I admit, I want a job to make friends

[dt1973]

All this stuff about work, career, what do I wanna do, pay, salary.. etc etc.. I always talk about the expected answers.. yah I wanna work close to home.. I have experience with this and that.. blah blah.

 

But I'll be honest all I want is a job where there's cool people I can make friends with and maybe start a new social life--cause I have none. I'm not a corporate person that's 4 sure. I feel more comfortable in some work boots and dickies. And those type of jobs I can make friends. But then, when I do work there, I feel so much like I'm not using my full potential. So now I work in IT doing web development. Totally laid back, pay is so good, everything's perfect--except I'm not in the kind of social envirenment I like.

 

I think if I already had the social life/relationships I wanted then yeah, I can go corporate, or stick with the IT crowd. Cause I would know I got my true friends and life on the outside, so I can maintain my identity. But since I don't got that, my work and coworkers is all I see. I can't help but become influenced somehow by them. And I'm not likin it. I'm becoming more antisocial, and I don't like being like this.

 

I know some of ya must be like this too. Anyone got any stories to tell..

[Butterflying]

On my job, my co-workers are women like me. But there is an age gap between us. My youngest co-worker is 20 years older than me. They are always telling me that I should be out having fun instead of having a career. They tell me stories about when they were young. They were partying and traveling all over the world.

 

I would like to have a better social life. The problem is, unless you work in entertainment, or a similar social scene, a social life is very difficult. Join some type of club organization that occupies your time outside of work. Then you can have your career and a social life.

[TravelLight]

It's a double edged sword.

 

Had jobs where all my social life has been work related. Been great social but no escape. Think Cisco or Google. They make their environments very comfortable. Then you don't notice the overtime.

 

Had jobs where I wouldn't want to socialise with anyone, bar one or two. But been in a relationship so it didn't matter.

 

And not had either too!

 

I'd say try and move around jobs. Keep in touch with the people you like.

 

I am changing my career at 30 years old (from IT) to be an Architect. Why? Because, although Architects talk a lot of bollocks as well, at least you can talk to anyone about a building. Ever tried waxing lyrical about some bit of code you knocked out during the day. I'm tired of being that abstract.

 

You've really got to be into what you're doing. Also, different companies have different views on how they want to run a company. There are some corporate companies that have relaxed a little these days.

 

If you're really passionate about what you do, then fine. To an extent this is the same with any job. We all talk shop with people around us. I will never work in a bank. Ever.

 

You can't pick your colleagues. Unless...

 

Start your own company!

[PuppyDogEyes]

So now I work in IT doing web development. Totally laid back, pay is so good, everything's perfect--except I'm not in the kind of social envirenment I like.

 

I'm really in a bad spot: I work as an administrative assistant in my company's IT department. In other words: I'm not quite in IT... but I'm not on the level of the other women at my workplace, either. (My department is all-male, except for myself.) It's kind of hard sometimes to talk about what I do, because some of it is a bit technical, and most of the people at my workplace are the kind of folk that call me when they need to simply reboot their computer. (No technical skills at all - that's what I'm there for.)

 

I'm trying to make stabs at making friends, though, because I work in a very small office, and to isolate yourself there is more or less impossible. Add to it that my boss has known me since I was a child, and there's no way I can "hide out".

 

I don't see that there's anything wrong with making friends at work, but I wouldn't go socializing with them on the weekends, either. I try to leave my work friendships at work.

 

- pde.

[Art_Critic]

Have you thought about getting a second part time job for fun ?

 

Maybe at a bar..Home Depot..or someplace that your interests can bring you into contact with people..

 

Maybe a IT consultant part time... that would get you out to meet a lot of people

[dt1973]

I would like to have a better social life. The problem is, unless you work in entertainment, or a similar social scene, a social life is very difficult.quote]

 

It's like every college kid in LA wants to be in entertainment. I guess I do kinda have that same mentality. But I'm a master of all trades, and an expert at none...

 

I am changing my career at 30 years old (from IT) to be an Architect. Why? Because, although Architects talk a lot of bollocks as well, at least you can talk to anyone about a building. Ever tried waxing lyrical about some bit of code you knocked out during the day. I'm tired of being that abstract.

 

Exactly man I was thinkin the same thing. Funny I met 3 people who are all into architecture or landscape. I totally can be into that. I know what you mean, you need a job you can talk to people about and they'll be like hey that's cool! Yah, I don't tell my dates about my preference for .NET over java frameworks ;P

 

BTW, how's the architecture goin? Did you go back to school for it. Did you start from scratch? I was lookin into it.. pshh seems so impossible. I know I can't get into the program at UCLA but they have a masters program but.. man seems so impossible. Timewise. And, I'm lazy ;P

 

 

PuppyDogEyes: Yea I known a bunch of girls like you. But you know what they don't seem to be as bad as the guys who are miserable. I used to do the rebooting quick fix too. Yea people are stupid. You hit restart and they're like, "wow you're so good!"

