Guest Posted May 25, 2006 Posted May 25, 2006 When dealing with guys, do you pay more attention to what they say or what they actually do? I am friends with a guy (we are both twenty), and we hang out all the time. He has called when we get together dates and me his girlfriend, but he also says I am his friend/best friend. He always like to be touching me if we are sitting next to each other, cuddle, and tickle me (never kissed though). He acts completely like a boyfriend, but he is hesitant to commit. I seriously doubt he is seeing anyone else between working full-time and the amount of time seeing me and talking on the phone multiple times per day. I sometimes feel like he is holding back, but it's not from a lack of liking me. We have both met each other's parents, which I think means something. My mother is convinced that he likes me, too. So....I guess should I just be patient and see where it goes, but it is obvious he is a very slow mover. I would just like opinions on whether I should place more emphasis on his actions or his words.
Soulful Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 Why don't you just ask him what's up? Then you will have a verbal answer.
darrren12000 Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 i say you have to pay attention to inconsistency. if he says "i love you and want to be with you" but acts in a different way, you have a problem; if he says "let's just be friends" but acts like more, then you have a problem (and will be tormented unless you solve it). dont just sit in silence hoping things will go somewhere. he could be thinkng about something completely different. a friend of mine had everyone in his family thinking he wanted me....he still said "lets be friends."
Lovegod Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 He likely wants to throw you into his bed and have his way with you, but he's too goddam scared of your reaction if he drops the ball. So, guess who has to do it? YOU!!! That's right, you get the privelage of telling him how you feel! You also have the benefit of not being afraid of getting a slap for doing this (unlike most of the wanker men in North America). He'll just distance himself if he doesn't find you attractive.
SuperMonk Posted May 26, 2006 Posted May 26, 2006 He definetely likes you, seems like he's a little scared/inexperienced of going for the big move (kiss) because he's not sure how you'd respond. While some of the responses to your post say "You have to do it" that's all wishful thinking is it, considering that most women are typically submissive in romantic overtures. And besides if you were honestly the type that would make the moves, you'd do it already cause it seems like he's doing all the affection. You got pretty much two choices, either bump up the affection or continue to wait for him to make the big move.
norajane Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 Do you flirt with him? Look into his eyes when he's talking? Hug him? It's pretty easy to turn a hug into a kiss.
whichwayisup Posted May 27, 2006 Posted May 27, 2006 Next time you two are on the couch, be affectionate with him. Just reach over and hold his hand. Cuddle up next to him..And just see how he reacts. I agree with Norajane. A hug can turn into a kiss...
Guest Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 Next time you two are on the couch, be affectionate with him. Just reach over and hold his hand. Cuddle up next to him..And just see how he reacts. I agree with Norajane. A hug can turn into a kiss... You are definitely right that I am not the assertive, bold mover type. So I will try to get up the nerve to help things along. Thanks for your help.
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