My brother in law will destroy my marriage!

[Guest]

Last year my fiance and I were about to get married when he had cold feet and canceled the wedding. He moved out (we lived together) and hid for 3 weeks with his brother who had come for the wedding.

 

When his brother went away, my then ex-fiance came back to me grovelling. After a lot of grovelling, I took him back.

 

His brother supported my fiance's ignominious act and fueled him against me. He also sent me a nasty email blaming me for his brother's actions. I had only met this man once and I was very nice to him. I was so shocked and devastated with my fiance running away from our wedding and then had to receive such a hateful email!

 

We got married this year (fiance finally got over his cold feet), but because of my teenager's school we have to live apart until school is over.

 

Three days after our wedding my new husband announces that his brother is coming to live with him for 6 weeks..he willl work for him then go back to his country and maybe come back here again.

 

So my new husband is living with his bro instead of his wife.

 

The brother is a 52 year old bitter divorced man who counts on my now husband for everything. He is a woman hater too.

 

Since he arrived, I have avoided him, since I hate the guy. My husband insists that I have to be buddy buddy with his bro. I just can't. I can be polite, no more.

 

My husband not only lives and works with the guy, he also wants him to spend our weekends with him. I feel very unconfortable around him after what he said to me in that email and knwoing that he could have made a difference in last year's fiasco. He was the only person who could have some influence over my then fiance, telling him not to do that to me. Instead, the bro fueled him against me, wanting to have his bro just for himself-since he is such a loser when it comes to women (wife left him 10+ years ago).

 

My husband now is taking revenge on me because of this bro. He told me his bro is 100 times more important than me. He rarely sees me now because of this bro. They live, work and play together. I am alone 35 miles away. I cannot move until mid August to where he is.

 

I don't know what to do. I just cannot entertain the idea of socializing with this bro. I don't trust him or like him. But this has put a tremendous pressure on our new marriage. His bro IS more important than me, and I can lose. I just know I cannot be that fake and smile and be nice to the bro. Few people witnessed the pain I went through last year.

 

I wish this brother found a woman and left my husband alone, but my husband wants his help with his business, and the brother of course wants the money my husband can pay him.

 

How can I not let his brother kill our new marriage? I don't want to get divorced after 2 months.