kgal Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 My LDBF came to visit about 2 weeks ago...about a day after he left, he began seeming distant...in that, he didn't call as much or act like he had time for me. I felt really sad because here I was, doing all the calling, text messaging, etc. I told him how I felt..but he denied that it was "one sided" and he continued to seem distant. Last week was my bday and he didnt call or write. He really hurt me by not doing so...and I called that night in tears to tell him how I felt that he missed my bday. He didn't return my calls for a week...and a week later, he Im'ed me a bit...only leaving later and not returning like he said he would. I'm getting to think this guy is out for one thing and it's getting me super p.o.'d that he would tease me around like this...by coming here, making me feel special and then leaving and becoming someone totally different. I'm wondering if he's lying to me and maybe he has someone else he's not telling me about??? It's just really getting to me now. Thanks for listening. Link to post Share on other sites
luvvedupnyc Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 God honey... i SO KNOW what you are going through. I met my ldr in April... and he has been busy but now... after me asking him if he was pissed off with me... he hasnt been online since Thursday (when he was fine)... I called him last night he was cold as HELL... its horrible to go through... I have kinda accepted that it may well be over and i'm gutted.. The best bit of advice I got... stop getting in touch... I have backed off i.e stopped emailing, texting and well he isnt online anyway... Its my birthday next week... so if he doesnt text I think I will know its over... thing is.. we do get on well as friends... and I am going over in July anyway for a holiday... so my fear now is I see him and get all upset as we just cant work far away... in person yeah... Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 How long has he been your boyfriend, and is this behavior typical of how he's been the rest of the time? Or is this distance you perceive something new that started only after your last visit? Some guys aren't into phone/email/texting all the time, especially if they get busy at work or there are other things going on. For example, my BF gets super-busy in the spring/summer with his softball team, and making repairs to his house, plus yard work, etc. It doesn't mean he feels distant or loves me less; it's just his pattern, and I don't take it personally if I don't hear from him as often. Missing your birthday isn't good, but you know guys can be clueless like that sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
luvvedupnyc Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Nor your so right... my ldr sat and said work goes crazy in summer and it has... and at times before I went over he was online but didnt talk... so I dunno if he now just doesnt come online as he knows i get upset he doesnt talk. He seemed fine last time we spoke and to be honest before we met up he rarely emailed or text but he was always online.... I think I have pissed him off to be honest with me going "whats wrong" "are you mad" u can see how it would piss someone off..... My mates are either telling me hes probably just busy and leave him be (ha) OR ... "well we didnt know why you were chasing an american anyway" So its a hard situation.... I wouldnt wish it on anyone. if anyone wants to chat (keep forgetting to post this) my email is [email protected] Link to post Share on other sites
Vertex Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 I think in these situations it is good to get reassurance that you are indeed busy but still love the other person. Otherwise it is a bad sign. Link to post Share on other sites
Ayumi Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Last week was my bday and he didnt call or write. He really hurt me by not doing so...and I called that night in tears to tell him how I felt that he missed my bday. He didn't return my calls for a week...and a week later, he Im'ed me a bit...only leaving later and not returning like he said he would. Thanks for listening. Wow, that's a really bad sign. You might have to move on, because this guy is going to hurt you. It's absolutely heartless he didn't do anything for your bday. I hope things turn out...but that's a very bad sign. Link to post Share on other sites
Keen Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 They are right, you know. You may feel a lot for this guy but he's not being sensitive to how you feel, even after you've told him how much his neglect is hurting you. Girl, if he really cares and loves you, he would put aside his inner demons (for all we know, he may be having a hard time coping with newfound emotions as well) for a moment, and talk it out with you. The fact that he can't do this is saying that he's not very mature emotionally yet. You've done your part, you've called him, texted him, everything. Now let him come to you. If he is serious about keeping you, he will come to you of his own accord. Guys are like that. they will get up and get what they want if they want it hard enough. You can be emotional and all upset, but now step back and look after yourself. The ball is in his court now. In your journey of loving, this is not going to be the only problem the two of you will face. If he can't wake up and smell the roses now and respond to you when you've made it so obvious he's hurting you, then he's really not worth a further second of your time. Trust me, girl, he's not the one you say you love, nor is he the one you should be loving, when he's so absorbed in his own world. Link to post Share on other sites
ronnieromance Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 WHether it's a bad sign, I suppose, rests on the meaning of the LD in LDBF. Anyway, my Spidey sense says forget about him, get on webdate and find a Non-LDBF. -R- Link to post Share on other sites
tidal Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 the long distance thing doesn't really matter, it's more that he's just not into you. i did this to a bf before because i just plain didn't like him. sure, i was busy, but i was making time out of my life for my friends and other people that i did like. i just flat out didn't text him or anything because i found him boring. he would call me and i'd cut the conversation short. also, usually when i'm with a person, i tend to have more fun with them, than when i'm away from them. so perhaps, your bf just isn't cut out for long distance stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 Alot of time, people who don't want to take that painful initiative to end a relationship they aren't happy with use this cowardly method to end things. He's probably found someone else. You probably should, too, because even if he's NOT cheating (which I'd bet he is) he's not treating you well. Your pride may be hurt right now, but you'll move on. He's a coward, and isn't worth your time. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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