Is there something going on??

[Sammy]

I am 17 years old and a senior in high school. My boyfriend of 2 months, Paul, is a freshman in college. His exgirlfriend, Charlotte, (they were going out for a year - they were the "In" couple at my high school) broke up with him before the summer because she was leaving to the east coast for school. Well, everything was going fine. I think that we have a good relationship, and we're not taking it too seriously like most young couples do.

 

Charlotte came back to town for a couple of days and Paul and I bumped into her at the mall last week. They exchanged words, him saying that he didn't know she was in town and she said that they should get together while she was here. Paul then introduced me, but he didn't say that I was his girlfriend (and he usually does so). He said, "Oh, Charlotte, this is Samantha."

 

Well, I found out that they went out to coffee (by Paul's best friend) and that Paul didn't get back home until 4 am (by his mother). I wasn't snooping or anything. I was just told that.

 

I find it very suspicious that he didn't say anything to me about it and that he went home very late. It is my understanding that Charlotte broke his heart and that Paul might still be getting over her.

 

Paul and I have talked about falling in love with each other, but neither of us have said I LOVE YOU yet to each other. I know he cares about me and I care about him, despite our reluctance to become too serious too fast.

 

He hasn't said anything about it and neither have I. Do I have a right to be suspicious and if so, should I say anything about it to him?

[Tony T]

I think when a guy stays out until 4 a.m. with anybody, least of all his ex, that presents a suspicious circumstance. I think you deserve an explanation.

 

I also think you ought to go find a guy who will shoot straight with you, be honest and open with you, and not do things behind your back.

 

It's pretty obvious Paul is still sweet on Charlotte. If he was meeting with her to resolve some old issues, he would have told you...or at least he wouldn't have been out until 4 a.m.

 

When a guy pulls crap like this on you this early in a relationship, you can bet there is more to come.

 

Before you tell him to kiss you butt, see what his explanation is. Don't tell him what you know. See if he lies. If he does, end it right there. If he doesn't, consider his explanation carefully and YOU decide what you want to do with this.