this is really something strange

[little_girl]

i'm going 2 keep this as short as i can, if it's at all possible.i was with the same man 4 8years, i loved him from the start. but as in all relationships there r there ups & downs, we had r's. i've always been faihthful in my relationships, but last nov. my man was hunting & i ran into an old friend & one thing lead 2 the other & we had about a 2 month affair. i felt terrible about it the whole time so i broke it off. my man proposed 2 me on our 8th anniversary dec.31. we were planning a july 1st wedding & we were happy & reunited i never told him about the affair, & on jan.16th he passed away from a heart attack. i was forced 2 move back 2 MN. where our families were & it's where i wanted 2 b. i finally went 2 work after 2 months at a casino, where i met some really great people. one of my co-workers & i became really close friends, yes he's a man. anyway he's married & has a friend also, but like b4 one thing lead 2 the other & we had sex, now i've met someone else & moved into his house cuz i really had no place 2 go & i have a new job in another town, which is good. i really like this guy & i don't want 2 do anything 2 hurt him like my fiance' i'm not in love with him but i maybe would try again afterall i'm no spring chicken anymore. but i find myself still attracted 2 the other guy with a wife & a friend, & a hopeless situation & totally out of my character from my life before. so what do i do? i know walking away would b the best but i'm not sure i can or want 2!! is it cuz if my guilt of my affair & then losing my man or what? can someone please give me some advice or tell me i'm crazy!! lost in MN.