Now, WTH is she doing?

[Thompy]

I'm sure you get this all the time... lol... But I'll tell my story to all of those who will listen. My g/f and I of 3 1/2 years split up give or take a month ago. She called and said she was going out with some friends while at was at work, no prob with me. She called the next morning and I asked if she had fun, she replied with she had too much fun and that she thought we should take a break. I said ok, you can't make anyone else happy till you figure your own self out, and make yourself happy. After hanging up she sent multiple e-mails telling me this was only temporary, and asked me what I thought about all this. I told her to take her time, get things straight and we'll be fine. She agreed. We had made a down payment on an appartment while we both worked, and while I finished up with college. The thing is we were leaving in less than 3 weeks after we split.

After all the emails and such I let her be for a about 5 days. I called her and said it was over, she doesn't love me anymore, and she's much happier by herself.

 

Ok now the big deal. She's getting herself into trouble. She beginning to drink heavily, which was never her at all. Both of us drank about 5 times in the time we were together. She spent the night in a police station with one of her friends which she was riding with because he got a D.U.I. less than a week after we split. I'm worried. I don't want to see her make a mistake, or get hurt. She continues to tell friends she loves me to death, and cares for me immensely, but she has it drilled into her head it won't work. She and I are both stubborn. lol... Her dad drinks heavily and I talked to her about a week ago, and she said she was turning into him and was sorry for everything she did. Thing is, 10 mins later she was screaming and cussing at me for no apparent reason.

 

I'm head over heals for this girl... She's done this before as well... Which is a bad sign. She left for about a month, then called crying saying she made a mistake. Is she going to do this again? Or do you guys feel she's gone for good this time? I feel she's a little scared in making such a big commitment such as moving in, so on and so forth. Just a little help... if you would... SORRY SO LONG... lol

[mr.gerbick]

It sounds like you are a very patient and understanding person to go through all of this more then once and be cool and calm about it. The night she went out and called you in the morning and said she wanted a break, I could only assume the conversation was a little more detailed then how you explained. But if you care for her, did you tell her that? It may be a case of she presented you with this option and you were just like "okay cool", it may make her feel like YOU don't want to be with her. Maybe you are just trying to avoid confrontation, or maybe you are just a really relaxed person, but from the way it was explained seems like that may be the case, only because if that is really the way the conversation went, from a girls perspective, it may seem like she felt unloved.

 

Does she have any diagnosed issues like being bi-polar or something of the sort? I only ask because of the sudden change in your second conversation you explained.

[Thompy]

Nah, she's good when it comes to the "medical" stuff she was drinking when she was fine, then cussed. Go figure. I did show effection though, at least I thought I did. I mean, I told her the balls in her court when we split. I wasn't mean about it, but I told her she knows my answer that I care for her more than my life itself. On the other hand, she needed to make herself happy. For she can't make anyone else happy, unless she is happy with her ownself. 3 days later it turns into I don't love you anymore....

 

As for me, yeah, I'm laidback. Nothing tends to bother me, unless its real bad. But when she said she needed a break, I just didn't tell her ok go for it. I wasn't an "I don't care" thing. I told her to take what time she needed to get right with herself. She assured me many times it was only temporary in some emails. But like I said 3 days later, it turned into I don't love you anymore. Is it odd for someone to be with someone for almost 4 years and forget about them completely in 3 days? I'm just looking for some answers to see if she's trying to forget, and hiding her feelings and being stubborn, or if she's pretty serious. Along with telling her friends she still cares, she also tells them she'll never date me again. Which she has also said before. I'm kinda at a crossroad. I wanna move on, that way if she does call its a bonus, but if not I'm not gonna be waiting by the phone for the rest of my life.

[Spitkicker]

ditch her... she's doing one of two things...

 

playing mind games with you and keeping you on a string...

 

or she's a coward and can't leave you without feeling like it will hurt you... which basically drags things on.

 

either way... your relationship is dead in the water until she herself.. makes a 100% effort to get with you.

 

Meeting half way just won't do.

[Diver012]

Tough call. I think you hit the nail on the head though. When she went out with her friends that night, she got scared at what she could be giving by moving in with you. So she ended it with you.

 

My own opinion, I wouldnt take her back at this point. Heres why:

 

Lets say you do take her back. Lets say she even moves in. Everythings fine and dandy. Another year rolls by. The relationship grows deeper. You want to spend the rest of your life with this person with no questsion. You propose.. she gets scared, again, moves out and ends it again.

 

If after 3.5 years with someone, they dont know if there ready to give up the single life... I would let her keep walking.

 

or maybe im jsut bitter..

[gfto]

she replied with she had too much fun and that she thought we should take a break.

 

That's the ballgame. You're out.

 

I said ok, you can't make anyone else happy till you figure your own self out, and make yourself happy.

 

Excellent response; you get an "A" in self-control. But, that should've been you're final contact with her. Next!