antoine Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Hi all, I dated this single mom for 16 months (two 6 1/2 years old identical twin daughters) and I have never been this attached to anyone. We've both been bruised before but I think this time is the good time. About 1 1/2 months ago we fought and broke up. She was devastated (I think) and I was upset too. But it was in a period of intense work for me and it didn't hurt as much. Now, that it has settled down, I realize that we could be good together and that I should have tried to get her back before. I am going to propose to my little panda bear. She dated while I was ignoring her and it drives me crazy, but she was fair and honest about it. It hurts like hell, but I want to get over it. We still have 2 years left before I get my PhD and here's what I was thinking. If she says yes, we have a plan. Two years to make things good, two years to make sure we know each other entirely, two years to practice conflict resolution, cohabitation skills, and everyday life tidbits. Now, it's been rough for both of us and I don't want her to feel pressured. I just want her to know that I love her and I love her daughters. I'm going to the store tomorrow. I'm so clueless when it comes to buying stuff. I'll hope I don't get ripped off or get something ugly. Sometimes it's tough being a guy. I hope she says yes... Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Congratulations.....!! I hope it all works out for you! Make sure you go to a reputable store. A solitare is always a good choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author antoine Posted May 24, 2006 Author Share Posted May 24, 2006 I guess I was asking you if it's a good idea. I have a hard time dealing with her being with someone else... Also, what about not having a ring but asking her to go to the store with me. Would a woman be upset with this or is it better? (this way she could pick one) Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 I don't know how much this bothers you, so it's hard to answer. But if you feel you can handle this, and it feels right to you, then I would say do it! At least she was honest with you about it. I'm sure in time you can move on from that. I personally would love to be involved in buying the ring, but that's just me, and for every girl like me, there's one who'd prefer the suprise. What do you think your girl would prefer? You know her best after all?! If you think she would like to go, then by all means take her! Gee... I'm not all that helpful here am I??! Link to post Share on other sites
Author antoine Posted May 24, 2006 Author Share Posted May 24, 2006 Thanks for your help. Anyone else has comments??? Link to post Share on other sites
slinkysu Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Thanks for your help. Anyone else has comments??? Yes - if you don't know FOR SURE that you want to marry this woman then DON'T ASK HER! Why do you feel that a good way of getting back with her is asking to marry her? Why not just get back together, explain to her you are serious and you do want a long term commitment and then see if in a year's time you definitely want to marry her and then ask. In my opinion it is wrong to ask someone to marry you if you aren't sure. You will only bring her heartache (as witnessed on many of these boards) by asking her, getting engaged and then in a year and a half when you may possibly hit another problem (busy at work or whatever) and then never marrying. It's great that you love her and her daughters - definitely tell her - but don't ask her to be your wife if you aren't 100% sure that this is the woman you can't live without and want to be with for the rest of your life. Just my opinion but asking someone to marry you isn't a band aid to a relationship, nor should it ever be. Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Getting married to someone isn't a fix all of relationships, in fact it can add even MORE stress to the situation and makes it much harder. If you love this girl and want to get back together with her then tell her that, but I would give it awhile before you put a ring on her finger, cause from the sound of it you aren't 100% sure that this is the one you want to be with and just want to use this as a way to get her back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author antoine Posted May 24, 2006 Author Share Posted May 24, 2006 OK. I'll hint at it in the future but hold it off for right now. Link to post Share on other sites
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