 

Art Critic: Yea definately thought about a p/t job. I don't want nothin too serious, maybe a grocery store. I tried the airport. But you know what, I honestly don't have the energy to do anything after I get home at like 6pm. You know. You get home at 6pm, you wanna chill.

[morrigan]

On my job, my co-workers are women like me. But there is an age gap between us. My youngest co-worker is 20 years older than me. life.

 

It's the same here. My boss and my co-workers are all at least 20 years older than me as well. I get along with them well, but as far as interests outside of work, we have nothing in common. I keep my work and private life separate.

 

Don't worry about your potential or your degree, if you truly enjoy certain kinds of work and can live on the income from it, why not do it? If you're into sports or music, try finding a job at a radio station or a nighclub that is for certain sports fans or has live bands. If you're into travel, look for construction companies that frequently travel around your state or out of it, or just work for a construction company seasonally.

[PuppyDogEyes]

PuppyDogEyes: Yea I known a bunch of girls like you. But you know what they don't seem to be as bad as the guys who are miserable. I used to do the rebooting quick fix too. Yea people are stupid. You hit restart and they're like, "wow you're so good!"

 

roflmao!!!!!

 

Yanno, I was sitting here reading that, and I could hear that last bit in my head! "Wow.... you're incredible, how did you learn that???!!!??"

 

"It's called an on/off button."

 

I hear you about getting home and not wanting to do anything. Maybe if you did get a second job, tailor it so that it's something you love to do at the same time - you know what I mean? Say if you like to read, apply for a job at a bookstore.... or if you like sports, work at a sports bar.... something that matches your interests. That way it won't seem so much like work, and you can meet other people who share those interests, so that you'll have plenty to talk about.

 

I'm sort of in the same place you are, so I can empathize.

 

- pde.

[Grrlish]

It's nice to have friends at work. I have made some great, long-term friends from meeting people at work.

 

I've also gone through stretches of time where I've worked from home, and man does it get lonely!

 

However, one sometimes has to be careful about which co-workers they choose to bring into their personal life. I've made the mistake of trusting co-workers, including sharing information about my personal life, and I've been stabbed in the back by some of these people.

 

You should also not hold yourself back, professionally or intellectually, because you are seeking your main social outlet through work.

 

Investigate some other ways to meet new people and to make friends. It's hard, I know, I'm trying to do it myself lately due to moving and changing jobs.

 

Take a class for the fun of it, something interactive. I'm taking a sports class right now.

 

Join a sports team at the rec center.

 

Join another type of local group/club: toastmasters, Kiwanis, Optimists, etc.

 

If you live in or near a decent-size town, look for activity groups in the paper or online (skiing, hiking, singles groups, etc.)

[LakeGirl]

I wish I had co-workers to socialize with. Well I do but it's my husband. I miss the corporate world. I miss hearing water cooler rumors and just meeting new people and finding out facts about them and their lives. Friday night happy hours were always fun as well. This always gave me good conversation topics when alone with my hubby. Now since we work to gether and see the same things on a daily basis, our dinner conversations are kind of on the boring side.

 

Socializing with co-workers and being best buddies are 2 seperate things I think, yeah some great friendships will be formed from employement. But I think it is just a great way to meet new people and learn new things in many different realms.

[Ladywithafan]

...you learn that work is work. Someone else mentioned about getting too personal which in my experience is true.

 

If you don't want your business known, you keep it on the low down. That means do not mix business with pleasure...unless it's a second, "for fun" job.

 

I'm back in the work world after marriage, building a home, having children, and getting divorced.

 

I was very lucky. I started at my job through Kelly Services, on the first interview was hooked up with a property management firm and almost two years later, still working for a great company with room for advancement. I live in FL...so there's slim pickings unless you're a server, doctor, lawyer, or business owner. My company manages properties on an island and is fabulous. Job is a bit relaxed and work is at the beach. Life is good!

 

If the hurricane strikes my area...there goes my job...

[brashgal]

Any telemarketing firms or Inside Sales Centers in your area? They are full of young folks who have active social lives and these places always need IT people to keep all the computers running. The IT guys where I used to work were very popular guys, even the nerdy ones.

[Guest]

I would definitely keep my business and personal relationships separate. I mean of course you can do lunch, happy hours, etc. with co-workers but it's good to have friends you don't work with so you can have a release from work. Also you can't tell your personal busines to co-workers if you want to keep it personal. It always gets around the office.