Yeah...

[Slapshot2286]

You guys are misunderstanding a lot about what I'm trying to communicate. Up until this point, I have been very proud of the fact that I have never cheated on a girl, nor have I ever wanted to. Everyone always asks if I've ever cheated on anyone, and up until this point, I've said no. I really don't believe in cheating, I hate it. As I said, I feel like the lowest person ever. Its about more than my girlfriend. Its about the fact that I went against something that meant so much to me. Its like I was two different people.

 

I went to this party with absolutely no intent to cheat or meet any girl, I went to hang out with my friends. This girl was really into me the whole night, and I was kind of ignoring it because she was all full of herself. Then she apologized and we started talking. It ended up that we were by ourselves, and when she presented the opportunity, I felt like I wanted to. It scared me, and I actually stormed out of the apartment...incredibly confused by my feelings. I sat in my car for about 20 minutes. I don't know why, but I went back in.

 

 

On a side note, MrDarcy if you want to criticize me, save it for another time. This is for advice, not ridicule. I know what I did is wrong, and yes, I do know the consequences. Do YOU know my girlfriend? No. I do. I know how it would affect her. This is one of the reasons why I'm taking so much time to make sure I do the right thing.

 

Regardless of what I did, she has my heart. I made a mistake, and I recognize that. And I realize that I don't deserve her, and that she doesn't deserve this.

 

Vertex, you've always given me good advice before whenever I've posted, so I'm surprised you're so quick to assume that I can't think in her eyes. If I didn't, I probably would just keep it from her and never say anything. I know her, and she would stick around and never be the wiser. But I want to do the right thing. I know I f***ed up big time, and I want to be a man and do the right thing...for her, not me. I deserve whatever may come, but she does not. All I want is for her to be happy.

[whichwayisup]

It ended up that we were by ourselves, and when she presented the opportunity, I felt like I wanted to. It scared me, and I actually stormed out of the apartment...incredibly confused by my feelings. I sat in my car for about 20 minutes. I don't know why, but I went back in.

 

You learned an awful lesson. Never PUT yourself IN that situation where you can't say no. Don't tempt yourself. You made the wrong choice by changing your mind and going back inside.

 

But, you can't undo what you did, all you can do is make sure you don't allow that opportunity to present itself to you again. Don't be alone with girls that aren't your girlfriend.

 

This girl, she knew you had a girlfriend right? So, she was testing the waters to see how far she could push things - And it worked.

 

Stop beating up on yourself. You f***ed up, admitted it and now you have to face the music. Ofcourse you don't want to hurt her - Maybe if it was just a kiss then I would say don't mention it, but you slept with another woman, without a condom (for the most part) so that is another reason to tell her. Either way, it's not going to be easy...I feel bad for your girlfriend, you're right, she doesn't deserve to be hurt but you have to tell her the truth.

 

Hang in there and just be honest with her. Maybe take some time for you, write all your thoughts out, what approach you want to take and write her a letter. Don't give it to her, this is just something to prep yourself for. You don't want to go into this not knowing what to say or how to react when she freaks out.

[Slapshot2286]

This girl is engaged to a guy. We were both taken and have never cheated. Me and the girl talked about it for a long time afterwards, and we both feel like s***. I think she's just about broken it off with her fiance....not for me, but she realized that its not where she wants to be (he's in Japan and won't be home for 2 years). Honestly I think that's what had a lot to do with it. We're both practically married and we are both kind of unsure if its where we want to be.

[whichwayisup]

Okay, with that being said, honestly, you knowing now that she is more or less going to be single (if she really decides to end her engagement) can you stay away from her? Are you 100% sure she isn't going to pursue you, call you and want to "talk" about what happened between you two?

 

Know right now where your loyalities lay. If your girlfriend gives you a second chance, be prepared to end that friendship with that girl. Meaning, you can't ever speak to her or anything again. Even if it means you may have to be mean to this girl to get her out of your life forever...Hope that makes sense to you.

[whichwayisup]

We're both practically married and we are both kind of unsure if its where we want to be.

 

Sorry, just re-read this last part.

 

Okay, then you need to really sit and think. Decide if your girlfriend is worth it or not. If you aren't sure she is the one for you, maybe it is time to end it.

[Slapshot2286]

Yeah I'm absolutely sure this girl won't pursue me. She lives like 800 miles away. This girl is insignificant. My girlfriend is what's important.

[whichwayisup]

That's good.

 

Now, concentrate on fixing things and learning from your mistake. As I said, what is done is done - Now the hard work takes place to fix things.

 

Good luck and I really hope things work out for you.

[Slapshot2286]

Yeah...I just dont' know the right thing to do. Like me and my girlfriend just had this long talk. I think that what happened between me and this girl is that since me and my girlfriend are apart, we've been taking the summer to kind of figure out who we are...since for the longest time we have been so infatuated with each other that we lost much of our individuality. We both agree that we're taking the summer to sort things out for us as individuals. I think I might have just gone a bit too far with it.