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Line In The Sand, Mistake Or Not


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We have been together for 3 yrs, we love each other but every 6 to 8 months she throws a big curve ball and we end up apart for weeks on end, there are reasons for her mood swings (teenage kids ussualy) but she always turns it all on us, picking our other wise good relationship apart and blaming me for everything,

 

I know she has a lot of stress with the kids, but i can only take so much before i bite, and then we end up apart, this happened last wednesday again, we rowed, but there was no anger it was just airing our concerns, she said i lied to much, (i dont lie to her) she said i had no drive, well you get the picture, things that hurt, anyhow i said that if she felt i was all these things was she saying that she wanted to end it, she would not end it, i kept asking but she just went silent,

 

Eventually she said that we should just have a break, but at this point my stupid male ego kicked in and i stated in a rather arrogant way that i would give her 2 weeks and that if i hadnt heard from her by then that as far as i was concerened it was over,

 

My concern now is that by drawing a line in the sand i have done the wrong thing, should i have just left it as was, or by putting a time limit on her decision, have i shot myself in the foot, female advice needed here please, im worried that by acting like an arrogant fool i have shot myself in the foot,

 

Many thanks...:(

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Why describe it as "stupid male ego"? For how many years are you prepared to have her blaming you and accusing you of things you don't do just because she feels bad ? For how long do you want to be put through the emotional pain of "having a break" every few months ?

 

No need to be arrogant of course, but you're much better off calmly asserting that you're not going to put up with her flaking out on you anymore and leave the ball in her court. Don't be walked all over.

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Brisman is right. While I probably wouldn't have given her an ultimatum, it may not be such a bad idea. Just don't sit around waiting for the day. Get on with your life. She may come back, but it doesn't sound like this relationship has alot of long term potential. Don't be surprised if you're in the same position before too long...

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