So I may have issues

[evilsnail]

So i am nineteen and i was what some call a late bloomer. Im not pretty or blessed with large girlish attributes (t&A), i look innocent, i wear glasses, im crazy, however for some reason i attract people. Granted they are all very different and very strange but they're there. Im extremely self conscious. For some reason i find it easier to have sex with random people than those i have any respect for. This poses problems in my mind. People tell me im good in bed but i dont truly believe it. what if im horrible and they are just desperate after all it would explain why they're with me right? its just that the overachiever in me decided if this thing was worth doing it was gonna stop hurting and start feeling good. So you decipher how to wriggle around just right to end up happy. This leads me to my main problem the fact that i dont feel comfortable sleeping with those who want to sleep with me and care about me. as time progresses it feels more and more awkward and i feel guilty because i do it and full blown but it takes alot of prodding. what can i do to make myself stop wanting anonymous and start wanting familiar? its so awkward for me and its causing giving pleasure to be a necessary annoyance and i am far too hormonal to give up sex but i dont want to sleep with every man in the state for variation.