contact me in person! Email seems to be easy for me not to respond. When I see him, well... I melt! Yes....... this is a common problem around here, isn't it??? Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Yes....... this is a common problem around here, isn't it??? I don't know... I've never experienced him coming to me without it being arranged beforehand. For most of our R, it was me going to him. I doubt he'd force himself into my presence without having OK-ed it with me first BUT... ... I was daydreaming when I got back from my walk today... that his car would be parked in my street, he'd be in the drivers seat, head back, listening to some music... and my heart would STOP. But... if he got out of the car and said anything except 'I've told her... it's all ok... don't worry'... I'd be SO BLOODY ANGRY with him!!!!! I can't believe any of you wouldn't be angry in that situation. I don't care how 'cute' he might be... don't you prefer someone who cares about you and respects you..?? Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 I have those same kind of daydreams, but its more like never knowing if or when he will show up. Everyday I pull into the parking lot at work and wonder if his truck will be parked there. And what he would have to say to me. I can pretty much predict what he would say. But none of it would matter if all he had to do was dance around the obvious or start making promises again. I just know my whole body would start to shake. I can't help it. Its totally involuntary. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RealityCheck Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 Yes, I tremble... That's exactly what I get when I come face to face with him. Something I have never experienced before. I have felt pulsating heart flutters with others, but NEVER trembling! WTF.....*laughing* He's better than a few drinks! He fills me up with adreniline! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Well I don't know that I'd call it adrenaline after all this time. No, definitely not adrenaline. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RealityCheck Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 MO.... *laughing* Well for me it is.....I just want to jump his bones!! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Of course I can understand that! But its been too long for me. Its easier to try not to think about how much I want him! If he did show up, I would just have to try not to look in his eyes or hear his voice, because I'm afraid that would be it for me. But I know I'd never let him know that. I've got too much pride now! Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 I don't know... I've never experienced him coming to me without it being arranged beforehand. Sorry, I just meant the fact a lot of us seem to "melt" when we see them..... Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Sorry, I just meant the fact a lot of us seem to "melt" when we see them..... Yeah I know... but... I'm not going to melt if he's being a turd to me! I don't care what he looks like!! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Yeah I know... but... I'm not going to melt if he's being a turd to me! I don't care what he looks like!! LOL!!! A Turd!! lol!! Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 LOL!!! A Turd!! lol!! LMAO I have such a great turn of phrase at times Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 But... if he got out of the car and said anything except 'I've told her... it's all ok... don't worry'... I'd be SO BLOODY ANGRY with him!!!!! I can't believe any of you wouldn't be angry in that situation. I don't care how 'cute' he might be... don't you prefer someone who cares about you and respects you..?? Yes, if that happened to me, I'd be up in Court for MURDER!!! Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Seriously, I don't know whether to laugh or smuck myself up side the head! Most of you know my story of how I was NC for 5 1/2 months then my MM came to my door only 2 weekends ago a mess wanting to see me in which I agreed because it kept me in a "non-committed relationship. Well this weekend I got a call from my MM saying that he will be going NC. Why? Because he said he had a long talk with his W for the first time in 4 freakin years and he felt that he should really try to work on the M. I don't want to be misunderstood, so I'm going to tell you all that I said to him I thought he was doing the right thing! I am all for trying to repair a marriage. My dilema is.... I have a gut and intuitive feeling this sagma is not over! Thing is, I'm really beginning to feel more like a yo-yo with this guy! The way I see it is, if he wants to stay, freakin stay! If he chooses to go, freakin go! But all in all I'm getting a little tired of going on "HIS" rollar coaster ride. I guess you all would agree that he really should "Fix Himself" right? Zara WWIU MO Sami BI SL LNF HELP! Anyone out there! Needing some opinions! Man! I'm pissed! Hi RC, Reading your initial post really got me pretty mad. You know, life is pretty hard already without someone playing the emotional roller coaster thing with you. I read it and then I see what I went through in the first month of my split with my xMM. He decided he needed to go home, but when he saw me outside of work, he couldn't keep his hands off me and when I saw him, like you, I melted. Then a few days later, he would tell me how it was great (physically), but it just didn't feel right. That he and I can't continue on the way we do becuase he has to respect