AL Posted October 27, 2001 Share Posted October 27, 2001 I'm curious about " disgusting girl" Will the guys " do it " with a girl who is pretty but having disgusting personality? and that girl is always flirting with the guy... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 27, 2001 Share Posted October 27, 2001 Depends on the guy. Some guys "do it" with anything that moves. Link to post Share on other sites
AL Posted October 28, 2001 Share Posted October 28, 2001 Anyone can suggest good books about improving self EQ? I am having serious problem dealing with my gf because I cannot handle my emotions well? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 28, 2001 Share Posted October 28, 2001 Go here: http://trochim.human.cornell.edu/gallery/young/emotion.htm This site talks about a book called Emotional Intelligence. Frankly, if you are having such a problem it is most probably due to issues in your childhood and upbringing and may need the help of a councellor. Books are nice but you often need professional guidance to get in touch with complicated issues. Basically, you need to understand that YOU are the one who decides you emotional reaction to events. YOU are the one who makes a decision on how to process on incoming data from life. Chosing a rational and appropriate emotion is the better thing to do. However, often as children we are not guided on the sane reaction to things and grow up overreacting to almost everything. Get some help. This is far too complicated a subject for me to deal with here in a forum. Link to post Share on other sites
AL Posted October 28, 2001 Share Posted October 28, 2001 The problem I am having is that, I am a " super" sensitive person. So every little things that my gf does will affect my emotion, such as she didn't call me for the whole day, or she sounds cold on the phone. i would get really desperate when she does those. I guess i am not feeling secure too. As a result, i get very emotional in front of her, sometimes cry and blaming her for something nonsense. anyway...i know i have a problem dealing with my emotions. My weakness has been full revealed in the way i am handling my relationship. i have never relised how bad i'm until i went out with by current gf. This hurting our relationship so much. This emotional problem affects my work as well. so i definitly need some help.. Go here: http://trochim.human.cornell.edu/gallery/young/emotion.htm This site talks about a book called Emotional Intelligence. Frankly, if you are having such a problem it is most probably due to issues in your childhood and upbringing and may need the help of a councellor. Books are nice but you often need professional guidance to get in touch with complicated issues. Basically, you need to understand that YOU are the one who decides you emotional reaction to events. YOU are the one who makes a decision on how to process on incoming data from life. Chosing a rational and appropriate emotion is the better thing to do. However, often as children we are not guided on the sane reaction to things and grow up overreacting to almost everything. Get some help. This is far too complicated a subject for me to deal with here in a forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 28, 2001 Share Posted October 28, 2001 Well, get some help as I have suggested. A highly competent professional counsellor may do wonders but you must work on yourself. Understand that you have total control of your emotional responses. They are decisions YOU make. Emotions are not something that control us. Emotions occur as a result of decisions we make on how to respond to outside stimuli. That's why some people can be quite happy or even indifferent about the same things others may get depressed or angry about, such as the result of a sporting event. It is NOT the event that causes the reaction, it is the individual's manner of processing the data. I am a big sports fan but I am never, ever affected in even the most mild way about the result of a sporting event. I am sometimes mystified if my own team, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, wins a game because they are pretty bad this year. But my life changes in no ways whether they win or lose or drown in the river. This also may be your way of handling your control issues. If you have a deep need to control people, such as making them call you when they are supposed to or making them sounding warm on the phone instead of cold, you may react by becomming depressed rather than angry. The rational approach to both of those events would be some degree of disappointment. However, it is insane to let those things ruin your whole day. You give other people way too much power to control your emotional being. If you don't get yourself together pretty soon, you will be destroyed. Not your girlfriend or anyone else on the planet is responsible for you emotionally. You have to control that yourself. And your girlfriend is NOT obligated to ever call you if she doesn't want to and she's NOT obligated to sound warmly over the phone. If she does please you, that's a plus, but to demand those things from her or anybody is just plain nuts. No other human being on the planet deserves the burden of keeping you emotionally level. That's your job! Link to post Share on other sites
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