his W. Well, what about respecting me enough to keep his hands off. RC, I don't know about you, but I really felt used. I really felt disrespected. I think that when I think about how he made me feel at the end of it all, I think that if he were to beg on his hands and knees, I would not be able to forgive him for the hurt he's caused in my life. I also know that I would have a hard time trusting what he says to me for the simple fact that if he loved me so much, why is he able to let me go so easily? I think that its sick that they talk about how f***ed up they are and then says how they have to fix themselves and that they are really to blame for the problems in their marriage. Its what my xMM said to me after all the mess. Well, buddy, if you are so f***ed up, it doesn't entitle you to f*** up my life either. I think that I have to continuously remind myself of this. That he's just one sick dude that I simply cannot trust. I hope for nothing with that man. If anything, I hope that I can just work peacefully without contact from him. Its funny, we worked extremely well together. We really made a fantastic team. C'est la vie. All good things must come to an end. Take care Chiquita. I've missed you! xox. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Woa!! Zara, what are you doing back already???? Welcome home girl!! We're all online in the middle of the afternoon!! lol! Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 nah, still away, but couldn't stay away. I miss you all! Then I saw this post and was like whoa! gives me the heebie jeebies as what RC's xmm said to her is like what mine said to me. RC, I'll raise you twenty five peanuts that he will be back in contact within 2 weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 nah, still away, but couldn't stay away. I miss you all! Then I saw this post and was like whoa! gives me the heebie jeebies as what RC's xmm said to her is like what mine said to me. RC, I'll raise you twenty five peanuts that he will be back in contact within 2 weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 nah, still away, but couldn't stay away. I miss you all! Then I saw this post and was like whoa! gives me the heebie jeebies as what RC's xmm said to her is like what mine said to me. RC, I'll raise you twenty five peanuts that he will be back in contact within 2 weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RealityCheck Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 Zara Baby!!!! Welcome home! *squeeze* I do agree with you whole heartedly in the fact that just because his life is so f***ed up, doesn't mean he should f*** mine up too! But then it does all come back to my choice. I know this! Your story scares the hell out of me! Sheeesh...you two even moved in together and the idiot still went back to his W.!!! Man! that's gotta hurt something fierce! Zara...*laughing* I'm not going to place bets with you this time, because I believe he will contact me by the weekend. I just can feel it! Hell! I still got to get access to ping so I can send out those 10 peanuts I owe you via Fed EX.....lol When he called me to tell me he is going NC, he was crying like a baby! Boo...hoo! I will state for the record "not one tear shed from my eyes"! I think I was in shock more than anything! I do feel I cried enough tears in NC and I haven't got any to spare on him. Link to post Share on other sites
rossm Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Seriously, I don't know whether to laugh or smuck myself up side the head! Most of you know my story of how I was NC for 5 1/2 months then my MM came to my door only 2 weekends ago a mess wanting to see me in which I agreed because it kept me in a "non-committed relationship. Well this weekend I got a call from my MM saying that he will be going NC. Why? Because he said he had a long talk with his W for the first time in 4 freakin years and he felt that he should really try to work on the M. I don't want to be misunderstood, so I'm going to tell you all that I said to him I thought he was doing the right thing! I am all for trying to repair a marriage. My dilema is.... I have a gut and intuitive feeling this sagma is not over! Thing is, I'm really beginning to feel more like a yo-yo with this guy! The way I see it is, if he wants to stay, freakin stay! If he chooses to go, freakin go! But all in all I'm getting a little tired of going on "HIS" rollar coaster ride. I guess you all would agree that he really should "Fix Himself" right? Just read this. OMG. I feel for you. Now after begging his way back he says that HE wants NC? Something doesn't seem right. Fine, let him. Like some of the others said, I think he'll be back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RealityCheck Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 Rossm.... *Sigh* I know, he's really messed up! Sad thing is, I'm feeling a little messed up with him right about now. I do plan on letting it go! Link to post Share on other sites
rossm Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Rossm.... *Sigh* I know, he's really messed up! Sad thing is, I'm feeling a little messed up with him right about now. Completely understandible. What I do know is, from reading your posts before he showed back up, is that you seemed very much accepting and in control of the situation. I think you can find that RC again. You just need to get off the roller coaster and maybe sit on a nice shady bench for a while with a tall, cold one. Link to post Share on other sites
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